[20:38]

"What did you just say?..." Diana asked with a puzzled face.

Then I said, "Do you remember I told you that you're my role model? Have you ever thought about the reason behind it?..." 

She stayed silent and I stared at her for a few seconds, then I continued, "Since Ashley kept talking about you whenever we were together and I became aware of you after that little by little, I was amazed by how great you are. 

You're indeed a perfect person...

Accepted from one of the finest universities with high grades and you already have your own business, a car, and a house. 

You live completely independently of the support of your parents. You know so many different languages, which shows you're incredibly intelligent and smart. 

Also, you've been kind, supportive, and humble with a big heart despite the fact that sometimes you seem cold and distant... So I~... Whenever I thought of it, I wondered if I could ever be someone like you... "

I inhaled a breath and added while my voice was trembling, "But now~... Acknowledging that you wanna be in a beneficial relationship and ignoring your own feelings or his made me disappointed~

I can't understand why you~ "

"We can call our friendship off if you're disappointed." She snapped at me with a cold expression on her face.

Her words made my heart sink... 

I mumbled, "That's not~... What... I~..."

"Lily! I've never asked you to idolise me!..." she raised her voice and then continued, "I'm also a human! I'm not as perfect as you imagined me!... " 

Diana sprang up from the couch and let out a big sigh frustratingly, "Get out..."

My eyes widened in shock, "Diane~... " 

Suddenly, she yelled, "Don't think you can lecture me now that you're closer to me!... You know nothing about me!... Just get out of my house!"

As she repeated "Get out" again, I reminisced about the time when my dad had almost kicked me out of the house before locking me in the basement after my sister's incident...

I remembered all those tough moments of begging him to forgive me and not to make me leave our house, while he kept repeating, "Get out, I don't want a daughter like you!"

My whole body shivered with overwhelmed feelings that were rushing into my mind at the speed of light. 

I slipped down the couch, kneeling on my knees, and grabbed Diana's leg to beg her as she avoided my gaze. "I'm Sorry!~... I'm sorry!... I said something stupid... I won't do it again!... I'm sorry..." 

I was so anxious, and my heart was beating at full speed that I couldn't breathe normally, and my hands were cold as ice as tears started to flow down my cheeks.

~

Diana's POV: 

[20:51]

I was so pissed off that I hadn't noticed what I'm even doing to her. I grabbed her forearms and separated them from my leg, then lifted her by pulling up her arms aggressively.

As she was still in my grasp, my gaze locked on hers, and I was lost in her desperate ocean-like eyes that were now filled with waves of tears. 

I couldn't say anything as if someone had zipped my lips. 

I just stared at Lily while she said sorry nonstop until she was running out of breath, and leaned her head on my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist, grasping my T-shirt tightly as she sobbed "I'm sorry~~... Don't kick me~... out~..."

I was taken aback by her reaction. "Lily... Heyy!~... I won't!... I was just~... "

I hugged Lily and stroked her hair with my hand and rubbed her back gently as I didn't have anything to say until she calmed down and stopped crying. 

Then I muttered, "I'm truly amazed at how much you can produce tears in such a short moment..."

She lifted her head up and stared at me with a sad puppy expression on her face, and I whipped her tears with my thumbs. "Gosh!... You're indeed a crybaby!..."

"I'm sorry~..." Lily said as she put her head on my chest again. "Stop saying sorry..." I replied and then sighed. 

She was clinging to me like a baby koala and still trembling slightly... 

We just stayed there in that position for a while, then Lily pulled back, her gaze fixed on the floor, and she said, "I was nosy... I shouldn't have meddle... " 

I ran my hand through my hair and said after an exhale, "I also was harsh on you... I didn't mean to scare you, so sorry." 

"It's okay." She replied. 

As I looked at her, she was fidgeting nervously, and it was obvious that she was trying to hold herself back, I felt guilty for losing my temper. 

Then I said after nuzzling her hair, "Go wash your face. I'll make hot cocoa for you... " 

Lily nodded and walked away... 

~

[21:17]

I made a cup of cocoa for her and coffee for myself, then I placed them on the coffee table with doughnuts she had bought earlier and waited for a few minutes thinking about the messed up situation until she returned and sat down next to me quietly. 

I glanced at Lily, still wearing a knitted sweater on her shirt, which was a bit wet now after coming back from the bathroom. Then I asked, "Aren't you hot? Take that off... and It's wet in front. You should let it dry..."

-"Oh! Okay."

As she grasped her sweater to take it off, the shirt underneath pulled up a bit along with it. 

My attention fell on her bare back unintentionally. Noticing some bruises there, I held her shirt up and asked in confusion, "What are these?!"

Lily was taken aback and jolted away. "This~... It's nothing serious~..." Then, pulled her shirt down nervously.

"You have so many bruises on your body, and you say 'it's nothing'?" I grumbled as I was shocked.

"My mom~... punished me~..." she mumbled.

+"What?! Why?"

-"That night~ I didn't answer her calls~ So~... "

+"Just because of that? Why would she~..."

-"I told you~ They hate me~" and she sipped her cocoa.

I felt as if someone was squeezing my heart since I could feel the pain and sadness in her voice. However, I couldn't say anything. 

They've been hurting her for so long, and I also hurt her just a few minutes ago...

+"Did you put ointment on them?" 

-"No. It's not necessary."

I stood up and went to the bathroom to pick up my first aid box from there, and then I walked back to the living room. "Take off your shirt. I'll do it for you..." 

She said flusteredly as she flinched, "No! No worries!"

As I stood above Lily and placed the box on the couch, I leaned close and said, "Don't be stubborn." Then I took out her shirt in an instant as she was struggling in my hands, resisting.

"Nooo~~ I don't need it!~..." she whined shyly.

I sat behind her on the couch and rubbed the ointment on Lily's back. "Just drink your cocoa and relax. Let me do my work..."

I could see that her nape blushed out of embarrassment, which made me grinned somehow. However, observing those bruises was not easy for me. 

Why would they hurt such a lovely girl like her?!...

I want to ruin them all...

After I was done, I wrapped my arms around her and rested my forehead on her shoulder. Then I said, overwhelmed, "What should I do, Lily?"

"What do you mean?~" she asked worriedly, staying still into my arms. 

+"I don't know~" 

-"talk to me! I swear I won't judge anymore!" 

+"It's just~ I guess I'm losing my mind~ Even I can't understand myself, so how can you?"

She turned around to look at me and said, "We can try~ " 

I stared at her shirtless and averted my gaze, "First put on your shirt." 

She glanced at herself, "Agh! Sorry~," and quickly put her shirt on nervously, waiting for me to talk after that.

Then I continued calmly, "I guess I'm acting too impulsively these days since I'm frustrated by my situation. Everything is overwhelming me.

It hasn't been easy for me these last few months...

I've been suppressing my feelings for so long, and now the only thing left are the scars caused by them...

I know dating him wasn't the right idea, but I wanna get out of this shit and I thought maybe we could get along well... So why not?~... Also~... I~..."

I was about to say one of the things that bothers me is including you, but I couldn't...

I'm afraid of staying with Lily since she's fragile like a crystal that already has a few cracks ...

I don't want to hurt her like others because I know she's on the edge...

I keep wanting to help her....

I feel like I shouldn't let her be alone...

I should protect and help her to grow and get out of her tough situation...

However, I don't want her to be so dependent on me...

Expectations are scary... 

Lily cut through my thoughts and said, "It must have been pretty difficult to endure it alone..." 

And then she hugged me, "I'm sorry I misjudged you... You still can~... em~... try your best~... in your new relationship~ I'm sure you deserve a fresh start~... I hope everything goes well between you two then~..." 

I could feel that Lily was crying again, but trying to control herself as she shivered slightly in my embrace...

"I hope so." I answered as I gritted my teeth. 

~

Lily's POV: 

[21:42]

"I'm rooting for you~..." I said sorrowfully as we were in each other's arms, and my tears were rolling down...

I was so close to losing Diana forever... 

I'm still in shock, unable to control my extraordinary feelings...

After what happened between us today, I was finally sure that I'm indeed in love with Diana...

And it's been so unbearable for me to see her with anyone else, whether it's Ashley or that boy...

It's too much for me to handle...

The sensation of her touch on my skin...

The warmth of her embrace...

The intensity of her gaze...

The soothing tone of her calm voice...

I want more...

I want them all for myself...

I want to shout right here, right now that I like her...

I'm already so attached to her that I can't even think of living without her...

But I can't...

She only pities me...

She just sees me as troublesome...

I know that I'm a burden on her shoulders...

I know she doesn't want to think of me more than friends...

Also, she just started dating...

She wants to move on...

And I should support her with all my might...

However...

What about me?

What should I do?

Why do I keep failing in my life?

Why can't you love me?

You could've just used me instead of him~...

But I'm not even that worthy~...

I'm hurt~...

My heart is broken~...

It feels like it's been ripped out of my chest~...

What should I do with my one-sided love?~...

.

.