Sophie

I get off the phone - kind of a little heartbreaking when I have to do it with Tommaso.

 However, things are serious this time. It might seem less bad than it actually is, but Marco definitely doesn't deserve another delusion. Especially after what happened in April… 

 I still remember when he told us that he was dating this guy, Salvatore. I also remember that when I met him, I didn’t get a good feeling from him at all, but I saw Marco smiling after a long time and it overshadowed my dislikes. 

 Well, I was right. I wish I was not for once. That guy manipulated Marco in such an absurd way, he intoxicated him with all his words and attention for months, and then he just disappeared. I’m not joking, he REALLY disappeared. One day, he left Marco alone in an amusement park and Marco lost track of him for days. He appeared some time later and texted him, saying that he wasn’t attracted to him and that he didn’t want to continue their affair, without any clarification. Marco tried everything in order to understand what was the reason for such a sudden decision and he spent entire days in despair, trying to figure out if he did something wrong, if he was the problem. He wasn’t the problem, apparently, since he saw Salvatore and another guy some weeks later. Salvatore ignored him completely. And that’s not the worst part of the story. Salvatore texted Marco again in May, telling him that he was sorry for his behavior and that he wanted to, you know, fix everything. Marco was clearly not ready to start something again with him after all the pain he had caused, so he told him that he didn’t want to meet up again. Good heavens. He sent, like, one hundred text messages, saying that he dated him just for fun, that he had problems with himself, that he was disgusting and no one would really like him. Kind of a narcissist. No need to say how Marco felt bad for this.

 Marco’s that kind of person who tries to hide his vulnerability with a heavy armor and he wasn’t ready to find someone who could actually destroy it in such a short time. Salvatore left him alone, with no certainties, no trusts, no lights. Bit of a blow for him. It took a long time for him to heal, and he had some very hard times. I still remember one or two episodes when he panicked so much that he couldn’t even breathe. We told him to, you know, think about starting a psycho-terapy journey, but he didn’t want to. I stopped thinking about it when I saw him looking fine these months.

 But now, here we go again. Marco has a natural talent for falling in love with people who will never love him back, but this time he definitely crossed a line. When he told me he had a crush on Giacomo, I knew it would have not been a passing thing, despite what Lisa and Anna thought. I tried immediately to warn him because, God, I KNEW it would have ended this way. There we are! Giacomo figured it out and Marco’s heart will break as never before. I mean, it could be told in thousands of ways, but it’s still a reject. Besides, Tommaso told me that Giacomo is dating his ex-girlfriend and Marco still doesn’t know it, and I feel like I’m such a terrible friend for not doing that, but I’m just so scared of his reaction… And now, things are even worse! I can’t hide it. He must know. But I really don’t want to ruin his holidays… Should I wait until the end of Christmas time? 

 Better if I talk to Lisa and Anna so that we can create the right situation, in order to make it as less painful as possible for him. Some time ago, Lisa told me that it would be better if Marco actually talks to Giacomo directly. No way. I like Giacomo, he’s a good guy, but he really doesn’t think before speaking at all and he might say things that could hurt Marco even more. We can’t leave Marco in his hands.

 I see a notification on my phone. God, it’s Marco…