After leaving registration, I ran back to the room and quickly changed into my Nyx uniform, shedding my personality as I shed my clothes. There was no time to spare. There never was any in the first place. 

I hurried out of the guest room and sprinted down the hallways decorated with faces, their likenesses blurring together as I sped by them, meshing into the face of the emperor who would be deciding my future. 

My thoughts were flying and my brain was struggling to keep up. I was registered. What had I done? I was fighting a battle in which I could die for a stranger. The fight would be gruesome, and my odds were abysmal. I was officially fighting The Devil Slayer, the hero of the 6th.

But wasn’t this what I did for Analina? Did I not risk my life, my job, and my dreams for a child, one that was not mine?

I had done it again. I had gained another bad habit, one that I could never shake. 

Partygoers gasped as I walked by them, shocked to see an imperial princess in anything but a dress. Luckily, without my mask, nobody could connect me to Nyx, a monster only known by her porcelain facade and her peonies.

Was this habit of rescuing just a form of rebellion? But that cannot be. I never rebelled. I was the perfect silent daughter.

I was a sinner, one that could never be forgiven. I wasn’t going to the forever meadows, no matter how many good deeds I did. The rules of fate at play in our Empire had no business changing for a lowly extra child such as myself.

But Analina, I saw myself in her. I could imagine her pain through memories I long to forget. And in Atlas, I saw my sorrows reflected in their cosmic eyes. I knew what it was like to be powerless against a force I could not control. 

So was this change just another example of my hubris? I reminded myself daily I was nothing special, and my worthlessness haunted my dreams, yet this is what had become of me. My ego had led to my downfall. 

So was I making the right decision to rescue Atlas? Or would this lead to my death?

I pulled on my hood and glittering white mask as I descended into the passageway, shedding the last bits of the princess I was. Then, I reopened the palm slices in one quick motion and watched as the blood dripped onto my Nyx uniform, the fluid staining the white fabric like red wine. 

This was the second time I entered a Coliseum against my father’s wishes, but the knots of nervousness boiling inside my stomach were all new. My life was on the line in a way I hadn’t experienced in years. I had no idea what to expect of the 6th’s galeiditara, a national hero in his own right. 

I walked into the entrance gate of the Coliseum as my thoughts spiraled further out of my control, calling my Nyx to awaken from its slumber.

Blood.

I need blood.

This was one of the few times when I could fully let my Nyx take over my body. As I walked down the hallway to the Coliseum, my racing thoughts halted, startled and scared. All that was left was the whispers of a monster waiting to be let out.

Where is the lamb?

Where is the little lamb waiting for the rush of red?

I am so hungry.

So, so hungry.

I was starting to lose consciousness, the dizziness sending shocks through my damaged soul.

There’s the lamb sitting nicely lined up for a bath. 

I looked up and stared into eyes filled with greed. The Devil Slayer was prancing around the Coliseum, decked out in gold armor and a sparkling gilded sword, but to my Nyx he was just another lamb lined up for slaughter. My vision was blinking out, the dizziness taking over my body.

What a nice surprise.

My mind flew to the meadows as the monster entered my body. 

I regained consciousness in a pool of blood, holding a severed head in one hand and a gilded sword in the other.

In the eye of the storm, life is quiet. The raging waters run still, hiding secrets in their depths while the storm rages on.

As Nyx, chaos and destruction spiraled around me like a hurricane, but my thoughts turned robotic. I was a weapon, not an emotional mess. This power, this monster inside of me, cost me three things to let out: blood, my memories, and my chance at a normal life.

The crowd roared in applause, excited to see Nyx, the Monster of the 4th, once again disembowel a national hero. Hydrangeas fell from the sky like the snow of the North, brushing off my shoulders and falling to the dirt below me. 

But I was not here for the applause. I did not fight this galeiditara match to defend my pride.

I won this match fair and square, so I earned my favor from the 6th Emperor. Hopefully, the blood of his most prized possession would be enough to grant me it. 

I flew up to his gilded spectator box and bowed respectfully, as one does when confronted with royalty. However, both of us knew this was just a formality. We both knew who truly held the power here.

“Nyx,” the 6th Emperor said. “Nyx, I am your friend. How did I provoke you to make you attack my galeiditara so viciously? What ever did I do to deserve this? I have only ever been good to you, my darling little monster.”

We had never spoken. 

“I would like you to redeem a favor, your imperial Majesty,” I stated, barely holding back a glare. 

My father approached the 6th Emperor from behind me, a frightening grin lighting up his face. The 4th Emperor only smiled when he was plotting something.

“My galeiditara would like the border colony of Trixx as her prize,” he bargained. “Is that too much to ask of the humiliated man standing in front of me?”

“Do I get to keep the third daughter?” the 6th Emperor implored, ever the womanizer. “What was her name? Azura? She had quite the fight in her. I’m quite looking forward to taming her. I haven’t seen women as beautiful as your daughters since, well, since my latest acquisition.”

He wanted me. Why did he want me? Was I willing to throw away my only chance of escape and become nothing more than a porcelain doll for a mere stranger’s freedom?

“This,” my father started to say. “Can be negoti-”

“I, Nyx, Vanquisher of the Northern Sea, will take your dragon as my prize,” I shouted, desperate for someone to hear my cries.

I was too loud. I forgot. Nyx was the silent weapon, voiceless and nameless. Nyx was just an object, not something that was allowed to have opinions. I was not allowed to have opinions.

But it was too late. The 6th emperor looked up at my father and smirked. 

“Atlas? I have been wanting to get that old thing off of my hands for a while now. The dragon isn’t good for anything useful, mind you,” the 6th Emperor said, “I will gladly let you have him.”

The battle ended in victory, and I had come out mostly unscathed. However, the war was far from over.