I rolled my eyes and rubbed my temples as I sat behind my laptop. This seminar was fucking mandatory. All three hours of it. I already knew all this, but I still had to watch it through.

“In the nineteen-sixties, True Order was still the biggest political party in our country, with up to eighty percent support rate in the majority of states, and at least sixty-five in the rest. Their main political views revolved around affordable housing, education, and health care; the growth of a rich social and economic infrastructure; and preserving individual freedom.

“Noble views, however, this all was only meant for alphas, as they strongly believed omegas were lesser beings, weak and far less intellect, therefore didn’t need basic human rights, and were treated as possession.”

“You mean as pets, slaves, and baby makers,” I muttered to the screen.

“Over the years, attitudes changed, and omegas began gaining more rights, while True Order kept losing support in each round of elections, until the rival parties outnumbered them. Entering the twenty-first century, the support rate of the True Order party had plummeted below forty percent, being as low as fifteen percent in many states.

“And in the year two-thousand and two, all laws restricting omegas and their rights were demolished, and they were declared as equals to alphas. But this day that should’ve marked the exciting beginning of a new era of equality went down in history as the Day of Eleven Flags.”

I was five years old that day, but I still remembered it. The whole country was watching the news when the laws were demolished. Minutes later, several groups of True Order supporters set off bombs in eleven cities, killing thousands of people. On that day each year, black flags were hoisted all over the country to mourn the people lost.

But it didn’t end there.

“That day brought terrorism into our lives,” the sergeant continued with a grim voice. “Encouraged by the horrific events of the Day of Eleven Flags, the supporters of True Order began attacking civilians, setting bombs in large, crowded buildings and events. The political party itself dissociated themselves from these groups, loudly demanding for their supporters to stop engaging in these deadly acts, but later it was found that some of the biggest figures in the party were endorsing these groups, supported them financially, or even took part in the terroristic attacks. These discoveries marked the end of the True Order party, as it was quickly disbanded and banned from politics.”

Which made things only worse.

“With these attacks on the rapid rise, our military and police force couldn’t respond to these threats as efficiently as would’ve been needed. In two-thousand and three, military special operations units were founded all over the country as a response, and you are now in one of them.”

The man stared at me, and I paused the video. Suddenly, I felt… I felt something. My reason to be in this unit had never had much to do with True Order, but listening to this seminar was bringing up hatred I didn’t know I had.

When I was about to continue watching the video, someone knocked on the door. Thank fucking god…

“Come in.”

It was the captain who opened the door. “Mind if I interrupt?”

“Not at all,” I said and turned around in my seat.

He made his way to my desk and peered at the screen. “You’re watching the seminar?”

“Just started,” I said, glancing at the laptop. “It’s the first episode.”

“The fall of True Order,” he said with a sigh. “The reason we exist.”

I nodded slowly, expecting him to tell me why he was here, but he turned the laptop toward him instead.

“You know, I’m one of the original twelve captains in the unit. The seventh they recruited.”

“Really?” I asked, facing him.

He nodded. “Yup. So would you rather watch this seminar, or get a private tour from me?”

“A private tour sounds so much better,” I said.

“Great! Grab your stuff and don’t forget your tag. Let’s go for a little ride,” he said, returning to the doorway.

I quickly took my phone and the tag, then grabbed my jacket. When I followed him out of the room, the familiar feeling of being lured into a trap slowly raised its ugly head, but I chose to ignore it. My omega, however, did not. It was getting nervous, but I couldn’t understand why. It had been fine with this man until now. He hadn’t given us a single reason I should be wary of him, and his alpha hadn’t shown any interest in my omega. Unless I’d missed something?

But… If the captain had bad intentions, maybe it was better to get it out of the way. There was nothing I could do about it, anyway, not as long as I wanted to stay in this unit.

And fuck, that made me feel sick… The omega in me hated my reasoning.

“All good?” he asked me when we exited the building.

“Yeah. All good,” I said.

“Hmm…” he uttered, taking a good long look at me like he didn’t quite believe me.

I stayed silent as we made our way to his Jeep, trying to keep my omega calm, but when we sat in the car, and the captain peered at me from the corner of his eye, the scent of his pheromones growing stronger, both my omega and I got nervous. He closed his door, but I suddenly couldn’t. I just sat there, my hand frozen on the door, my omega begging for us to leave the car.

“Sir, I…” I didn’t even know what I wanted to say. 

The captain let out a long breath and leaned back against his seat, but I couldn’t even look at him.

“It’s been a bit of a weekend for you, huh…?” he said quietly, his voice soft.

“Kind of,” I whispered.

“It’s different here. Different smells. New people. My boys are big and strong, which probably doesn’t help at all. You’re strong, but it must be overwhelming,” he spoke quietly.

“Sir…?”

I still didn’t look at him.

“What I’m trying to say is take a deep breath for me. You’re all right,” he said.

I hated it. I hated him for his words. I couldn’t afford to show weakness, but here I was, nearly panicking, letting this alpha see me in a vulnerable state. I was stronger than this. All the things I’d been through… Why was I now breaking apart? I got where I wanted, for fuck’s sake! Why was I now constantly breaking apart?!

“One deep breath, okay?”

I forced air into my lungs, wishing he’d just assault me already, so I didn’t have to keep guessing. Then I’d know. I could live with that. I’d lived with that for a long time now. But this? I couldn’t live with this.

“This is going to sound weird, but…” the captain said, moving his hand closer, keeping his palm down. “You could try touching my hand.”

“What?” I asked, finally turning to him.

He shrugged a little, giving me a small smile. “You don’t have to, of course, but it may help.”

I turned to stare at his hand. He held it hovering over the gearstick, keeping it perfectly still. Why would it help…? But he was a natural behavior therapist, so… Slowly, I reached for it, and carefully touched the back of his hand with my fingertips. This was the oddest shit anyone had ever made me do…

“Now take a deep breath…” he told me, and I did. “Good boy.”

Fuck me, my omega actually calmed a little as I moved my fingers on his rugged skin.

“And why is this working?” I asked, and he laughed a little.

“My alpha is actively trying to send messages to your omega to let it know you two don’t have to be afraid of us two. Our natural communication happens through body language and touches, you see,” he explained. “It’s been doing that this entire time, but I guess your omega shut down on us.”

I focused on my breathing and my omega. It was no longer begging for us to leave. It was… a little more accepting of this alpha’s presence again.

“By asking you to touch me, I wanted to draw your omega’s attention back to us. I couldn’t touch you, because your omega would’ve seen that as a forced interaction, so I needed you to touch me out of your own will. By doing so, you showed your omega you aren’t afraid of us, and it looks like your omega trusted your judgment, so now it’s more willing to listen to us again.” 

I listened quietly to both his words and his body language. His expression and posture were nothing but relaxed and friendly. Nothing about him made me feel nervous anymore. I couldn’t even figure out why we freaked out in the first place.

“I… I think it’s working. My omega… It’s calming down,” I told him. 

“That’s good,” he said softly. “Take your time.”

“I…” 

I was going to say I was fine now, but I couldn’t pull my hand away just yet. I just… Just a little bit longer…

After all the pain…

I forced myself to get a grip and pulled my hand back.

“I’m sorry… I don’t know what got into me,” I said quietly, finally closing the door.

“Don’t worry about it. I know it’s been a long weekend for you,” he said. “Sometimes things simply get overwhelming.”

I slowly relaxed my shoulders and took a few deep breaths while he started the car. I did notice he waited for a bit before he backed out of the parking spot, giving me time to change my mind. But I was feeling better now. When I looked at him, he gave me a kind smile.

I… I just couldn’t see him as a rapist. I simply couldn’t.

But maybe that was why my omega was freaking out. I was being too careless.