Nick tilted his head as well and pursed his lips. “About that.” He plopped onto the bench of the picnic table, crossing his arms on the wooden surface. “They’re in Drand.”

“Drand?” Ashley’s question came with an incredulous tone, her brow furrowed. “What the hell do they have to be there for so suddenly- wait, is grandpa alright?”

“He’s fine, but he’s gonna be down for a bit while he recovers.” Nick watched as Lana sat at the table across from him, admiring the blade he’d placed down. “They’re not sure how long they’ll be gone for, I’m assuming, since mom didn’t give me an estimate, but I’m in charge I guess… and since I’m in charge, I get to decide if Lana stays here or not.” His eyes trailed from his sister to her friend, squinting playfully as he eyed her- Lana understood the assignment as she was quick to stare back at him, narrowing her gaze. “I guess she can stay over, if she doesn’t mind my cooking.”

“Aw man, I’m really getting the five star treatment, aren’t I?” Lana smiled, putting her cheek in her hand. “Think you can cook up a romantic dinner for Aislen and I?”

Nick scoffed, mocking her pose and shaking his head. “If you don’t mind both of her older brothers third-partying your date.”

“That’s fine, you can invite your boyfriend over, then Kato is the only one third-wheeling… fifth-wheeling?” Lana thought about it for a moment and effectively chose to shrug instead. “Leo can actually come over now that your parents are gone.”

Nick’s smile dropped and his eyes turned to an irritated scowl. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Right.” Lana nodded, looking away. “Just like your sister isn’t my girlfriend.”

Nick sucked the inside of his cheek, debating on whether or not to tell them about Leo’s proposal to a date. It didn’t really make them… boyfriends, right? They were still just friends, weren’t they? The thought made Nick just the smallest bit sad- he didn’t want to Leo’s friend, he wanted to be his boyfriend. He felt himself involuntarily blush at the thought and he hid his face for a moment, rubbing his cheeks. “Fine- if you care at all, Leo did ask me out yesterday..”

Aislen- or Ashley, as she would be called in Ceros, immediately crossed the yard to the picnic table, slamming herself into the seat directly next to Lana and staring at her brother. “He asked you out? Is that what you and dad were arguing about last night?”

“We weren’t arguing-” Nick rolled his eyes, “we were talking about me hanging around him- dad has no idea he asked me out, and I plan to keep it that way for a little while longer. Leo’s a Nightingale, so dad doesn’t trust him at all.”

“So are you gonna find out why dad doesn’t trust them before telling him?” Ashley asked, and Nick thought about her question for a moment. Perhaps that wasn’t the worst move- he trusted Leo one hundred percent, but his father would be a harder boulder to budge.

"I think-" Nick hesitated for a moment, thinking, "-that's not a terrible idea, but it's going to be a tricky situation. I'm gonna have to pry it out of dad, but good luck with that because he's off in Drand for who knows how long." He was already frustrated at the thought of putting off such an important conversation, but it also didn't seem like the worst thing that could happen- at this point, Nick and Leo were free to discuss what they knew and bring any useful information to the table when it was time to pry it out of Jonathan. "Regardless, that's a headache for later. It's already two, so if we're gonna have that roast mom bought I have to start it now."

"You don't even like roast." Ashley was half correct, Nick would admit. Roast was his absolute least favorite, bottom barrel option when it came to food- he was more a steak kind of guy himself, but he'd eat it if presented to him. More importantly, despite his general lack of interest in it, the roasts he made were specifically Dranduin roasts, and he was damn good at it. 

"But I do!" Lana looked genuinely excited at the prospect of eating the dinner Nick had proposed. "I've never had a roast like it! Your mom really taught you how to cook- how did that knowledge skip over Aislen?" She teased her friend playfully, nudging their shoulders together- but when Ashley responded with looks that could kill, Lana quickly backtracked with an awkward smile. "I'm kidding, I promise!"

"I don't care about cooking, etiquette, any of that stuff!" Ashley was quick to defend herself, huffing with a turn of her head, nose in the air. "I'd rather be in the shop with uncle Setah learning how to make weapons and armor."

"Weapons and armor that I get to use, right?" Nick gave his sister the puppiest of eyes he could, adding a little pout to boot.

Ashley held her stance for just a moment longer before opening a single eye to glance at her brother. "I'm gonna make it puke green if you ask me like that again."

After a quick gagging motion Nick stood up and stretched one final time, picking the sword up off the table and sheathing it in its holster. He ruffled Ashley's hair then returned to the kitchen with a sigh, glancing back to watch the two girls chat and flirt. His mind wandered to Leo- he was worried about him, admittedly, as the blond had barely communicated with him at all, and the texts seemed ominous at best.

Worrying about it wasn’t going to solve anything, yet Nick would feel himself biting the corner of his lip, chewing it raw as he walked up the stairs to put his sword away. It was a disgusting feeling, it was one of Nick’s least favorite emotions to deal with- then again, he just didn’t feel like dealing with any emotion that came with those negative side effects. Stomach cramping, headaches, sweating- it was a waste of his time when he had bigger things to think about. Still yet… none of these things felt nearly as important as Leo in this moment.

Between him, the signa problem, the throne, the possibility of Nightingale finding him out, Nick’s hands would shake as he stripped off his clothes in front of the shower, and it neglected to improve once he’d caught sight of himself in the mirror beside him. Sweaty, dirty, brow furrowed- the scars-

He just sighed. The june heat and his workout was making his head swim, his chest tight, arms heavy-

Ah.

It was a panic attack.

It had been so long since he’d let his problems consume him so much to the point that it would feel overwhelming- he’d trained his brain to avoid it over the years, effectively shutting off that part of his emotions for the better. He had people to be strong for- Leo, his family, an entire country that would look up to him- 

That didn’t help- why did he think about that?

Nick’s hand only reached for the cold tap, his eyes anxiously watching the droplets of water pour out over the tub. Once he deemed it cold enough, he stepped in, pulled the curtain closed and leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, focusing on the feeling of the water over the beating of his heart, the swimming in his head finally coming to a close. He exhaled. Opened his eyes. His jaw was still firmly locked in place, grinding his teeth- that’d stop eventually. The stomach cramps would subside eventually. The pain in his knee would numb eventually.

Everything would be okay eventually.