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To Die Laughing

Chapter 1 Part 2: That a Man Must Laugh or Die

Chapter 1 Part 2: That a Man Must Laugh or Die

Jul 16, 2023

After I got home from school that day, I heard a voice I could recognize it from anywhere, it was - ‘You're a worthless piece of shit, you know that right?’  It said, ‘one loves you, nor do they even care about you!’
‘Oh shut up, besides Bexley cares,’ I called back.
Is that actually true, or is that what he just tells you because he feels guilty leaving you because of those?’ I couldn’t see them, but I knew that the voice was referring to the scars plastered along my body.
‘That's what he tells me.  He says he’s my friend, so I believe him.’
‘Are you sure he is?’ The voice shifted; it sounded like Bexley. ‘I’m only your friend, so I can help you.’ The voice morphed back to its original sound; I couldn’t hear Bexley anymore. 
‘Please stop, he . . . he cares, really, he does.’
‘See Kit, even you pity yourself. You know I’m right, and you just don't want to admit it.’
‘No, he . . . he cares, he does, he really does. Pleasejust leave. Please!’
‘I can’t leave. I am you Kit, you are me, we are one in the same, so don’t you trust me?’
‘I do, but I - I want to trust him too.’
‘Kit, I’m the only one you can trust, so you’ll listen to me right?’
‘Yes, but-‘
‘You trust me, so you know the best thing to do for you right now is to die, right?’
‘Yes, but people care- they- they worry about me!’
‘No, they don’t care. They won’t worry, in fact, they’ll be relieved so you heard me. Kill yourself.’
‘NO!!! I WON’T!!!’
‘Kit, this is for your own good. No one loves you, not Bexley or your parents.  So you heard me, KILL YOURSELF NOW. GRAB THE KNIFE AND DO IT!!!’
‘NO! JUST SHUT UP!!!’
‘I'LL SHUT UP IF YOU GRAB THAT KNIFE AND KILL YOURSELF’
For a split second, I just believed the voice, believed everything it told me. I believed it for just long enough to take a knife sitting on the counter and- ‘DO IT!’ the voice yelled and without second guessing, not even thinking twice I jabbed it into my stomach. As I pulled the knife out of my stomach, I was watching the crimson red blood flow out of the cut. I watched  the blood, no, my blood, as it dripped from the knife. Soon this miserable thing called living would be over. 
I laughed remembering my favorite Edgar Allan Poe quote.  I mumbled, “To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths!”  I don't know if it was meant to be a metaphor, but I laughed, and I laughed.  To the outside world, I must have seemed insane seeing my blood drip from the knife and not being able to do anything but laugh. That was all I could do until I breathed my last breath.
2020starwarsmarvel
knox_darkness

Creator

Trigger warning: mental health suicide and death of a main character

#transgender #mental_health #death

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To Die Laughing
To Die Laughing

1.7k views7 subscribers

Life after death . . . always an interesting subject. After Kit Krieger a trans guy commits suicide he finds out that everything he was ever taught about the afterlife was wrong. Follow Kit and new friends Dagon Kalua and Lenore Drakos as they go on adventures to possibly save the world from God and Kit's ex-best friend Bexley Lewis.
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12 episodes

  • Chapter 1 Part 1: That a man must laugh or die (and general notice)
    Episode 1 Chapter 1 Part 1: That a man must laugh or die (and general notice)
  • Chapter 1 Part 2: That a Man Must Laugh or Die
    Episode 2 Chapter 1 Part 2: That a Man Must Laugh or Die
  • Chapter 2: Even in the Grave All is Not Lost
    Episode 3 Chapter 2: Even in the Grave All is Not Lost
  • Chapter 3: All That We See or Seem is but a Dream Within a Dream
    Episode 4 Chapter 3: All That We See or Seem is but a Dream Within a Dream
  • Chapter 4: The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague.
    Episode 5 Chapter 4: The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague.
  • Chapter 5: I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
    Episode 6 Chapter 5: I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
  • Chapter 6: Part 1: Years of love have been forgot in the hatred of a minute.
    Episode 7 Chapter 6: Part 1: Years of love have been forgot in the hatred of a minute.
  • Chapter 6: Part 2: Years of love have been forgotten in the hatred of a minute
    Episode 8 Chapter 6: Part 2: Years of love have been forgotten in the hatred of a minute
  • Chapter 7: Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality
    Episode 9 Chapter 7: Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality
  • Chapter 8: Today I wear these chains, and am here.  Tomorrow I shall be fearless!  - But where?
    Episode 10 Chapter 8: Today I wear these chains, and am here. Tomorrow I shall be fearless! - But where?
  • Chapter 9: Part 1: Every poem should remind the reader that they are going to die
    Episode 11 Chapter 9: Part 1: Every poem should remind the reader that they are going to die
  • Chapter 9: Part 2: "Every poem should remind the reader that they are going to die"
    Episode 12 Chapter 9: Part 2: "Every poem should remind the reader that they are going to die"
Ep. 2 Chapter 1 Part 2: That a Man Must Laugh or Die

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Chapter 1 Part 2: That a Man Must Laugh or Die

Chapter 1 Part 2: That a Man Must Laugh or Die

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