Chapter 17: Emotional

The next few weeks I avoid any contact with Tony as much as possible. I always have a reason not to meet up with him during the weekends. I know its unfair and childish for me to do that to him but I cant just face him now when that damn wet dream is still fresh on my mind. It’s Friday evening today and everyone has left the office. I stare at the message from Tony asking if everything is okay with me and if I want to hang out with him after his gym session the next day. I sigh loudly. Fuck!! This can’t continue for heaven’s sake!! stupid dream!! I really want to spend some time with him but every time I see him in the office I get nervous and can’t think straight. I type in the same excuse I always tell him that I can’t make it to see him and instead decide to go to some club to release some tension and maybe get a girl for the night to calm me down. But for today I am beat, I pick my keys and drive home to my cats. Next day, I go for my morning run as usual. I feel much calmer now . I decide to order some lunch once I get back. Kaylah has been busy these last days, I hardly see her anymore. It seems she has things she is dealing with , when she is ready she knows where to find me if she needs to talk about it. For now I need to find a way to get things to go back to the way they used to between Tony and I. The rest of the afternoon goes in a blur and soon its nightfall and I prepare to go to my favorite club.

I take an uber considering I’ll be drunk to go back on my own. The music is playing soo loud by the time I get inside. I look around, I like this club since its modest and high class. I get comfortable at the VIP before I call the waiter to get my order. A few girls approach me to offer some company. I observe them before telling the waiter to get them what they want. Surprised by my generosity, they cozy up to me in no time trying to seduce and impress me. Its nauseating how hard they are trying but I don’t send them away. This is my chance to have fun and try to get Tony off my mind. After a few drinks and a few talks , one of the girl move to sit on my laps while the two on my sides encourages me to drink more. Now fully drunk, I turn to the girl on my lap and make out with her for a few minutes. When I break it up, I grab her by the neck and look at her closely, suddenly her face turns to that of Tony and I get heated up when she licks her lips. I groan before smashing my lips on her again.

Suddenly, the room starts spinning, I try to talk but I sound gibberish before slumping back on the couch and blacking out.

Since I am a regular here, the waiter quickly notices this and hurries towards me. He asks the ladies to leave me much to their dismay. He then tries to wake me up to no vain. I want to see Tony and apologize for being a douche bag. That’s the only thought running through my mind before completely blacking out. After what feels like hours I open my eyes and find myself in a taxi. Did the bartender call a taxi for me? I wonder as I try to stretch my now numb body. “I see you are awake, hey buddy,how are you feeling? A deep voice speaks next to me. I don’t need to turn to see the owner of this voice. From the way my heart is pounding in my chest I know who it is. I can’t quite figure how he is with me here though and I don’t have the guts to ask him after ignoring him for a month.

“you know, if you have an issue with me, you can always tell me. I know I can be an annoying goofball, but you are my friend and it bugs me when you avoid me like this. You even came to the club alone and didn’t call me. I’m a little hurt and jealous right now.” Tony whispers next to me. My heart breaks to hear his hurtful words. I turn to look at those eyes that I’ve come to adore soo much and feel my chest swell up with tears. I open my mouth to say something when I feel something roll down on my face. I touch my face and realize that I am actually crying. For the first time in my life I can’t control this sudden urge to just bawl my eyes out. Worried, Tony holds me and lays my head on his shoulder. He doesn’t say anything which is comforting enough. He rubs my head gently trying to calm me down. I don’t know why I am crying or what emotion I am feeling. All I feel is the feeling to let the tension out of my body. I cry for sometime before falling asleep in Tony’s arms.

I don’t remember reaching home or how Tony carried me inside. When I open my eyes again, I find myself in pajamas with my cats besides me on the bed. Tony is nowhere to be found in the bedroom. I sigh and smile sadly. Of course he left. Why would he stay with me, I am his boss, we are not that close. I go to move when I hear some footsteps approaching.

“I hope you don’t mind me borrowing these pajamas, hehe I’ve worn them a few times so I’d likely say they are mine by now” I turn to see Tony with a glass of warm water. “You need to hydrate, let me help you up” He sits me up and I take a few sips. I thought he had left, suddenly my heart feels heavy again and more tears starts to swell up in my eyes. What is wrong with me today? Why do I feel soo emotional? I turn to Tony who is watching me closely clearly worried but not sure whether he should pry and ask.

“I’m sorry for ghosting you these few weeks, I needed some time to myself to think. You did not do anything wrong and no, I do not hate you” I look at him and smile gently. How could I hate this man sitting besides me. He has made me feel all kinds of emotions I never knew I had in me. I know I should not have any hopes of him ever liking me more than a friend but I am more than happy to have him in my life nevertheless. He goes to stand and I reach out for his hand.

“stay….please sta...please stay with me for the night...i don’t want to be alone tonight.” My heart breaks even more and I feel my face heat up. This is embarrassing, I am better than this. I feel myself getting angry. “never mind, it’s quite late, you probably have better stuffs to do tomorrow, you can go , I’ll be fine I promise” I move to stand when I feel his arms pins me back to the bed. Surprised I look up to see him on top of me watching me. Time seems to not move and I hold my breath for fear I might ruin the moment. His hand goes to touch my face then stops and he sits up abruptly.

“You asked me to stay so I am staying. Besides, I was already planning to sleep over way before you asked me. I even changed to my pajamas and brushed my teeth.”He laughs it off and even I can see a small blush on his face. He gets into the covers next to me and goes to switch the lights off. I smile softly in the dark and fall asleep.

I wake up in the middle of the night to find myself being cuddled by Tony. His breathing is calm and soft next to my ears. I need to go to the bathroom but at the same time I want to stay like this- being held by him. After a few moments my bladder wins and I pry myself off from his arms and head to the bathroom. While at it, I decide to brush my teeth too and then go back to the bed. The moment I am settled in, I feel Tony reach out and grab me and pulls me back to his embrace. My heart skips a bit and I get a warm sensation on my body. Oh how I would like for this moment to last for the rest of our lives. But for now, I am more than happy to be like this with the man I love. I hold him close as I drift off to sleep.

I feel someone licking my face. “mmmhhh stop it Tony...it’s ticklish hahaha...mmmhhh Tony” I groan and suddenly jumps up scared that he might have heard what I just said. I find Peachy on top of me and Tony nowhere to be seen. Was I dreaming last night? I could have sworn Tony spent the night with me last night. I thought we had grown a little closer after last night. Did he leave yet? I go to stand up, when I am hit with a sudden pain in my head. Ow!! Fuck!! I’m never drinking that much alcohol again! I swear to myself.

With difficulty, I drag my legs to the kitchen to see Tony in an apron baking some muffins. My whole body feels heavy and hot. I go to grab the kitchen chairs and miss. I close my eyes anticipating the painful fall but instead feel a warm yet hard surface support me. I turn to see Tony next to me in an instant. “whoa whoa, let’s get you back to bed shall we?” I try to argue but feel too weak to do anything so we head back to the bedroom. After making sure I am settled in, he brings me some hangover pills and water . He goes to feel my temperature and finds out I’m burning with fever. “Oh heavens ! Seo-Jun, you are burning up!! We need to get you to the hospital!” He goes to get his phone when I stop him. “Relax Tony, I don’t feel sick, I bet with a few hours rest and some pills I’ll be back feeling healthy as ever but since i know how stubborn you are, I’ll call my doctor to come and check up on me, deal?” He agrees and waits patiently for me to retrieve my phone and call my doctor.

He goes back to the kitchen to finish up baking when doctor Mike gets here. Doctor Mike has been my doctor for soo many years. I’ve met his lovely wife Jane and his two children. After some introductions, he goes ahead and administers some tests on me. Tony waits patiently and keeps looking at me every second. It’s obvious he is worried sick about me which feels me up with joy inside.

Doctor Mike then calls him to the bedroom where I am. “Alright, I have prescribed some medicine for your fever, it appears you have been neglecting yourself these couple of weeks. I want you to stay at home and rest for a couple of weeks and eat healthy...Tony...is it? Will you look after this stubborn man for me please?” Tony takes the prescription from him. “I promise to look after him doc, he is not going to work I assure you” They both then turn to look at me as if realizing that I am there for the first time. I shake my head. “ will you two quit fussing, I feel fine, it’s probably the hangover, a good sleep will do the trick.” I move to sit up when I am hit with a sudden dizziness. Tony holds me down and looks at me firmly. “You can barely keep your head straight, you are going to stay at home and I am going to look after you. It’s not up to discussion Seo-Jun, okay?”

Embarrassed, I nod my head. If Tony is going to stay with me then the whole idea doesn’t seem too bad. I think to myself. I look up to see an amused look on the doctor’s face. I can’t really blame him. I am a completely different person when Tony is involved. He smiles at Tony and extends his hand to him. “Hold on to this one for me Tony, I’ve known him for many years. He is a sweet young man, even though he can be annoying and strict sometimes, he is gentle and the kindest person I’ve ever met, please look after him for me. I leave him in your good hands” Tony wholeheartedly agrees and promises never to leave my side ever. To say I am embarrassed is an understatement. I can’t tell if its the fever or the fact that Tony has agreed to stay besides me forever, making it sound like it’s a vow. The doctor leaves satisfied that I am in capable hands.

Tony then leaves shortly after to go buy the medicine and I decide to take another nap.