“Huh?”

When he woke up, he was laying on a table in the middle of the entrance room before the great library. Beside him sat Cloud, sipping on another cup of tea and looking bitter like something bad had happened.

"Yo."

He tried getting up but Cloud signaled to him to stay down.

She gave him a bitter smile.

"Lay down please, you are hurt badly."

"I'm not, Cloud, Meno-!"

He tried telling her about what had happened in the cave in The Gray Lands, and about Meno’s sacrifice. But she just gestured for him to stay calm.

"Let’s have a little talk shall we?"

"Wha-"

The sudden change in the air threw him off as she asked, not determined that they were going to talk with one another. Her demeanor made him uncertain of what had happened.

Han was sure that she hadn’t known about Meno dying, this was because she couldn’t have. What was it that she wanted to talk to him about then? And was he in the right place? Why was she acting so weirdly toward him?

Had she already guessed what had happened or was she going to question him about it then and there?

“I know of what happened, Han. And I'm now sure of who you are.”

“What-?”

He assumed that she meant Meno, but what did she mean when she said that she now knew who Han was?

And how did she know of Meno's death already? She hadn't been there, he had, and he was the only one who saw Meno die. She couldn't have known.

"We have a lot of things to discuss, Han." She said in a serious tone.

"W-what do you mean?"

Cloud looked at him seriously and took a deep breath.

"I've sent my loyalty to retrieve his body."

With her loyalty, she meant Cloudia had gone to retrieve her cat’s dead body. But, how would she know of this?

Was it because only he had returned? Or because someone had told her? But again, who? Had he told her while unconscious? He had to know.

"You sent Cloudia to what?!"

"Retrieve Meno's body." She said.

"But how? How did you know?"

How could she possibly have any idea of what might have happened back there, and how did she know where to send Cloudia to?

"Because of this." She said and reached behind her.

She took an object from the table behind her, a round crystal ball. Glimmering in the light of the candles floating on the clouds around them.

"What is that?" He asked because it looked like a big, glass, bowling ball.

"It's a special magic sphere that tells me what you are currently doing. It is called a nowteller. It's one of few."

"Like a fortune teller?"

"Yeah, but I can see what you two are doing the moment you are doing it."

Han stared at the crystal ball. What powers may be hidden behind its mirroring glass? And how could it be used for that purpose? To watch over a specific person? But then he realized.

“Was that what the pink ribbon was for?”

Cloud nodded.

It had only been a quick guess from his, without any argument to build it up. It was simply a fool's guess.

But this did explain why Meno had had the strange pink ribbon around his neck when they had first met.

He thought back to the cave. He hadn’t seen the pink ribbon after Meno’s death. He didn't know what had happened to it, but if it still worked after the person who was wearing it had been lost, then who had she seen after Meno's death? The only one left had been him, and if she hadn’t been watching Meno, then…

"Wha-! I-! Cloud-!"

"Yes. I saw you, I saw both of you, Han."

So she had seen him, she had seen both of them, die.

"I- died..."

Cloud nodded, not to agree with him but to confirm it.

"I know. I saw you."

This confirmed his suspicions. She had seen him die.

He had died, so why was he here?

He looked at her, he felt so, empty.

She stared back with a saddened look.

"I know, Han. I saw you. You both died, and I saw it but I couldn’t stop it. I tried sending my loyalty out but the cave was blocked so I had to wait until it reset."

"How.. why..."

“The Gray Lands reset after one turn of the eye that circles it. His eye, The Inheritors.” She explained to him. Maybe to calm him down, maybe to calm herself down.

She sighed and looked down, then up at him with serious eyes.

“The eye exists so that he will know if anyone intrudes even when he isn’t there, and when you are caught, he will let them loose.”

“What loose?”

“The Waonderers that envelope the place when it is at its darkest. They love the dark because it is all that they’ve seen.”

“...”

“They don’t guard it, and they hate The Inheritor. But the thing is, he hates them even more. To the point he is gathering the one thing that can defeat them in The Castle of Motions in the center of The Gray Lands.”

Why was she explaining this to him? Why should he get to know this after he had died?!

“Why are you telling me this?!”

“Because Han…”

She looked up at him.

“You can die.”

"This is your ability."

Han had died.

Death had taken his pour soul. And yet here he was, talking to Cloud like it was nothing. No. He felt something was wrong. Not with her, but with him.

His ability?

It was to die?

"Your ability, Han. Is to reset back in The Gray Rooms where you came from after you died. An Eternal Return. A wish granted you this power, to never let your soul find peace. An infinite respawn only to be met by death."

“You can die, over and over. But you won’t fully die, never, ever.”

It was an ability to return. An Eternal Return. Reset back to the same state from when he had just arrived in that world.

Did this mean immortality?

He could die forever.

“Am I.. immortal?”

"No."

"Then-!"

"Immortality is the ability to live forever. However. Your ability, Eternal Return, is a curse. A curse that is binding you to this very world, not by giving you infinite life, but by resetting it."

What did this mean?

He wasn't immortal, and yet he couldn't die?

No, that wasn't it.

He did die, he had died. And yet, he had come back, appearing in the gray rooms just like when he had arrived in that world. He had reset, returned to a past version of himself, and therefore, he wasn't immortal, but a man on his second try on his first life. Like a videogame character getting a checkpoint before going on with the story.

An Eternal Return...

"Does that mean-! That I can use this ability again?!"

Cloud nodded.

"An 'Eternal Return', living your own life over and over. You are an infinite being with only a beginning, never to meet your end. What you choose to do with this ability is what I wanted to talk with you about."

But Han had stopped listening.

Was this only one death out of many? Was he going to keep dying like this forever?

"I- how- is this possible?"

"Your dearest wish is granted before you enter this world, so you will have enjoyed life when you leave it."

"How can someone enjoy death?!"

"I do not know who you were before entering this world, Han. But I know what you can be."

Han froze.

Who had he been before this world?

What version of him was so in love with death that they wished to never stop dying?

What kind of freak had he been in his past life?

Fear enveloped him, fear of the world, fear of his power, and fear of himself.

What could he become with this power? Why had he been given it? Why would someone want death more than once?

He had died a gruesome death. He had been murdered by beasts too strong for anyone to destroy. Meno had died. Meno, whose body was currently being retrieved from that cave of horrors back in The Gray Lands. But hadn't his body been mashed already? Hadn't Meno's bones been broken, his body squashed under the pressure of those evil nightmarish fists of doom?

"What... is my purpose?"

He was exhausted. He didn't want to think, didn't want to worry about the future.

If he were to die again, how sane would he be?

How sane could a person stay after getting to know that they didn't belong in a world where other people who were alive, lived?

"Your power is death, your strength is your humanity, your purpose, you decide." Someone told him. It could've been Cloud, but, he couldn't see anymore.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he bawled.

He didn't want to die again, not like that. Not here, not now, not ever.

He missed a world he had never seen, he missed life outside this world. He was a lost little boy in a world where his only power was to reset his body back to its original state.

As he cried, the rainbow door opened and Cloudia walked in with Meno's body in her arms.

It wasn't bloody. It wasn't smashed. Heck, it wasn't even destroyed.

Meno looked just like any sleeping cat should, with no body part missing or any bones broken at all.

Cloud helped Cloudia lay Meno on the table Han had jumped down from, resting Meno's limp body on it while Han just cried.

Meno had died. He had fucking died.

No matter who it was, they had died. No matter what the intention of that person had been, that person had died. And what remained was a still corpse empty of life, without a single sign of the person ever being alive.

And then, he heard a voice that he had never heard.

"Whatchya bawling yar eyes out for?"

"M-Meno?!"

"The one and only, gray boy. How have ya been?"

He turned his head around, staring into the white eyes of the black cat that was sitting on the table, yawning in displeasure.

"Y-you are alive!"

"Yeh, as ya can see. I'm very much alive. Can't say the same for ya."

"I'm alive! But, how? How are you alive? Your body was smashed to bits! I saw it with my own eyes!"

The black cat had died, he was sure of it. He had been there when the dark monster had obliterated him. So how was he alive? He didn't have the same ability as Han, did he?

"Sorry about that. My ability can't stop meh from getting murdered by those things, unfortunately."

"How? Why? What the hell is going on?!"

Meno laughed and turned his eyes to Cloud, who hadn't even fallen a tear.

She didn't seem surprised that her dead cat was chatting and laughing like he hadn't been murdered a moment before.

"Well, ya mind telling little grayie over here?"

"No way, your ability, your conversation!"

"Sigh. Fine."

Meno laid his white eyes on Han once more but was suddenly embraced by him.

"What the! What the hell are ya doing, gray boy!"

"I-I'm sorry... Last time I saw you, you were in pieces..."

"Yeah, yeah. Mind stop describing to me what my massacred body looked like?"

"S-sorry..."

Meno sighed as Han pulled away from embracing him.

Han couldn't help it. The fact that the cat had 'died' for him had made him emotional, and when seeing him back on his feet like nothing had happened, he felt so happy all of a sudden.

"So. My ability then..." Meno started.

"It is to be given a chance again."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I am given an offer, that either I die, or I come back to life."

"Y-you can do that? Can I?!"

"No." Cloud simply said.

"Anyway. At first, I thought I only had nine lives, like all cats do. But when I died for the tenth time, I realized that it was impossible for meh to die. Except if I accept death of course."

"That... is weird... Do you know what your wish was?"

"No idea. But probably something involving the things I just mentioned. Don't know why I wanted to live so much in this world, but that was the ability I got."

It was clear to Han that death seemed to play a big part in both of their lives.

Meno had the power to choose to die, but Han didn't.

But that didn't mean that that was the only choice they had.

"Is there... any way to know what your wish was?"

"Not in this place," Cloud said.

"Not here, not now."

But this only strengthened his curiosity.

"What are ya thinking, grayie?"

"I want to know. I want to know why this happened."

"Well, if you wanna start somewhere, then going back to The Gray Lands would be a good idea."

"What?!"

Going back to that gray world would be the same as suicide. If that being found them again, it would be over and they would have to taste the disgusting drink of death for the second time.

"It is safe when the eye has made a rotation. The world reset for every rotation of the eye and when the world is light again, no Waonderers will want to be there."

"I see... But how do we know that The eye is still working? Didn't we see someone get demolished by that Waonderer? That could've been The Inheritor, right?"

"No way it was. The Inheritor is way too strong for only one Waonderer to defeat!" Meno said confidently.

"I guess you are right," Han said.

But he didn't want to die again, not like that.

If there still was a chance of them suffering because of it, he didn't want any of it.

Cloud saw what emotions Han felt and sighed.

"Loyalty?"

Cloudia nodded and stepped forward, placing something on the table that Meno was laying on top of.

"Is that..?"

"That's mah blade! Thanks, loyalty!"

Meno took the blade into his paws, stroking the fine blade.

"Now, give it over to Han."

"What?! No way! Why?!" Meno screeched.

Meno and Han both stared at her in shock.

Why did she say that?

Han didn't want a blade.

For what reason was she making Meno give his blade to Han?

"If Han feels unsafe going to The Gray Lands, then you should borrow him your blade. Just for now." Cloud explained.

Meno looked down at his blade, conflicted about what to do. But after thinking for a while he sighed and looked up.

"If ya feel safer with it, then I will let ya borrow it, alright, grayie?"

Han was surprised at his sudden change of attitude.

He didn't know why Meno was letting him borrow his dagger, nor did he know why his attitude toward him had completely changed.

But he was happy that the black cat was giving him a chance to feel safer.

Carefully, Han took the dagger that Meno held forth and looked at it.

It was a completely dark blade. A short one, fitting Meno's size so that he would be able to use it. But once it was put in his hand, he felt like it didn't belong to Meno anymore.

It didn't change in shape or size, but the aura around it changed.

Meno must have noticed it too because he quickly said.

"Just..! Be careful with it, will ya?"

Han nodded.

"Thank you..."

Cloud watched both of them exchange words and then she sighed.

"Meno, you are staying behind, you must still be weak after regenerating your body parts, right?"

"Yeh, it's difficult to do such a thing, if ya can imagine?"

"Loyalty, mind following Han?" Cloud asked.

Stupid, thought Han. She is already a part of you of course she will accept.

And much to nobody's surprise, Loyalty, or Cloudia, stepped forward, nodding towards herself.

"I'm sure it is a light day today," Cloud said, looking toward the door.

"Be sure to be back, in one piece that is."

"Stop scaring me like that!" Han exclaimed. He still remembered getting his stomach ransacked by that beast in the cave.

But this time would be different. He had Cloudia, another person he trusted, with him. And he had the mysterious dagger Meno had had. Though this time, it didn't shine.

"Are you ready, sir Han?"

"Yes," Han answered.

No, but I guess I'll have to do this to continue forward. Was what he thought, but it was a necessary thing to do to accomplish his goal of getting back to his world. A world he didn't know anything about, but a world he missed for some reason. That was what drove him to continue, even after dying. He would uncover his background and he would go back to the home he had left.

"Let's go! Again!"