I'd decided that I was going to confront Damien about all Giordan had said that night. To set the scores straight and put him in his place. You could say I was shamelessly being extra after he'd saved me back at the restaurant, but if you look at things unbiased, you'd see that everything was Damien's fault. One way or the other.
I waited for him till it was nine in the evening. The normal closing time of the local library was six, so I expected him back at seven but he never came.
By eleven I was already panicking. It wasn't his normal way to wander off without telling someone, and I knew that things were strained between us but still. I couldn't help the sinking feeling that washed over me. I was worried about his safety now, more than ever. Thankfully, just a little before midnight, his footsteps on the stairway jolted me from my half-slumber. I sat still in the darkness, glad when I heard his bedroom door knob turn.
At least, he was home.
About a minute later, came the sound of his door crashing open and a belt slashing through the air.
“You son of a wimp, you've been drinking when I asked you not to!” I squirmed when the leather landed, eyes widening when I heard Damien groan.
“You have no right to hit me!”
“And you have no right to behave badly. At this very hour you come home reeking of alcohol and expect me to be cool with it?”
“Take a chill pill, old man.” Damien slurred. I rushed up at that and plastered my ear to the wall.
“Boy, how proud you keep making me every single day. First you start a fight at the restaurant with your lover and humiliate me in front of the entire town, and tonight you have the guts to step foot into my house at odd hours, drunk? Well, when I'm done with you, you're gonna wish you'd never came home. I've had enough of your attitude. The main reason you're here is so I can correct those areas where your mother failed in.”
“Really? So how do you intend doing that? By hitting me with a belt? That's the only effective corrective measure you read about? Well then, come on pops. Hit me. I'm so ready for it.”
There was a tense pause before Flynn spoke up again. “Fine. I suppose we can resolve this, man to man.” The belt plopped on the hardwood floor. “I'm not gonna hit you anymore.”
“Right... you're not gonna hit me but blame and hate me for every single thing. Like you always have. Sometimes I wish you'd just disappear from the face of this fucking earth. Then I can have my peace. Won't it be good if I didn't live under the same roof with you?”
“All I'm doing is for your own good.” Flynn said coldly, not missing a beat. “And someday you're gonna thank me for it.”
“I don't need you doing favours for me.”
“Well then, since you've chosen to be unreasonable, I'm not paying your fees for college. You're gonna be in charge of yourself from now on henceforth, since you want me to leave you the fuck alone. I'm cutting you off, and taking the money I saved up for your education and giving it to Timothy. I trust he'd make better use of it.”
Oh Jesus.
Flynn continued. “I'm not wasting my money on some stuck-up who wants to read books all day and become a librarian. If you decide you want to have a real career someday, one that'd elevate your financial status then talk to me. Until then, I'm not spending a dime on your sorry arse.”
“Well, we both know that you never intended to pay for my college in the first place. Stop making it seem like I'm the ungrateful one, while you're just a cruel human.”
“Why would I want to invest in someone who's been a glaring disappointment to me since the day he was born? Honestly, I should have let your mother end your life from the womb.”
“Wow father. Just wow. From the womb, that's where it all started. I never even stood a fucking chance...and this means...this means you were the one who actually drove Mom away, not the other way around. You'd both decided not to have me from day one.”
“That's a fucking lie, Damien. Did she tell you that?”
“Even if she didn't tell me, it's obvious. That's why you've been belittling me with your hurtful words my entire life to make up for it. You're just playing the perfect father role. But inside you're nothing but a demon.”
My heart was breaking. This was so familiar.
“If I didn't want you in the first place then why did I bring you here? Why didn't I let you die with your bad habits and miserable mother?”
I gasped in horror. No, no. He'd crossed a line. I couldn't listen to this anymore. I bolted into the next room and found Damien sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, sobbing quietly. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes wafting off him was sickening. His back was rising and falling with the heavy breath that escaped him.
The scene broke my heart.
“Flynn stop, stop saying such terrible words!” My stepfather stood there, with his arms crossed, looking up at me blankly. In that moment I saw no difference between him and my real father. They were the same. Monsters. “He's your son. Your blood! I don't see how anything is his fault and you really need to give him some air. Maybe you feel he deserves it for something he did, but nothing could ever justify talking to your son like that.”
“Timothy, my boy. You don't understand our history. This child — ”
“I don't need to understand anything to know that the words you said tonight could hurt even the hardest of hearts. Honestly, I expected more from you. I looked up to you, thinking you'd be different from my own father. But turns out I was wrong. You both have the same ugly heart and I'm not gonna sit back and watch you abuse my brother like that.”
Neither of them said anything. The room was silent. Damien was no longer breathing hard anymore, and I was relieved a bit.
“You need to leave.” I ordered Flynn.
“Timothy...”
“Leave!” I screamed at him. He shook his head and exited.
I rushed downstairs and retrieved a bottle of water which I handed to Damien. “Here, drink this.”
I watched his Adam's apple bob as he gulped it down, then crushed the plastic can and threw it aside. He kept slurring his words and muttering something I couldn't understand.
I stood up and pulled the blankets down. “Lie down.”
He took his shoes off and crawled over to the pillow. He lay on his stomach and closed his eyes.
I sat at the side of the bed, still dazed by all I'd discovered tonight. I felt so bad for Damien and utterly ashamed of Flynn. I knew right then that even though Mother didn't want anything to do with their squabble, she had to step in before things got out of hand.
Damien was fast asleep now. He looked so innocent and I finally understood the reason for the constant anger he normally exhibited. Without his mean scowl and cruel smirk, it was easier to see past his harsh exterior in order to catch a glimpse of the boy hiding beneath — one who'd been scarred by the stranger married to my mother.
A teardrop dropped from my eyes as I adjusted his blankets and left the room.
Back in my own bed, I thought about how the same person who'd done nothing but push me away and make me annoyed was the one person I felt like I wanted to protect. Life was so pretty damn ironic.
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