My Dad was my best friend, and I knew I was his. He had other friends – most of which were married to either his sisters or Mom’s sisters, but it was different with the two of us. 

Mostly.

I don’t think he, or anyone else, suspected anything.

I couldn’t get married yet because I wasn’t registered, so it was kind of just this unspoken thing that I didn’t lead any girls on to prevent their relatives to inquire about me, but…

I wondered. I talked about guys way more than I did girls, I mean, I didn’t ever talk about girls, pretty much. It was just guys I liked hanging out with, or guys I wished didn’t think I was a little asshole, or guys I wished invited me to their parties.

So maybe he did know.

Which is why I was caught off guard when Dad asked what I thought about the girl working at mom’s store.

“She’s cute – her dad is a doctor and has helped out your mom a bunch of times,” He said casually as we walked down the street outside mom’s store. “I know your Aunts have been talking you up to her, and she mentioned she’d love it if you invited her to come visit you in the city!”

“Uh, I’m not really interested in girls, dad.” I said quietly, feeling nervous as Dad laughed.

“Yeah...I guess you’ve always been much more into widows finding love in unexpected places.” He chuckled, adding “That was such a great series you wrote, I’d still shocked that Mrs. Auburntree ended up with her horse trainer – what!?” He laughed. “But seriously, I completely support you marrying an older woman. You’d be a great step-dad!”

I hesitated as we turned onto the street the Mayor’s building was on, scratching the back of my neck. Fuck, he was in a good mood, so maybe we’d be okay. I mean, we were on the subject of dating and stuff, and I figured it would be best if he knew so we could, like, be fully informed here?

“No, dad, I mean...I mean I’m not interested in women either.” I said with an uneasy laugh. Dad looked to me then as we walked, frowning at me. “I don’t like girls, dad,” I said firmly, “I don’t like women at all.”

Dad gave a short laugh, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked away from me. “That’s not funny, Ren.” Dad said, “Don’t say that. People won’t understand you’re joking.”

“I’m not joking, though.” I swallowed thickly and dropped my gaze to the sidewalk as I stopped between the bread store and the butcher’s. “I’m not into women.” I said as Dad stopped as well, “I just don’t have any interest toward them, I never have. It’s always been just guys-”

He suddenly grabbed the front of my shirt and I looked to him to see a wild look in his eyes. My stomach dropped as he walked me backward off the side walk fast, slamming my back against the side of the butcher’s shop, giving me a shake. “Don’t say that!” He hissed, a furious look on his face, “Don’t EVER say that!” He said in a hurry right by my face.

I panicked as he gave me another short jerk on my shirt, slamming me back against the wall as his face crumbled.

“Do you know what would happen if they took you?!” He whispered in a hurry, his eyes welling up with tears. “I’d DIE, Ren!” His voice broke. “I lost Laurie, and I lost Joy, I lost your baby brother and – losing you would kill your mother, and I’d DIE.” He griping my shirt harder shaking me as he started to cry, and I started to cry as well because I had made him cry, and I knew I had fucked up.

I had said something stupid without thinking – again – and I had badly hurt my Dad.

“Don’t EVER, EVER say that again!” He hissed, “Never!”

I didn’t know what to say so I just shook my head, Dad pulling me away from the wall to slam me back against it again.

“PROMISE ME.” He demanded as he cried, “Promise me!”

“I promise!” I croaked, reaching up to hold onto his wrists. “I’m sorry!”

He sobbed as he leaned his forehead against my shoulder and I cried as well, regretting having said anything.

My initial instinct when I realized I was attracted to men was to just ignore it and marry a girl anyway because they’d take me away like my uncle, and I should have listened to my gut.

Dad suddenly released me, spitting on the ground before he held a hand to his face, his body shaking as he leaned back against the opposite wall of the ally, breathing slow. He his hand dropped ad I saw his face was blotchy and tear stricken, his eyes wide as I had ever seen them as he stared at the floor for a long minute.

Slowly looked across the street at the mayor’s building. His face turned to stone as tears dripped off his jaw and I knew what he was going to do before he suddenly started storming out of the alley and toward the building fast.

He was going to beat the shit out the Mayor and blame him for yelling at me, Dad convinced that he had turned in my Uncle Laurie.

I knew he’d blame being angry at me on the mayor as well, because I don’t think my Dad otherwise would have cared.

“Fuck!” I hissed, pushing off from the building to run after my Dad. I called for him as I near but he ignored me, running up the stairs to the building two at a time, throwing open the door and racing up the stairs, past where Regina had been coming into the foyer with a tray of tea I’m sure was for us and our appointment. Her smile fell as I raced by her as well after my Dad, Dad bursting into the Mayor’s office.

I panicked and turned to close and lock the door as I heard the Mayor say something, quickly cut off by my Dad screaming at him.

“YOU FUCKING TURNED IN MY BROTHER AND MAKE ME SCARE MY SON!” Dad screamed as I watched in horror as he fully jumped on the Mayor’s desk and went to tackle him.

I watched the Mayor side step and reach behind my dad to use his momentum against him, my dad slamming face first into the wall behind the desk.

“Are you drunk?! The mayor demanded, looking to me as he left my Dad’s crumbled form behind his desk to hurry around the side of it, moving fast for a man older than my Grandpa who wasn’t really in shape anymore. He looked to me then with a frown and a startled look, “What did your Mama make him drink this time?!”

“Fuck,’ I said under my breath as I scrambled around the desk to where Dad was getting back to his feet, his nose bleeding as he once again jumped on the desk, knocking everything off of it as he tried to tackle the Mayor.

The door the office opened and in came the Mayor’s two sons – Jessie and Peter – hurrying over to grab my Dad when he tried to scramble after the Mayor.

I grimaced and saw Regina pulled the door closed with a reserved look and I reached up to grab onto my hair as my Dad was pinned down to the desk.

“Did I just hear you say I turned your brother in?” The Mayor asked with wide eyes and a tone like someone was about to get slapped.

“YOU DID!” My Dad screamed back at him as Peter kept him pinned, Jessie stepping back to smooth down his button down shirt.

“Let him go,” The mayor snapped then, “Wouldn’t feel right to punch a pinned man,” He said loudly as his son’s lip curled. But Peter pulled back and my Dad quickly stood, and I came closer so I could grab him if he tried anything. “I don’t know how to get this through you thick head, but I loved that boy – I had wanted him to marry my daughter! I wanted to have him as part of my family, even if that meant getting YOU as part of that!” The Mayor screamed, pointed to the door. “They couldn’t torture that out of me if they wanted to, so I am one of the last people that you should be blaming for Lawrence being taken!”

“Bullshit!” Dad screamed back. “You turned him in for being a homosexual RIGHT AFTER HE SAID IT FOR THE FIRST FUCKING TIME! That’s not a coincidence, you fuck!”

“I wouldn’t have turned your brother in for that, Roy! Two of my kids are homosexual, for God’s sake! You know that!” The mayor growled, I stilled at that, looking to Peter to see him giving me an annoyed look. I looked to Jessie and he shrugged. I looked wildly back to the Mayor before I looked to Dad to see him sitting down heavily in one of the two chairs in front of the mayor’s big desk with with a funny look on his face.

I carefully sat down next to him, rubbing my palms against my jeans as Dad rubbed at his face, his eyes still wide as he seemed to be thinking.

“And when have I ever called for help outside of our town?” The Mayor demanded. “If there is anything going on here, I deal with it. I don’t need anyone telling me how to handle my villagers.” He snapped.

Dad seemed stumped but confused and frustrated at that, because he knew as well as I did that the mayor didn’t lie. He was stubborn, but not a liar, and neither was Peter. I looked back to Peter then, looking him over. When I met his eyes he gave me a stony look and I slowly looked back to the Mayor as my Dad leaned forward in his seat.

The mayor looked between my and my Dad then. “Now what in God’s name is this all about?”

“If you didn’t turn in my brother, then who the FUCK do I blame for my brother being gone?” Dad shouted then, looking as wild as he had when he dragged me into the alleyway. “Who the FUCK TURNING IN MY BROTHER!?”

The Mayor stared at him in silence for a long minute before he said very quietly, “Not you-”

“Obviously.” Dad snapped.

“-Not your father.” The Mayor stressed.

“OBVIOUSLY.”

“And not Little Lawrence,” The Mayor said, jerking his chin toward me but keeping his gaze on Dad.

“So who else is there?”

“Who else was there, Roy?” He said in a deathly low tones, holding my Dad’s gaze.

Dad jerked as I suck lower in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. “How dare you.” Dad said as he shook his head, his face turning red again. “How dare you accuse our ancestor of turning in his baby.”

“Laurie would not have been the first of his children he turned in, and he won’t be the last.” There was silence for a long minute before Dad suddenly dropped his face into his hands, his shoulder shaking. I panic and got out of my chair to hoover my hands over his back before the Mayor said in a loud, annoyed tone “Take a walk, Roy.” When Dad started to sob the Mayor said the same thing again, louder, harder, and Dad suddenly stood and stormed out of the office.

I went to follow Dad-

“Sit, Lawrence.” The Mayor said in his ‘you done fucked up’ tone. I looked to him to see he was staring at me, but he no longer looked furious. “You told him, didn’t you?”

“Told him what?” I sighed, rubbing my face as I slumped in my chair. When I looked back tot he mayor, he was staring blankly at me. “What?” I scowled. He just stared at me. My stomach dropped. “Oh, fuck me, how did you know?”

“Your not that slick, kid. I don’t know anyone in town that doesn’t know you like men.” He said blankly. “Your Dad has always had his head up his ass, so of course he wouldn’t know, but everyone else did.”

“What?!”

“Boy,” He sighed, shaking his head and giving a wave of his hand. “Let’s talk about how your going to get to the city and where you are staying – I have what you need right here.” He said in a calm, friendly tone before he turned to look around his desk, pausing before he frowned and pulled open the top drawer of his desk. I slowly sank down into my seat, rubbing the back of my neck as I stared at my lap.

Fuck, I really messed things up with my Dad.

And everyone knew I liked guys?

I know Mom said I could get stuck inside my own head and not realize things, but this is fucking insane.

I didn’t want to believe it, but also…

It wasn’t that surprising.

But two of The mayor’s kids were homosexual?

I wonder if it was Peter, who I had always been attracted to, and now maybe there was a chance?

I looked around before I saw Peter standing there in silence, staring forward with a stony look. “It’s not him, stop it.” The mayor said. I looked back to him to see he was setting a folder with ‘LITTLE LAWRENCE’ written in blue on the front. “Scoot over here and let’s take a look at what you need to know.

I did as I was told, pulling my chair forward to lean over to desk and watch as he took out what was in the folder.

There was a ticket for the train, but also all this paperwork for the apartment in the city that was rented for me, the agreement that I signed there to pay for the apartment if I was there longer than the initial time (which I had already told the mayor I planned on doing), and the paperwork for working at the lab I had already signed.

When we looked over everything, he closed the file and fastened the string over it to close it before handing it to me.

“Now, when your Uncle was here, I told him about a club in the city that

I nodded.

“That is not for you.” He said plainly. I frowned. “You are not like your Uncle. Your head is up your ass like your Dad has his head up his ass. I have already been working with your aunt to find you a nice girl-that-likes-girls to marry, and you will marry her, Lawrence.” He said firmly. My frown deepened but I nodded a little. “You will behave in the city, because the people in the city will not protect you like we will here in town. They don’t know you, and if you misbehave, they will turn you into the peacekeepers in an instant.”

The door opened to the office and I turned to see Dad come back over with a tired look, sitting down next to me. He starred at the mayor in silence with a look like he wanted to say something – though what exactly he wanted to say, I couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry.” He said finally, looking nervous before he looked at me, his face crumbling. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I said quietly, Dad shaking his head.

“It’s not, but I’m sorry.” He said in a small, quiet voice.

“I was just telling Ren that I’ve been working with your sister- yes,” The mayor said when Dad gave him a wild look, “Everyone in town could tell. We’re already working on it. They’ll lift the marriage pause in one year, and by then Ren will finally be registered. We’ll arrange for Ren to meet a girl, and have him married before the pause lifts.”

Dad nodded slowly, looking green as he lowered his gaze.

“Do not say anything about any of this to Big Blue – either of you.” He said in a hard tone, Dad sucking in a shuddered breath. “I’m not angry Roy, neither is your boy, so just calm down.” Dad covered his eyes with a hand as his lips trembled, and I reached out to him -”No, he needs to regulate his own emotions. Roy, go home to your mother. Your wife is crumble like a house of cards if she sees you like this.”

Dad nodded as he dropped away his hand, standing to reach out and shake the mayor’s hand with out meeting his eyes. I reached out and shook the mayor’s hand, patting the folder he had given me. When I turned to follow my Dad out of the room, I glanced toward Peter where he was staring forward with an unreadable look-

“No.” The mayor said quickly, and I looked to me Dad, fingering the folder in my grip.

As we came down the stairs, Regina was there and made my Dad drink a cup of tea, telling it would help him relax. All I could think about was that she and maybe everyone else in town knew about me, and Jesus fucking Christ, I was stupid.