I just met Nicholas. And he was already swinging me around in a bridal carry.

Like a weak puppy whimpering as it stood in front of a lion’s lair, I felt powerless. And hopeless as the thought of “he could kill me at any moment if I misbehaved.” flashed across my eyes and echoing in my ears, running from left to right. I tried to conceal my rigid breathing but how could it be possible in this state? Nicholas was not looking at me. His chin raised and his golden eyes fixated on what’s in front of him. Each step he took, his expression became tense and stern despite the sunlight falling over his face. A quick blink alone was wearing me out, let alone speaking to him or commanding him to release me. Never I had not yearned for a desire to walk down again.

I saw Nanny coming. Her steady steps were halted upon seeing us and her relaxed eyebrows jumped up as she widened her mouth and stared us in disbelief. Then, she dashed across the corridor.

“Oh, my Lord Nicholas.” she was bowing down, almost at a right angle. “I am terribly sorry for not being able to fulfil my duty to greet your Grace.” Nanny’s eyes darkened with worry and seeing her like this made my stomach dwelled in unease. Nicholas unfazed by her behaviour, narrowed his eyes instead. He whom arrived at my manor several minutes ago and asserting dominance over Nanny who had been serving this Eruditean household for almost 20 years in front of the owner’s daughter. Regardless of his title, he had no right to barge into other people’s personal library with no permission and now about to have Nanny blamed instead.

I could not let this slide.

Inhaling, holding my breath midway before I exhaled to gather courage to talk to the man who was carrying me, yet no words managed to come out as I had planned in my head.

“Umm…Nich-” Stuttering as I suddenly remembered that calling him just by his name would be very ideal way to dig my own grave.

I seemed to capture his attention so did Nanny’s.

“Umm.. your Grace?” That was how Nanny called him, right? “I-”

I looked at Nanny as my eyes gestured her to assist me in any way she could so that I would no longer see the scene of her bowing with her head almost hitting to a floor just to please an arrogant 17 years old.

“Martha.” Nicholas said. “Ophelia fainted while we were at the library.”

Nanny’s eyes widened and wrinkles started to appear on her forehead. And she shifted her stare to me.

“That’s why I told you not to eat cupcakes!”

“It wasn’t because of cupcakes.” I replied. Nicholas glanced down at me in surprise, and I returned him a bewildered “What, you have never eaten a cupcake before?” look. However, his gaze slided down to my hands which were gripping his suit. Right on his chest.

Oh crap. What have I done?

“You seem to have a fever.” Nanny moved away some strands of hair stuck on my forehead and put her palm. Biting my lips in embarrassment and gripping my dress in shame; I did not even have time for a fever.

“It’s a surprise you don’t but why are you so red all of sudden?”

Heat dashed across my cheeks, burning my skin along the way. “Come to think of it, Miss Ophelia hasn’t eaten a cupcake yet. So, what might it be?” Nicholas. Him.

“I think Lord Nicholas will pay a visit to your chamber once he has finished the business with his Grace.” Nanny spoke as she gently wiped away sweat on my cheeks and forehead. Nanny smiled as she looked at me. As if she saw right through me. “Then.” she stood up. “I’ll excuse myself.”

I had no words. And I didn’t know what I should say or how I should act. Not only in front of Nicholas but also Nanny. Once again, I remembered that I was not the real ‘Ophelia.’ Once again, I reminded myself how I wanted to live. Once again, I realized. There was nothing I could do. Play along a script and get your destined ending. You could never outshine the heroine, or you could never save yourself. Yet, I wanted to enjoy this life before it ended. Even if it included changing the story because I felt that certain things were changing.

A knock came. “Come in, please.”

The door creaked open and revealed the man, Nicholas. From a bed, I stole a glimpse of him: slowly he released a doorknob, walked towards the desk beside a window and seated himself. Quickly, I stood up and walked to him, occupying the seat in front of him.

The silence was loud. My eyes hanged onto the rose petals in a porcelain vase in front of me. With my fingers somewhat fidgeting; I buried my hands between my thighs.

“What do you think of me?” Nicholas asked as his sharp golden eyes glued onto mine.

From rose petals to the floor, my eyes changed a direction. “What do you mean?”

“Well, there are some rumours about me, and I would like to hear your opinions.”

Rumours. I had been fed with his so called ‘rumours’ every time I read the novel in my past life, and they eventually turned out to be true. Ruthless, cold-hearted, blood thirsty. Plus, his lack of interest in his sickly fiancée: me and his obsession with my sister, Sophia in near future. I knew everything like a person who was rewatching their favourite movie second time.

“Those rumours are not worth your time, your Grace.” with an awkward smile I replied. “You are very kind, noble and handsome.”

Nicholas chuckled. Did I succeed?

“What you want to mean is I am cunning, cold and ugly.”

“No, you are not ugly!” I slammed at the desk.

Lord. Please punish my irresponsible mouth.

Nicholas laughed. Almost like a cheerful child under sunlight. A breeze swam. A gentle one and scraped away the tense expression on Nicholas’s face. Never in my life, I thought I would see a smile from a man with such descriptions. My stiff shoulders started to relax and slowly I breathed.

“Seems like we have different perceptions of rumours, then.” he leaned towards me. “But out of all people, I don’t want you to believe such rumours. Even if they come from friendliest mouths.”

His tone was serious. Yet it was genuine. His pupils were calm and soothing. Eyes powerful enough to puppeteer a person.

“What exactly are these rumours?” I asked.

Nicholas shifted his eyes to the side, finding words desperately.

“About your absence?”

Nicholas blinked in surprise, but he concealed his reactions and maintained the composure. The reason he requested me not to believe them was nothing but to cover himself from getting exposed. That this engagement was nothing but an arranged and contractual one benefitting both our families, he had no interest in me and instead in another. His family got trained force while ours received title and medicinal herbs for me.

I was a fool to fall into his trap. Built with lies. This was all according to the novel. There was no change after all. Unless I made it myself.

Nicholas coughed. “All you need to do is.” He looked into my eyes. Staring into my soul. “To take care of your health.” He didn’t smile but I could somewhat sense it leaking from his voice.

It was already late in the evening. Still, his words lingered in my eyes and injected in my thoughts.

The sky was tainted with saffron as the shades of violet kicked in. Behind scattered clouds, the Sun sank slowly while it continued to radiate warm light. Bright yellow turned into deep golden. It was beautiful. Like those golden eyes. Powerful like them.

“Miss. The dinner’s ready.”

“Is Sophia joining?”

“After she finished her dancing lessons.”

“Dancing this and dancing that.” I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Why is she always dancing all the time? Is there any sort of competition?”

Nanny scoffed. “There’s a debutante ball next week.”

“Of whom?” I asked.

“Of you.” Nanny said. “And Lady Sophia.”

With a gasp, the realization hit me like a train. “I am turning 16 next week.”