The more he looked through the books that littered his safe room, the more he felt a wallowing sadness swell up in his stomach. His fascination with Earth and those who had the luxury of living on it had become the only save and grace to his sanity. His hands grazed the pages of a book on bar drinks and specialty mixes, examining each and every drink with spiked curiosity. While he skimmed through each page with delicacy, the color of his surroundings started to change, a bundle of little stars filling his room with a light yellow aura as the ship passed through its 3rd cluster of the hour. He wasn’t one to talk much, he was more of an observer; not that he ever really got near the others, he watched in the shadows where they wouldn’t think to look for him. He wanted nothing more than to fit in, yet it was abundantly clear he wasn’t wanted. The rest simply sat back and watched as he was erased, just barely visible to the eye and quiet enough to fit into the sound of silence.

Perhaps I’d fall asleep to a nice Cosmopolitan… Am I feeling Vodka tonight? Or maybe I should stick with something Whiskey related… I could go with an Old Fashioned and substitute the usual Bourbon for Whiskey I suppose. He thought to himself as his eyes drooped low and unfocused, skimming over each ingredient as he flipped the pages. His consciousness continued to wonder for what seemed like eternity, and the book in his hand started to slip. When his mind settled in a haze comfortable enough for him to process his own body movement, he gave up on the thought of grabbing a drink and slowly got up. The cracked mirror in front of him, stained red on stuck out shards, was a simple reminder that he and isolation didn’t have a very fond relationship, despite living in each other's presence for years.

Sleep, if you’re somehow a mind reader, I’d like to share a bed with you tonight, if that’s alright. I feel if we just sought each other out more often, we’d come to grow on one another, like friends. So please… At least for tonight, come find me and take me away to the space we call dreams… His thoughts drifted as he lay down on his mattress, fixating himself in a position surrounded by the comfort of pillows and blankets, hoping for some warmth inside his heart. A single tear ran down his pale face, adding yet another stain to the many from over the years. As the starlight faded and they passed a distant moon, the room grew dim and his eyes flickered, finally resting enough for him to slip out of consciousness and into his own world of made up imagery.

When the boy woke up, the light from a familiar star filled his room, a creamy white illuminating every nook and cranny. His eyes fluttered open, the usual sense of dread that filled his stomach simmering on hollow heat.

Well, I suppose I could eat. It’s already noon and I’m not feeling particularly nauseous at the moment. He thought to himself, stretching his arms up and sighing as he put them down and stood.

***

“Hello?” Elizabeth called out, hoping the blonde was wandering around the area. She scanned the kitchen, keeping silent in hopes she could hear him around, not that it ever helped her before.

“Did you need something Liz?” Elizabeth jumped, spinning around to find the boy by the fridge, carrying leftover steak from the previous night's dinner. She examined him for a moment, completely awed by the golden shine of his hair, as she always was.

No matter how long I know him, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it, his angelic appearance is always a sight to behold. I wish he’d come out more often. She thought to herself as she looked over the boy; He started to get fidgety as she observed him in silence, his calm and collected demeanor from earlier slipping away into anxiety and a hint of fear. As she continued to study him, he tilted his head to the side, the anxiety spiking as he wondered what it was she could be thinking. After a minute of uncomfortable silence, the boy spoke up again, breaking the eye contact Elizabeth pulled in the moment.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to make you jump.” His voice was almost a whisper as he looked at the ground, leaning back against the counter by the fridge. Elizabeth shook her head, taking a few steps forward before she spoke up.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s getting close to our 50 year drop, so I was just wondering if you were out of your room and roaming around.” Elizabeth stopped in her tracks, seeing the blonde attempt to move away uneasily as she moved closer. A slight frown appeared on her lips as she watched him uncomfortably shift himself so his full attention was on Elizabeth in a watchful manner.

“Oh, okay…” He replied in a quiet tone, seeping into himself and he slowly slinked by the counter, hoping to escape Elizabeth's gaze and disappear.

“Hey, we’re ummm… Look, I’m not supposed to tell you, but I think Olivia is going to allow you to come along with our visit this year. If you’d like to, as long as you don’t cause a scene or any misbehavior, you might tag along in John's ship.” Elizabeth spoke up, catching the boy’s undying attention. For a moment, Elizabeth saw his eyes light up to a bright yellow, excitement and shock somewhat visible in his features.

“Can… Can I really go this time?” He asked, his voice light and quivering with contained excitement, all his hope pouring into her words not being a lie.

Wow, he looks like a little kid who was just offered candy after months of not having any… He hides this part of himself so often I forgot he could be so vulnerable. I wish his eyes lit up like that more often, he’s much more charming with that look, much more appealing and kind eyed. Elizabeth thought to herself as she stood catching herself in awe again at his reaction to the news.

“Well, probably. I’ll try and talk to Olivia more about it and make sure it's a solid offer. I know how much you’ve been wanting the fresh air… Just, until then, don’t mention it to anyone okay? I’m not actually sure if she’s serious about being so generous, and me mentioning it to you may get me in trouble, which won’t help either of us.” Elizabeth replied with her arms crossed and a soft stance, hoping she didn’t come across as rude. The blonde’s shoulders slumped down and his eyes went downcast and turned to a darker shade of gray, the softer gray from moments before fading out as he nodded, fidgeting with his fingers back against the counter.

“Understood, I won’t mention anything to anyone. I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble…” His voice stayed quiet as he replied to Elizabeth, never raising in fear he might upset her and lose his chance at seeing Earth. Elizabeth frowned again, however this time the frown was directed more so at herself as she realized he may have taken her words as a threat.

“Okay… Well, I’ll see you at dinner? Or… you look like you plan on skipping out of family dinner -which is fine! You don’t have to eat with us if you don’t want to, it would just… you know, it would be nice to see you at dinner sometime. I miss talking to you… Like old times.” Elizabeth confessed, hoping to somehow get him to join the family for the night's dinner. The boy froze for a minute, looking down at his food with a guilty look.

Old times? She wants to go back to old times? Is that… possible? He thought to himself a moment before replying.

“I… I can wait until dinner, I guess, if you really think I should be there.” He slipped his plate back in the fridge and started to walk towards the exit door, faster than Elizabeth could process. She smiled when he spoke, but it faded as she saw the look on his face and the way he escaped, almost as if he were in some sort of painful dilemma.

“Oh, I didn’t mean… you couldn’t have what you already prepared…” She called after him, her voice coming to a whisper as she turned the door corner and realized he was gone. She sighed, thinking to herself as he disappeared.

Stupid Elizabeth, I could have just left him be. He seemed really hungry… I didn’t mean he couldn’t eat before dinner. I should have communicated that better… I wish I knew what goes on in his head, then things would be so much easier. Elizabeth walked back through the halls and to the library, her library, the place she went when she felt overwhelmingly stupid, a place she felt secure and safe to be who she was. This also happened to be the first place she first saw the blonde and his enlightened smile, something no one had seen in hundreds of years.