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How to survive being bodyswapped

How to get yourself into a bad situation... and (maybe) cut potatos.

How to get yourself into a bad situation... and (maybe) cut potatos.

Aug 19, 2023

Ace lurched forward. He grit his teeth as hard as humanly possible. The guards laughter echoed endlessly, scratching his ears like forks against dinner plates. One shoved him to the ground. Ace looked up. Grand marble arches towered overhead, somehow draining color from a place washed out of it.


His feet burnt. How long was that walk anyway?


“Let them rest.”


The guards quieted. Iron clanged as they kneeled, lowing their heads and gripping their spears. Ace flinched at the sounds. His heart slowly thudded against his ribs. As the room grew quieter, he realized just how shaky his breaths were—the ones he could squeeze out, anyway. “So who is it you’ve brought to me today?” The king said… dismissively.




“This idiot formed a party, believing he could bust Alaric out.” A guard ridiculed, ruffling Ace’s hair. Ace grumbled.


The king laid his chin on his palm, staring out with unfocused half-shut eyes. He let out a big sigh as he leaned forward. His eyes panned across each hero. “Very well then.” He waved his hand. Ace furrowed his brows. “You really thought you could play it solo, didn’t you?”

“-One moment.”


A honey-drenched voice cooed from the shadows. The guards gazes retreated, each bowing as low as they could. Rough fabric dragging and footsteps boomed across the room. The feeling of the place grew more drowsy with each step and the tension so thick one could cut it with a knife. Ace looked through his messy hair.


A woman towered over him. Her red lips crawled into a sly grin. She placed a finger on her chin, leaning down and looking him over from head to toe. She raised a brow.


“Well.” She sighed, sounding more disappointed than anything. “Does he call himself a hero?”


Ace pursed his lips. His heart scorched with rage. The guard pat him on the back, leaning up… slightly. “No, just a minion.” He teased. The woman chuckled devilishly.

“And you bring him all the way to the throne room?”


…


She scoffed. “I see.” She groaned, turning back to the king. “He’s due for execution as soon as possible.” Every bit of anger Ace could muster vanished, to say the least. He fell, only being yanked back by a guard. Those cuffs were about to pop his bones out of place. His chin lowered to his chest. She knelt down, cupping his face and tilting it. Her horribly intense gaze could’ve petrified him.


He breathed a long and low sigh. Her brows pulled together. “I genuinely pity you.” She taunted, tapping him on the nose. She yanked her hand away, scowling as she jetted to her feet. The guards lowered their heads. “Away with him. By the law of our god, make his death not only widespread news… but a message to anyone who dares to defy.”


The next day...


“No matter what, Mona.. promise me one thing.”


“Of course.”


“That you would die for me.”


Alaric took both her hands, laying them on his chest. Her beautiful eyes twinkled like the stars out. A little smile was drawn on her plump lips. “I would. No matter what.” Mona said softly, closing her eyes. Alaric smiled.


Li jerked upright. He rubbed his eyes and pulled himself up. The mattress croaked. He groaned, dragging himself off the bed. CREEEEEEEEAKKKKKKKK!! Li flinched as he stepped on the rough floorboards. ‘--That was loud enough to wake up the whole house!’


He slumped, tired as all heavens. His back ached so bad it made his body sore. He frowned, staring out with unfocused eyes. Shining—but blurred—tools laying around sparkled in the morning light which spilled in through the windows (and cracks in the walls) just like the scent of wildflowers. He walked over to the window. He crossed his elbows and rested them on the window sill.


He took a whiff. He relaxed as any tension inside or out melted. He closed his eyes. The light dyed his lids red. ‘What a lovely morning..’ He thought. The birds chirped in his ears. He couldn’t help but to smile—but that was ripped away when a realization came to mind: Mona.


She was a peerless beauty. Her eyes and silk-like hair were darker than the deepest shadow man or god could manifest. Every curve was crafted with the care of any realm’s most delicate flower. Her skin was like a sacred jade and her plump lips were redder than fresh blood. No living or immortal woman could match her once in a million years beauty-


Li snapped out of it. He fluttered his eyes. Was that Mona or... that other one? Li yanked himself off the bed. Guess he’d find out.


Later...


“So you’re telling me you’ve never made stew?”


Elsa raised a brow.


…


She cleared her throat. LiJie snapped back into reality… or into his new one, at least. Elsa’s eyes cut into his. Her brow shot sky high. “Have you ever had to cut a potato?”


Did Mona ever cut potatoes? Li shut his eyes for a solid five or six minutes. Mona. Mona what? Could have been Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff for all he knew. He threw up a finger. Sacheverell. He took a deep breath and turned to Elsa.

“Do you know how to cut a potato?”


Elsa sounded a little annoyed now. Li flinched. Elsa furrowed her brows tightly. Strange. Everyone in the novel seemed to bow and take pity on Mona when she showed anything other than cheer. “I don’t.” Li replied casually, staring at his hands.


Elsa pulled out a knife. The thing was sharper than a razor. She swept a potato off the counter and cut it in a giffy. Li’s eyes were glued. He knew how to microwave, at least. “Could you do it a little slower?” Li raised a brow slightly. Elsa nodded. She tossed it in the bowl and yanked another off the counter.


She drug the knife across delicately, staring deep into Mona’s soul. He leaned away. “By the way, you’re slouching.” Elsa scoffed sharply. Li’s eyes shot wide. He jerked upright. CLANG!! The ground shook. Mona’s heart skipped a beat. Li flinched hard. Elsa wore a poker face. She sighed, sliding a hand on her hip. “I’ll get it, cut that potato in the meantime.”


Li turned, cracked his knuckles and took a long, hard breath. Elsa walked off. He tossed the potato up and caught it like he’d been practicing all his life. He smirked. Maybe his chest puffed a bit. He squinted, twirling it on the counter and putting the knife right on it.


…


  Wait?! Is that actually Mona??!

Lupine
Lupine

Creator

"Hi my name is LiJie and I've never cut a potato in my life" 8I

(I might redo this one, but for now, enjoy!)

#li_gets_executed #not_li_oops #the_wrong_one #sorry #really_im_sorry #look_please_forgive_me #i_geniunely_didnt_mean_to #can_we_just_replace_the_protag_with_the_demon_prie #stess #thanks

Comments (8)

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Rupash
Rupash

Top comment

"PROMISE YOU'D DIE FOR ME?"
WHAT TYPE OF SHIT EATING PROMISE IS THAT?
BTW, MONA IS SO CUTE!

1

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How to survive being bodyswapped
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When the author of his favorite webnovel disappears, LiJie is forced to make his own ending--but as the heroine's insignificant love interest.

In a kingdom where a corrupt demon priestess sits in the king’s throne, allied and enemy kingdoms both fall to shambles, villages all around plummet into poverty, one nobleman rose. That was Alaric, who would cultivate power beyond belief—only to wind up in prison. No matter how wild the unicorn, dragon and orc filled world got, it seemed like the hero’s love interest Mona had no place in it.

After all, Li states he can count how many times Alaric visited her on his hands. Maybe she was mentioned a little more though. You confidently could say office worker Tian LiJie was slightly obsessed with the novel. When the stakes pile up for Alaric (his mercenary army’s defeat and love interest imprisoned), the author vanishes.

Then Li wakes up as Mona. Can he rewrite the end the author (didn’t) have planned…?
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5 episodes

How to get yourself into a bad situation... and (maybe) cut potatos.

How to get yourself into a bad situation... and (maybe) cut potatos.

248 views 9 likes 8 comments


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