Transcript:
Caption: “Being nonbinary is like when you’re trying to vote, and you really don’t want to vote for either candidate.” A hand hovers over a ballot, with checkboxes for “Nope,” “Heck no,” and “Write in.”
A portly, fangy man in a suit pounds on a podium marked “Chumpublican.” He bellows, “If I’m elected, I will feed voters to the sharks!”
Across from him, a gaunt, fangy man in a suit leans on a podium marked “Chumocrat.” He snivels, “If I’m elected, I will feed voters’ loved ones to the sharks.”
Two friends nervously watch this political debate as it plays on a stack of old television sets. The tall friend has a neckerchief, and the short one has a slouch cap and wallet chain. The tall friend says, “I dunno, maybe I’ll vote chumpublican. You?”
The short friend says, “Who else is there?”
Back on the TV, a new politician says, “I won’t get elected, but if I did (I won’t), I would not feed anyone to sharks.” He’s sweating nervously, making an apologetic shrug. His podium says “Green Party” on it.
The tall friend watches the TV in disgust, and says to the short friend, “Don’t throw away your vote on that loser. No matter what you do, folks will get et by sharks.” The short friend shouts, “But–!”
The short friend says with resolve, “I just can’t vote chumpublican or chumocrat, it’s not in line with my principles! I’ll pencil in my own name if I gotta. If neither suits, there must be an alternative!”
With a resigned sigh, the tall friend says, “But only the two main parties have any chance at winning. Get real.” Frustrated, the short friend splutters, “What’s that got to do with it.”