I was not sure how long I ran, or how much I cried, or how many people I shoved past. When I came to my senses, I had collapsed onto the floor in front of the Queen and the Sanggung.

“Seul-Ki!” the head palace lady exclaimed. “Insolent brat, you are not allowed to barge into Her Majesty’s room like this!”

Ignoring all etiquettes, she sprung to her feet and stomped towards me, her expression that of a raging fiend. I flinched at her harsh strides, but before she could reach me, the Queen spoke.

“Sanggung.” The voice was a gentle warning. “Leave us.”

“But this girl dares to—“

“Leave.”

My vision was blurred, but I could hear the Sanggung’s strained, “Yes, Your Majesty…” followed by her reluctant steps out of the room. 

Then, a pair of arms wrapped around me. I found myself curling into their warmth instinctively.

“What’s wrong, Seul-Ki?” the Queen whispered into my ears.

My heart was still beating out of my chest, and my head was still throbbing from the blood rush, but the Queen’s embrace soothed me enough to speak.

“Why… Why are people so mean to you?” The memory of Seul-Na’s words stung me more than the tears in my eyes. “Why do they… say such… cruel things… about you?”

The Queen said nothing. Instead, she tightened her grip around me, pulling me closer. And into her shoulder, I sobbed.

I could not get Seul-Na’s disgusted tone out of my head. The way she had talked about the Queen, her eye roll, her wrinkled nose, her absolute disbelief that the Queen was anything but dazzling. I could not believe my sister. 

And I could not stop crying.

The Queen let me. Without a word, she let me cry until I ran out of energy. I was staining her fresh robes and weighing her down, but she let me.

After my sobs turned into quiet sniffs, she finally broke the silence.

“When I was told I had to marry the King, I was not happy.”

I lifted my head and frowned. The Queen caressed the tears away from my cheeks as she continued.

“I knew I had to, for my family, for… the country. I knew it was my duty. But that did not stop me from being angry at the world. And I was… so angry.” She sighed. “I… wasn’t the best version of myself. I took my anger out on everyone around me. I refused to try and make my relationship with the King work, even just a little bit. And I was… cruel too. As cruel as people now are about me. What they say about me now, I probably deserve it.”

I shook my head so vigorously that the Queen had to withdraw her hands away from me. “No, Your Majesty, that’s just not true!”

Smiling, she cupped my face. “I know what people have been saying about me, Seul-Ki. I’ve always known, and I never bothered to do anything about it. But what I did not know is that one day, I will meet someone who does not care what people say about me. Who is willing to get to know me first.”

She leaned in, her lips a hair away from mine. “You changed everything. That day… you didn’t look at me the same way new servants always looked at me. You looked at me like… you weren’t afraid. Instead, you were…” —a breathy laugh— “You changed everything, Seul-Ki. You changed my life.”

I was so shocked by this confession that I almost did not register the kiss she planted on me. But when our tongues met, I melted into her. Her hands cradled my cheeks as she kissed—hard and passionate, as though she was trying to extract the sadness away from me.

When we parted to catch our breaths, I took a moment to stare at her. In the late afternoon light, the Queen was beautiful. I wanted everyone in the world to see her like this, to appreciate her, to give her all the love she deserved. But at the same time, I wanted her all to myself.

A smirk crawled up her face. “You’re looking at me like that again,” she said. Her hands dropped and traveled downwards.

I grabbed her wrists. “Your Majesty.”

“Seul-Ki.” Her tone was forceful enough to make me let go of her.

One of her hands landed on my waist while the other slipped under my dress.

I tried to protest again, “Your Majesty, you don’t have to do th—“

She cut me off with a kiss. 

I let her mouth distract me from her searching fingers—until she grazed a spot that made me gasp through our kiss.

Emboldened, she pushed my legs wider apart and leaned into me. Her hand explored further, sending waves of pleasure through me. 

“Guide me, Seul-Ki,” she muttered. “I’ve never done this before.”

It took everything out of me to breathe out a response. “Whatever… you do, Your Majesty… you are… the best.”

The Queen chuckled, a tinge of shyness in her soft, velvety voice. I was not lying; she was indeed the best, but my favorite part was her flushed cheeks. Her brows, furrowed in concentration. Her hitched breath. Her teeth, biting her lips. 

Just seeing her like this was almost enough to send me over the edge. 

As if realizing her control over me, she slid a finger into me. I gasped—and gasped again when her digit pressed into my walls.

“Your… Majesty…”

“Joo-Hyun.” Her glossy eyes were unwavering. Commanding. “My name is Joo-Hyun.”

I tried to shake my head. I tried to protest, to tell her that someone like me did not deserve to call her by her name. But when her thumb stroked my clit, my mind turned blank.

“Y- Your… M— Joo-Hyun, ah!”

Her wrist increased in speed the moment I tried to utter her title, and I was forced to call out her name instead—and that spurred her vigor even more. 

She kissed my neck, her breath hot against my skin, while I squirmed and heaved under her touch. I gripped her robes when I came, letting her body stabilize mine as the gush of pleasure flooded through me.

Her fingers were still caressing my core when I regained my senses. I gave her a weak smile before slumping on her shoulders, huffing and shuddering. It was still wet with my tears.

“Joo-Hyun…” The Queen’s name already felt so easy on my tongue.

“Yes, Seul-Ki?”

“Joo-Hyun…” I repeated, closing my eyes. The ecstasy had faded away, and grief returned. Grief, and guilt. 

“I… don’t want you to have his child, Joo-Hyun…” I blurted. That was one thing I had agreed with Seul-Na on, and it made me feel sick in my stomach. 

There was silence before the Queen let out a small sigh. 

“Having his child will be good for me, Seul-Ki,” she whispered. “Because when he dies, my child will become the new King. And I, the Queen Regent.”

I frowned. When the King… dies? 

She pushed me away by my arms such that she could bore her eyes into mine. “Will you be loyal to me, Seul-Ki?”

“Of course, Your Majesty,” I assured her, without any hesitancy. “I will forever be loyal to you.”

Her expression was a faraway, wistful smile. 

“Good.”