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I am sorry

Chapter 1 - part three

Chapter 1 - part three

Sep 01, 2023

Dinner was served shortly after sunset. 

   The people in the dining room were gorgeous. With their bright colors, mixed with gold and white. The colors of nobility. 

   But I was happy, for I got to change out of my usual brown and into a black maids uniform, with a white apron tied around my waist. I braided my hair into a long braid that reached the middle of my back.

   I did not want to make anyone mad with my hair being down.

   Though the fact that my face was fully exposed made me feel vulnerable, now anyone and everyone could see how disgusting I looked. I bet that my right cheek has started turning into a giant red mark. 

   That alone would be shameful because then that might cause attention to drift towards me instead of where it should be, on my sister and her parents. But the fact that my eyes were a vibrant violet was a slap in the face for my father, for I took my mother’s eyes. 

   Bad things happen when he’s reminded of that woman and me. 

   Rosy’s outfit did not change all that much from earlier today. She still had those beautiful skirts on but she replaced her pink bodice for a bright gold one with a white drawstring in the back. Her blond hair was half up, half down, the top was tied with a bright pink ribbon tied into a bow. Rosy’s face, which was already beautiful, was even prettier with makeup on. Her cheeks had a beautiful blush on making her always look flushed, but in a pretty way. Her lips tinted with a bright pink lipstick and eyes framed by long black lashes. 

   She was a goddess in mortal form. That was the only way to describe her beauty. 

   The Madam was wearing a deep blue gown that was fitted from her bosom to midthigh, the rest was puffy layers. Her black hair is made into intricate braids on the top of her head. Her brows arched high, eyelids painted a shimmery silver, making her black eyes look brighter somehow. Her lips were painted with a bright red lipstick. 

   She looked meaner this way. Her features are sharper, hawklike even. 

   I wonder what’s going to happen. 

   The two front doors opened and male voices boomed with excitement. 

   First, father walked in, wearing brick colored pants that ended below the knee, white stockings covering the legs below the knee to black buckle shoes. He had a rusted red vest with gold buttons, a white collar, with a gold overcoat on top. His blond hair slicked back exposing a strong brow, bright blue eyes, high cheekbones, and thin lips. He was a very handsome man, and I’m betting, a great father. 

   Not like I’d ever known.

   Stop being selfish! Rosy’s voice screeched in my head, so loud that I winced. 

   Jeez. Even my inner self was against me. But it was correct as always, I need to stop doing that. Not everything’s about me, but everything is about Rosy. 

   Father was actually smiling. A genuine smile that's never been used towards me. But his smile made me smile, my lips actually twitched at how happy he was. It made me happy. 

   Until he noticed me. Then his eyes dimmed and his smile wavered, it was a punch to my gut. I only wanted him to be happy. 

   Why wasn’t he happy?

   It’s my fault. It’s my fault that his eyes dimmed. 

   I wanted to say sorry. 

   I wanted to reach out and say that I was sorry for everything. 

   That it’s all my fault. 

   That he shouldn’t hold any guilt towards what had happened. 

   That it wasn’t his fault. 

   While he and I stared at each other I noticed the Madam’s smile heightened. Why? Doesn’t she care that her husband feels bad?

   He glanced in her direction and must’ve noticed the smile on her face too because he fixed his face into an excited smile again. It warmed my heart. 

   I bowed my head to hide the smile that was spreading over my face. 

   The only reason I knew that someone else had come in behind him was because the sound of footsteps approached. I watched the floor seeing four sets of feet. Two were women, which was Rosy and the Madam, and the two others were male. One was my father's and the other one was unfamiliar. The man had black breeches on with black, polished boots that reached below the knee, with a gold trim on the top. 

   The second man was definitely a noble. 

   It still didn’t make sense why the Madam was so adamant on mashed potatoes though. 

   “Well, let us take our seats. Shall we?” My father said, voice smooth as honey. 

   They all must have nodded in agreement because the feet started moving towards the dining table. Father sat at the head seat, Madam on the left and Rosy on the right. The guest moved to the other end seat across the table, closest to me. His scent wafted towards me as walked past me to his seat. His scent was a musky, floral perfume that only nobles wore. 

   “Thank you for joining us for dinner,” Father said. 

   “Thank you for the invitation, and how could I not when your daughter is a beautiful goddess in disguise?” The man said, his voice coming out as a deep husky sound. 

   My head jerked up at his voice. It was disturbing how deep and loud it seemed to rumble. As if he is used to talking loudly. Makes sense because of his status. I was behind him but could only see the back of his head that stuck up past the back of the chair. He had wavy honey brown hair that reached his shoulders. 

   I don’t know how to explain it but this man makes me very uncomfortable. As if I should run as fast and as far as I can make it from this man. 

   My father’s gaze flicked over to me seeing that I had decided to look up. His jaw started to tick, as if he was angry at me.

   What did I do now?

   Oh, does he think that I thought the man was talking about me? 

   No. I didn’t think that! I wanted to say to him but kept my mouth clamped shut. Of course, I knew the man was talking about Rosy, who wouldn’t talk about her like that? They’d be delusional if they didn’t see her beauty. 

   They’d be even crazier to see me as such. 

   Instead of saying what I wanted to, I discreetly shook my head, keeping my eyes on my father. Not daring to watch the man in front of me like a prey would watch out for their predator. 

   Yet, me shaking my head made him even angrier. 

   I’d be punished for this but that’s not what I was worried about, it was the fact that my father would dare think I’d think that the man was talking about me. 

   “Oh, is that so?” My father said through clenched teeth, breaking eye contact with me to look at the man in front of me. 

   “Quite so. Ever since I saw this beauty, I thought that I’d be struck by lightning if I never saw her again,” The man proclaimed. 

   Rosy’s cheeks reddened even more than what was put on her face. 

   I almost smiled at her happiness. 

   “Interesting.” Father commented, rubbing his chin with his fingers. He looked at me then smirked before saying, “Servant! I think it is time for supper, don't you think?”

   I gave a curt nod before rushing off to get dinner. I grabbed the dishes and put them on the dinner cart before coming in through the doors of the dining room. 

   From my vantage I could now see the man fully. He was handsome, with pronounced brows, honey hued eyes, a straight nose, and full lips. But he still unsettled me for some reason.

   I passed out the plates in front of each person, then poured the four each a glass of wine. When I got near the man I’d always get this chill down my spine. My instincts wanted to take over and run from this strange man. But I did not. 

   Though I did notice that the man watched me intently for some reason I could not fathom. 

   Once done I took my place back behind the strange man, and waited to be of use again. That’s what my life was. Always waiting on when I can be of some use. 

   My father cleared his throat after everyone ate for a few minutes in silence. “I would like to discuss why I have invited you tonight, your grace.” 

   Huh, so this man was of a higher status than my father. 

   Interesting. 

   “Well, go on.” His Grace said to my father, taking another bite of mashed potatoes. 

   Oh, so that's why the Madam wanted mashed potatoes served tonight!

   “I would like to make a proposal with you,” my father looked tense as a bow string. 

   What was happening?

   “Is that so?” His Grace asked. 

   “Yes.” Father took a deep breath. “I would like for you to marry my daughter.” He blurted.

   Rosy’s head snapped up but the Madam did not seem surprised, instead her smile grew even larger. 

   I guess they didn’t tell Rosy that she was going to get married off. But it makes sense, she has reached the prime age for marriage. It is believed that someone her age is the most fertile when it comes to making heirs. 

   His Grace choked on the wine he had just taken a drink of. 

   “Oh? And why would you do that?” He asked, genuinely confused. 

   “Because she needs a man in her life and you’d be perfect for her.” Father said.

   What does Rosy need a man for? She’s perfect already.

   “Well then I’d be happy to take Rosy as my wife.”

   The Madam smirked. “Oh honey, not my daughter. Her.” She pointed at me. 

   What?

   His Grace faced me wide eyed. 

   “Duke Zorion, meet my eldest daughter. Alice, you're soon to be bride.” My father said through clenched teeth. 

   What the…?

allenafh09
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I am sorry
I am sorry

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Alice never wants to disappoint anyone, not her family who constantly looks down on her, or the servants she works with. She only wants to help. So even when she is hit she always blames herself, after all it is her fault she made them mad. So when her ruthless family gives her away to an even more ruthless duke, she does not fight or complain. She thinks that this is was she was made for, that this is all life has to give. Until and interesting farrier catches her attention. He is the most handsome man she has ever seen, even more than her husband which scares her because this is the first time she has genuinely cared for someone. She plans to ignore this strange feeling but then he admits he feels that same! Will she go against her family after all these years of trying not to be a disappointment and going with whatever they say?
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3 episodes

Chapter 1 - part three

Chapter 1 - part three

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