Tutoring sessions
Ch.1.4
Theo's pov
It's been a week since I had to do my first tutoring session with Nathan. I still can't believe I have to tutor him of all people! Not only did I never tutor anyone before but why him?! He's a lost cause!
Though I'm still confused about why he disappeared for a full week. Like seriously disappeared to the point of ignoring me. That's not even like him!
Is he finally taking his studies seriously? Sometimes I like to think so but last week he proved me otherwise.
What I found strange is that he has come to school all week long! That is a massive feat! He always skips class here and there especially math and English. He's been in every class so far!
Even the teachers are impressed. They think I have something to do with it and I convinced him to. Though, it has nothing to do with me.
As much as he makes my blood boil sometimes, I can't avoid telling him such a feat! That is some record here! I'm definitely telling him that later!
Even if he's been going to class it doesn't mean he appreciates being tutored. It's clear as day that he doesn't want me to tutor him because why would he? It was clear as day last time. I can't believe he dared to ignore me during the entire session! It's worse than how he used to treat me before.
It's not like I wanted to tutor him. Of course not. I hate him!
Even if I don't want to, I had no choice but to accept. I don't want to be reprimanded by the teacher. It's an opportunity to showcase I'm capable of this even if it's Nathan that I have to deal with.
Anyways, it's not surprising that Ms. Frazer assigned me to tutor him. He has always sucked at school, well maybe not when I first met him...but I still don't get it.
How has he never repeated a year? He didn't understand a thing last time! How is he in his senior year if he doesn't understand the basics?! He gets on my nerves especially when he doesn't take this seriously. Though, I'll admit that his usual self has always pissed me off since I met him.
Despite everything, he hasn't said a word to me nor did he do anything to me ever since our last tutoring session.
He's back from avoiding me like before! I don't understand why he's acting that way! It's not even like him to do that!
He can't possibly start not giving a damn about me after all those years. It's never been like him. He'll basically do anything just to taunt me. He loves throwing me off, I can tell.
Did kissing me at Spin the Bottle at Pamela's party threw him off that badly? I get that it disgusts him but he knows I'm gay. Wait, don't tell me he's scared I'd want to do that again or I'm thinking about him that way! Oh hell no...!
Ugh, I'm thinking about that kiss again. Why can't I stop thinking about it? I just keep imagining his lips on mine and how his lips tasted on mine last time. No! Stop it! Stop thinking about it!
I thought I would forget about the kiss but I guess I haven't. Why am I still thinking about it? Why am I thinking about that kiss that way!?
I get that it was my first kiss but why does the moment I kiss someone for the first time, I get to start yearning for them?
And now I'm thinking about the last session! He was...It was so strange it was like he was checking me out. Why did he do that?! If he were disgusted by me he wouldn't do that, right?!
Is this a way to piss me off because he knows I'm gay? Ugh! Stop thinking about it!
The more I tell myself the more I think about it...
To be real...I haven't only been thinking about the kiss...I started having those weird feelings, sensations and some naughty thoughts. Things I've never felt before and thoughts I've never had before. That's what is stressing me out.
Am I really starting to think in naughty ways at 17? I mean...17. Most people already did it before so...I guess it's normal?
No, it's not when it's Nathan that I picture when I...think about those things! I'm supposed to hate him! How can 10 years of hatred be cancelled just for a simple kiss? Ugh, why is he always on my mind nowadays? Stupid brain.
I would do anything to think that way of another guy and not Nathan!
Anyways, naughty thoughts of someone are one thing but I wouldn't actually do it through...The risk of getting pregnant...That still scares me and it'll always will. I know I could have safe sex but I don't know...
I don't want to do it as it's potentially dangerous but that kiss at Spin the Bottle awakened my sexual desire. Now I'm curious about having my first time and horny, not with Nathan through! No way...
Ugh, enough about this, I don't care about him. I have better things to do than think about that guy but do I even care about him?
Think about something else...yeah, I know what! Ben!
Ever since I saw him again last week, I became friends with Ben. He and his friend Kean started eating with us all the time. Luckily we all get along so that's great.
Ben is cute I'll admit but not cute in that sense you know.
Kean seemed more outgoing at first but he's a lot more reserved than I thought. He's quiet most of the time.
While Ben has told me some things about himself, Kean has said basically nothing.
Even if I learned a lot about Ben, he hasn't told me about his love life. I mean I haven't told mine either but when I first met Pamela she instantly told me about her boyfriend and her. Guess Ben is just too shy. Though, he does talk to me a lot and not nearly as much with my friends, strange.
On the other hand, I wish I could go back home and just try to relax but it's Tuesday and it means it's Nathan's and I's tutoring session today. Well, I'm doomed.
I'm currently waiting in the library with all my stuff and as usual, he's late. He doesn't keep track of time, does he? I wonder is he even gonna show up or is he that bent on avoiding me?
It's snowing outside today. Maybe it has something to do with that? Nah, he would do the same if it were a rainy day.
I wait a few more minutes and he finally arrives with his winter coat on. He went smoking, huh?
He comes closer and gets rid of his coat. Yup, he smoked before coming here. Ugh, what a pain.
"So, you were late because you wanted to smoke in snowy weather?" He glares at me.
"What does it do to you?"
"You know that smoking is bad for you. Do you want to ruin your life mister bad boy?"
"And when will you learn to stop meddling in people's business mister goody two shoes?" He says pissed off. I don't know which is the worst, this or him ignoring me.
"Anyways, I'm surprised to see that you dared to come to your classes last week and so far this week too."
"What? Happy about that? You'll tell the teacher you did your good deed." Now, I glare at that.
"Good deed? I'm serious here. Why aren't you taking this seriously?"
"Because I don't care unlike you?" He says nonchalantly.
"I'm glad to see you're back to your usual self. Since you seem to make some progress somehow, let's do some tutoring sessions on Thursdays too."
"Thursdays too? Have you lost your goddamn mind?!" Nathan flips out.
"What? Don't want to?" I say nonchalantly in return.
"Oh, whatever do what you want, the holidays are coming soon anyways." Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
He sits down and I take all my books. I decide to choose English.
"English really?"
"Yeah, that's the basics. You need those to graduate."
"Graduate my ass." I glare after him.
"As much as I don't want to be here you have to cooperate. I have every intention to make this work." He just glares in return.
So I start explaining the English basics to him and ask him questions from time to time but instantly get annoyed when I notice he doesn't even answer any questions.
Why is he remaining silent like that?! Is he seriously gonna do the same as last time!?
I try explaining another bit of the English basics, verbs to be exact and I try to get him to answer a question to make sure he understood but he remains silent.
Immediately, that makes me furious but when I turn from my textbook to him I catch him staring at me deeply intensely.
Immediately, it becomes really awkward between us. I stare back at him confused about what is going on but then I realize that he's looking in certain places...
Omg, why is looking at me like that?! Ahh! Gosh, what is going on!? As I continue staring at him I can't help but look in detail at everything too.
His chocolate brown hair is styled stylishly...it's attractive...um...No!
Ugh, his eyes...blue icy eyes staring through my soul, make me have chills down my spine.
His ears half hidden but still pretty visible piercings there...What would it be like to play with them?
Ugh, stop it!
Then his nose...his piercing...on his nose...so intriguing...
Then I venture to his...lips, lips, lips, I want to taste again...kiss again...Argh! Why am I thinking that way?! I'm starting to think in a naughty way!
This wasn't supposed to happen! I have to put this to a stop!
"Nathan..."
"Nathan..."
He finally hears his name and snaps out of his daze. He instantly backs away and blushes slightly at the realization. He's...flustered? No...he's just embarrassed.
"What were you saying?"
Damn, I don't even remember what I was teaching him about. All I can remember is the details on his face and his lips...
"If you continue blanking out, I'm out." That steers away from my...thoughts.
"Sorry, I was asking you if you understood how we conjugate the verb, to be in the present tense." I try to be serious again.
"Isn't it, I be, you are, she is, we are, you are, they are?" Damn...that was close. He almost had it right despite not listening huh?
"You almost got them all right except the first one. It's I am. Like I am happy that you got almost them right." I smile faintly.
"Good, can I leave now?" He says annoyed.
"No, we aren't done here."
"Fine..."
Damn, that was awkward...I hope it won't be that awkward again...It's dangerous to think about him that way.
I know I like guys, always did but that doesn't mean I have to think about him that way. He'll think it's gross if he knew I thought about him that way. Sure he knows I'm gay but...I don't think he'd like me to think about him that way.
It can't be him anyways. He's straight! Straight Theo! STRAIGHT! I guess my mind and my body aren't in agreement here because...I think I might have gotten a boner.
Crap, I'm really doomed. Am I literally getting a hard-on while doing tutoring sessions with Nathan Hames?! What is wrong with me?! How can I get turned on just by this?! Am I really that deprived!? I can't possibly imagine myself hooking up with him?!
I guess I really can't think straight huh? I really have to get rid of those dirty thoughts. I have to find a way to make this stop!
——————-
Nathan's pov
Things have gotten even more intense lately.
As he mentioned, we started doing the tutoring sessions twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays.
The tutoring sessions have been rather something else...I can't say I've been putting effort into understanding but somehow I already got results.
My grades got slightly higher and I don't know how it's possible.
Is it because my dad is forcing me to go to every class? Tsh...I can't believe the old man forces me to go to class when he doesn't really care about me.
It doesn't make sense either way because I don't even listen to a word the teacher says.
Then it must be...the tutoring sessions. Immediately, it makes me think about what happened...
It's been 3 weeks since we started doing those tutoring sessions and 2 weeks since we started twice a week.
Just thinking about it...Argh, I'm getting those sensations again! I don't want some blood to pump down there.
So...the tutoring sessions have been something else...
I've noticed that it's extremely awkward between us, especially since that time when he caught me checking him out.
I thought he wouldn't react but ever since then things have been kind of weird. He...Well, no we haven't done anything. It's just that those awkward moments happened time and time again. I couldn't help but stare at him. That actually made him flustered now that I think about it.
Yesterday, we had a tutoring session and it was a bit heated...Not like we did something but still.
I've noticed he looks at me too and it's super awkward. He's got that glaze in his eyes. It just makes me think, he's thinking about that kiss too. Like there's actually hope...hope that...
I can't be thinking about that. There's no way he feels the same way about me not even just a tiny bit. He hates my guts!
It's Theo Kerlerg! He's perfect! Flawless! Ok, he's oblivious but that works to my advantage. If he were that perfect he wouldn't fall for that but I'm starting to think he does...
Ugh, I'm such a mess thinking that way. Thank goodness, it's the last day of school before the holidays! I'm about to lose my mind if I'm forced to be anywhere near him again.
If having a hard-on every time I left a tutoring session wasn't enough, I don't know what is no more.
Exactly to avoid any contact with him, I have been avoiding him everywhere outside our tutoring sessions. I can't have things get even more out of hand.
——————-
Ugh, why did I agree to this? The other day Pamela asked me to come to her party and I couldn't say no as she bugged me to no end, so I agreed to go even if I knew Theo would be there, through I'm having second thoughts. I'm currently in Pamela's house and it's boring. It's been a few hours and everyone is busy playing games or dancing. To my luck, Theo is with his friends so I don't have to face him.
Through, after staying all alone for a while doing absolutely nothing but drinking, I decide to head outside to smoke.
I put on my coat and head out. I lit up my cigarette and inhale it. Ah...it always feels so relieving whenever I smoke.
I smoke a few more minutes before I'm bothered by someone. Why can't I be alone? Why are they getting out of the house? Weren't they all having fun?
I instantly panic when I notice it's Theo.
"Oh, what are you doing here?" He says.
"I don't know if you can tell but I'm busy smoking here. What about you? Aren't you supposed to be having fun with your friends or yours?"
"I just wanted to take a deep breath...I think I drank too much.."
"Figures." I continue smoking. It usually calms me down so of course I need it even more now with his presence.
"Seriously still smoking in that freezing temperature? You want to die?"
"Why do you care?"
"I don't know..." His gaze drops. Instead, he looks at the ground.
"Want to try it?" Why did I say that?!
"What?"
"We're at a party. Why not do like me? Or are you just too afraid to break the rules by smoking?" He glares at me.
"No, I don't want to try something so toxic."
"Serves you right."
Then we go into an uncomfortable silence for a like while. The only noise left is the fact I'm still smoking.
"Merry Christmas." He says suddenly and then straight up leaves wobbling from drinking too much.
What? What was that? Did he really wish me Merry Christmas? Theo Kerlerg of all people dared to say that?
Oh dear lord...I can feel summersaults in my stomach and I can't help but smile at that.
F**k, I'm really screwed, aren't I? Why did he have to say that all of a sudden? Why did it have to be Theo Kerlerg?
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