Ch.3.2
Theo's pov
It's March 3rd today and it's my birthday.
Though, it's been two weeks since I gained the courage to tell Ben everything. Unfortunately, I still haven't gotten the courage to tell Brooke...yeah, I know I will have to sooner rather than later but I just...I'm too scared to tell her.
I'm glad that Ben is supportive despite everything. Obviously, I haven't forgotten the heartwarming confession he made to me just 2 weeks ago. It was indeed emotional.
I still feel guilty about it. I can't believe all this time I talked about Nathan while he was probably suffering on the inside! Luckily our friendship isn't broken and he hasn't mentioned it since then. As selfish as it is I'm just glad he's sticking with me. Hopefully, he'll move on as he said he'd do.
Regardless, it's more difficult to tell Brooke because she has known me since Middle school. She too fell pregnant with the same guy that got me pregnant...Nathan. Through, she moved on long ago.
Argh, it hurts my heart every time I think about him. Well...I can't tell her...that I made the same mistakes as she did.
I know she'll stick around because she couldn't bear to lose me over that but still, I'm scared of telling her.
What if she doesn't act the same around me? What if she isn't as supportive as I wish her to be? What if she doesn't believe me or understand?
Yup, I've got another headache. My symptoms haven't gotten better yet. They only got worse honestly, especially the nausea.
I really should stop overthinking. Today is my birthday, right? My mom lets me invite my friends over for the evening even though there's school tomorrow.
It comes with a cost, she told me no sleepover.
Anyways, it's not like I want one, knowing my current predicament. I decided that they wouldn't come home directly after school but rather right before dinner. Apparently, my mom wants me to set up everything with her before they come.
I decided to invite Ben, Brooke, Pamela and well Kean, no Nathan...
I just finished setting up everything with my mom. Apparently, Tamara was supposed to be at her friend's house but my mom forced her to be here for my birthday. How nice...
The doorbell rings. Oh? Someone is already here. I walk to the entry door and open it.
"Hey"
"Hey, come in Ben." I'm glad that he's here first.
"Has anyone arrived yet?"
"No"
He enters and gets rid of his spring coat. It has started to become warmer lately and I'm grateful but at the same time, it is concerning for me. I won't be able to hide for long. Ugh, why would I have to start showing when it finally gets warm outside? Why didn't I make this mistake earlier or later?
Anyhow, for only the first few days of March, it's sure warm. Just one month ago we were hitting -10 degrees and now we're already hitting 5-6 degrees. Crazy right? I'm pretty sure this is warmer than usual considering where we live in.
"Let's go wait in my room."
"Ok"
Before we even have the time to head to my room, the doorbell rings again.
"Oh great someone else just arrived."
We walk back into the living room and I open the door.
"Hey.." She says shyly like she usually does. How cute.
"Hey, come in Brooke. Is that a gift that you're holding?" She chuckles lightly.
"Yes it's for you but you'll wait for it after dinner."
"Mm ok. Come in."
She comes in and does exactly what Ben did only a few minutes ago.
"We were about to head to my room."
"Oh okay."
We go to my room and chat for a few minutes. Eventually, Kean arrives and a few minutes later, I'm back in my room with the three of them.
We wait some more and eventually Pamela arrives. It basically takes 15 minutes for Pamela to arrive. She's always fashionably late. I swear that girl. I open the door for her.
"Hey"
"Hey, happy birthday! You're so lucky that you're the first one to turn 18!"
"Uh, Kean turned 18 just last month." That was kind of mean of her.
"Oops, my bad it must've slipped my mind."
"Just come in already."
"No need to be so harsh. Say, you've been acting quite strange lately, care to tell me what it is that's going on in that pretty guy's head?" I try to chuckle but fail.
"It's nothing really now shush it and let us start having fun."
My mom joins us in the living room.
"Dinners ready in about 20 minutes."
"Ok"
We head in my room and chat while dinner's is still being prepared. It doesn't take long for my mom to tell us dinner is ready. We all head into the dining room.
"Where are we all sitting?"
"Oh you girls can sit here and the boys will sit in front. Tamara will bring an extra chair. I'll sit with you girls."
"Oh, you're so nice Miss Kerlerg." Oh, how embarrassing...My mom's last name isn't even Kerlerg.
"Oh please stop with that. You can call me Charlene or just Lene if you prefer."
"Oh ok"
We all sit down. Tamara comes up with an extra chair like my mom told us.
The dinner goes by fast. We talk and laugh. I swear I haven't laughed in weeks.
I'm really grateful that my mom is letting me do my celebrate my birthday here. It's not every mom that would tolerate eating dinner with their teenage friends.
Even if I had fun at the table I kept having this nagging feeling that something bad was gonna happen. I really tried to ignore but I just couldn't.
We decided to watch a movie after dinner but even before I had the chance to head out in the living room with them my mom decided to ask me something.
"I know it's your birthday and all but can we talk about something?
"Uh yeah?" Now, I'm getting anxious about what she wants to tell me.
"Um, I've noticed that you keep disappearing with Ben claiming that you're going to his house but the other day I got the chance to speak with them and they told me you never went in their house, why is that?"
Oh no! Did she figure it out?! No! What should I tell her? I'm screwed with this but before I have the chance to think it through I blurt out the truth.
"I've been going to appointments with Ben..."
"What kind of appointments?" She says skeptical and confused.
"Um... Mom, please don't be mad at me..."
"Why would I be mad at you?
"Can you still please promise me you won't?"
"I promise." She says confidently.
"I messed up...I'm pregnant! The worst part is that it's Nathan's kid....!" I yell without thinking.
Without thinking I close my eyes and then after a few too short seconds, I open them. Only to notice the shock in her eyes. All of her obvious mixed feelings, like hurt, sadness, disappointment, anger and a ton more I can't tell.
As I start crying, I notice that all my friends are now in the kitchen as well as my sister Tamara. Oh no! They heard!!!
What have I done!? I'm dead meat for sure...
I decide to look at Ben first, he obviously feels bad for me and pities me. He already knows about everything.
Then I take a look at Brooke. She's frozen into place. She seems shocked, scared of what she just heard, angry even. I can't tell what is going on inside of her mind.
Then I take a look at Kean. He seems utterly confused about all of this. I believe he doesn't know if he should believe what he just heard.
Then I take a look at my sister. She is shocked of course. Her eyes are wide open as well as her mouth.
Then...I take a look at Pamela...she...she is holding her phone in her hands clearly recording everything smiling at my own misery. I can't believe my eyes!
"You...you didn't record all that did you...?"
Then that's when they all notice what's going on and stop being so dumbfounded. She drops slightly her phone but still has it in her hand nonetheless.
"Yeah and what about it?" No! NO!!!!
"Delete that video right now!!" My mom shouts with a force I never heard of her before. She seems to be back from her internal shock.
Even if she's disappointed in me, I know she never wants things to get worse than they already are, especially not for me.
"Yes, mam." She literally rolls her eyes at my mom and my mom basically goes livid at that.
"Get out! I thought you were a great kid but I take it back! I want you to get off my property now!!!" My mom yells so loud the whole neighbourhood can hear her.
Wow...I didn't think this would happen...My mom ordering someone to get out of her house is pretty rare...
Pamela packs her things and heads out of the house.
Afterwards, my mom doesn't care to talk to me. I can't believe everyone found out about all of this that way...I really wish I could've sat down with all of them one by one and told them. Not them hearing it the way they just did.
I badly wish such a thing wouldn't have happened!
Ugh, why do I have such a big mouth?! This is not the first time that I have acted upon my feelings...
Eventually, my friends came back from their internal shock. My sister goes to her room not having the heart to believe what she just heard.
"Theo is what you told your mom true...?" Brooke asks hesitantly.
"Are you ok?" Ben asks worried.
"Can we just go in my room...?" They all silently agree.
We head there. Brooke, Ben and I sit down on my bed. Kean just decides to stand up awkwardly in front of my door.
"Yeah...I know it's hard to believe..."
"Ben, did you know about that?" Brooke's voice breaks at that. Oh gosh...
"Yeah..." She can't help but have tears roll down her cheeks.
Of course...of course, she feels betrayed by me! I feel so disgusting and guilty right now...
"He...he knew...?"
"Yeah, I told him a few weeks ago..."
"I don't really understand...you're pregnant? How? You're a boy? Only girls can be pregnant."
"Um...it's a long story. Short story, I got diagnosed with the ability to be pregnant as a guy about 3 years ago..."
"Why did you never tell me any of that...? I thought we were besties. That we go through everything together." She says heartbroken with tears falling from her cheeks.
"Because I was afraid, ashamed. I didn't want to lose you Brooke you're one of my only best friends."
"I know...I feel that but there's something else that I don't get at all with what you just told me. What was that about Nathan? What does he have to do with any of this?
So, I explain everything about Nathan and me to my friends.
"I can't believe you right now..."
Brooke looks away from me then she hides her face with her hands probably crying some more. Ben hugs me to comfort me.
"Theo, how could you've been that careless! If you knew that was a possibility as you said then why did you let that happen...?"
"I don't know, I wasn't thinking straight back then...And yes it's all my fault. I take full blame for that. I never told him about that part of me either so he could've known..."
"Thinking straight?! That's not an excuse, Theo!" She angrily lashes at me.
"I know...."
"But anyways, how did...did he take the news assuming you told him already...?" Brooke asks worried.
"He took it way better than I thought he would. He didn't yell at me at first he was just worried. He was actually scared, Brooke. Scared, not something you see coming from Nathan often.
He thought it was a joke but once he finally understood it wasn't then...he was kinda frustrated...We were already on a break, cause I wanted more and he didn't.
He basically told me that he didn't want to do anything regarding the baby. We'll stop seeing each other for real. That's about it..."
"Wow...I have no words right now...I don't get how you did all that with Nathan...You two hated each other so much...But Theo, is even gay...?" She says worried and utterly confused.
"He told me that he liked me but still I tried to make him understand. I don't know Brooke all I know is that..."
"Is that...what?! What do you mean by that? Don't tell me you're in love with him?" She says frustrated and sacred.
"Yes, Brooke I am in love with him..." She seems taken aback about that but she chooses to put another expression on her face, determination.
"I know that you've hurt my feelings but I'll still try to support you as much as I can. This is so much more important than what I think...Wait how far along even are you?"
"Um, 7 weeks?"
"Oh ok, it's mostly recent." Brooke comes closer and Ben takes it as a sign to stop hugging me. Indeed she hugs me right after with all the love she has for me.
Then I can tell Ben wants to join so they both settle to put both of their arms on my shoulders and also my back to support me. This feels...intimate...This has never happened before...I can't help but cry again.
"Um, I don't mind what you guys are doing but should I go fight with that Nathan guy or whatever and Pamela?" Oh geez, I forgot Kean is still there, embarrassing...
"No, don't do that. Violence isn't the solution to everything. Besides it's not his fault. It's my fault 'cause I was the one that started this mess, by kissing him first." They all gasp.
"You did what?!"
"Yeah, I was the one that put myself in this mess."
"Don't ever dare to say that again. Nathan is also partly to blame. A child has two parents for a reason because you guys are both to blame."
Oh, how nice of Ben to say that now...I know very well that it doesn't seem to be the case with my family.
"Um, it's getting late...I think I should leave. Ben you're not forced to leave now even though you're supposed to come back at the same time as me."
"No, it's fine I need to leave either way. There's school tomorrow and my parents will be worried either way."
"OK then, I'll stay then. I kinda want to talk to Theo." She looks at me and I nod silently.
"Theo, I know that tomorrow might be hell for you but we'll try to support you as much as we possibly can. Friends have each other backs right?" Brooke asks hesitantly.
"Definitely"
"You can text me or Brooke or...Kean...Wait, you don't even have his number. Kean how on earth don't you have Theo's phone number yet?!" That earns a chuckle out of me.
"How are you only realizing that now?" Kean says nonchalantly.
"It's obvious you don't have it. You guys never talk to each other if I'm not there." Ben mentions.
"Oh..." Kean walks towards my phone and takes my phone in his hands.
We then give each other's number.
"OK resuming what I was saying, you can text any one of us if something happens or if you just feel like it." I nod back.
"OK, we're heading out. I hope your mom will talk to you after we leave. I really hope you don't have to deal with your mom kicking you out or something."
"She won't but still thanks."
Ben and Kean head out of my room.
——————-
I end up chatting deeply with Brooke about all of this with her for another 30 minutes before she decides to leave. By then it was already 9 pm.
Gosh...This undoubtedly was the worst birthday ever. We didn't even get to eat cake or celebrate my birthday overall. Wait, I didn't even open my gift either! They must have left it somewhere in my house.
I should've never kissed Nathan that day. Only bad things kept happening to me ever since I kissed him. If I only I wouldn't have kissed him...
Yeah, I know it's terrible what is going on right now but I can't help but be selfish.
Yes, I should've used protection, yes, I shouldn't have gotten in this mess in the first place but I can't help but be happy that I had the chance to have what I had with Nathan. If only things wouldn't have gotten to the way it is right now and I could be in Nathan's arms again.
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