Moonlight
Ch.3.5
Theo's pov
Time sure does fly because somehow it's already the first day of October. Honestly, I don't even understand how time has gone so fast.
I thought being in the final stage of pregnancy would make the time seem to go slower but that's not the case at all well mostly since I graduated.
Yes, I officially graduated a few months ago. Things have changed quite a lot. I'm no longer in school as I graduated high school, my friends left to go to college in another city.
Well, Brooke went to a college a little bit further than here as she wants to pursue a career in health care. Sure she doesn't want to become a doctor or anything but she told me she wants to become something to help others.
On the other hand, Ben and Kean went to the nearest college from here.
I think Kean wants to pursue something regarding business.
Ben decided to go get a degree in arts. He rarely talked about his love for art to us but according to Kean, Ben has liked anything related to art since he knew him, so that means a few years ago.
Regardless of that, they come visit me sometimes and we call often, well less so for Kean but he does from time to time too.
Even though it's been a bit lonely lately especially since my friends left for college and it's starting to get cold, I remain positive.
I still live with my mom and my sister thank god for that. I've been preparing with my mom for the upcoming labour and well, raising a child as a single parent.
Today my mom is working even if it's a Saturday and Tamara is yet again at her friend's house. I think she tries to avoid being near me as much as possible.
Now I'm already 40 weeks pregnant. My doctor the other day told me the baby can come out any day now but still no sign the baby is coming. Sure I had a few contractions here and there but nothing alarming as of yet.
I'm kind of nervous about the labour. Sense I'm a boy this is gonna be potentially dangerous. So far the baby appears to be healthy.
I'm really glad the last few months have gone rather smoothly. They said there were a lot of risks involved but everything went well so far now I'm concerned about the labour part. I know it's gonna hurt but my mom taught me some tricks regarding it. Hopefully, everything will go well.
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It's 3 pm right now and I've been getting contractions for the past 2 hours. It's been getting worse and the contractions have been getting closer to one another so much that I think I need to get myself checked, it's getting worse and dangerous.
I'm scared right now...Now one is at home and I don't know what to do. I want someone to be with me but no one is available.
I could call my mom but I don't want to worry her. I don't want to as the neighbours, they won't understand...
Again and again, a name comes to mind and even if I know it's not the wisest choice, I can't help but want to see that person...It's my last choice...
So, before I know it, I'm outside trying to walk through the pain in a certain direction. I don't know what came over me.
I'm in so much pain right now but I'm still determined to get some help.
I'm walking in the direction of the only house I know there is someone in it. Ugh, why am I doing this again? Yes, I know I need some help and that person is my last choice.
Argh, it's picking up again. I nearly fall on the ground but I force myself to continue walking.
I really hope he's in his house because I don't think I can keep up much longer. It's only getting worse.
There's only a few minutes left. Come on Theo you can do it!
At least I grabbed a hoodie that still fits me before I left. Some people are looking at me weirdly.
Argh, I can't keep ignoring to pain. It feels like I almost can't walk anymore. That's how much pain I'm in right now. Right now I'm so desperate to get some help from the person I want that I somehow manage to continue even if I should be in a Hospital right now.
I struggle to walk for a few more minutes but I finally reach for the desired house. I'm close to collapsing. I can feel a deep pressure down there and I know it's not good but I walk out to the front porch with wobbling legs. I somehow ring the doorbell.
Someone opens the door after a few long seconds. Right as the said person does I fall on the ground out of pure pain.
"Omg, what are you doing here Theo?! Are you okay?! No wait ugh," The said person panics once he realizes the state I'm in and my heavily pregnant bump.
"Tobias, I'm sorry but you have to leave I have some urgent things to do!" He yells out.
"Hey! We were having fun a few minutes ago, who's at the door, Nathan?!" Tobias yells back.
"Just ugh, leave! It's urgent ok?!"
I halfway listen to them as I'm in way too much pain to listen to them. I'm struggling to breathe as I continue to have contractions even closer if that's even possible.
"Ok fine..."
It doesn't take long for the Tobias guy to come outside. Once he comes out he looks at me and then snorts once he sees what's happening. He then leaves as told.
"Theo! What are you doing here?! I thought we told each other we won't see each other anymore!" I pant and struggle to speak.
"I...help me...Nathan..." He looks down at me and starts to panic again.
"So this is serious?! It truly wasn't a joke?! Why are you even here?! Oh no, what are we gonna do?!"
"I don't know do something!?" He looks at me again before talking again.
"You're about to give birth, right?" He says utterly confused and anxious.
"Stop asking questions and help me!"
"Ok, ok," He paces a few seconds and it seems like he finally has an idea in his head.
"We're heading to the Hospital. You need to be there ASAP. All I know is that we need to go before it's too late. Can you stand up?"
I attempt to but the pressure in my lower pelvis blocks me from doing so. He notices my obvious failure to get up.
"Uh...I have no choice but to do this. I hope you won't mind."
He starts trying to pick me up in his arms, carrying me like a princess. Oh wow, it feels like I'm in a movie right now. I don't have time to think as pain is taking over my mind. He walks over to his car and opens the door to put me down on the front seat.
"Ow, it hurts Nathan..."
"I know but you gotta wait some more ok?"
He talks as if he knows what kind of pain I'm going through right now. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know anything about that through.
He walks up to the front seat and attaches his seatbelt and mine. He seemed a lot more panicked earlier but it seems like he's trying to calm down since he needs to drive.
He starts the car and we leave the parking lot. I breathe in and out trying to get through the pain. He tries to reassure me as much as he can. I know he doesn't know what to do about this but I'll remember to thank him for helping me.
We ended up arriving at the Hospital not too long after.
———————-
Nathan's pov
I'm freaking out right now. I really don't know what happened in the past hour.
One minute I was chilling after hooking up with Tobias and the next I was driving Theo to the Hospital because he's gonna give birth to...Yeah, it's terrifying, I hope everything will be alright.
I'm waiting in the waiting room because they won't let me in the C-section room. That's good because I don't think I can support seeing all of that.
I still can't believe this is happening for real. I still thought it was just an excuse for him to cut off connections with me.
It seemed more real when it was clear towards the end of the school year that he was pregnant but I don't know, I just refused to believe that was real.
By now with everything going on right now it's clear that everything is real. I'm still 17 for f**k's sake.
We might not talk to each other anymore but I'm not cruel to the point that I wouldn't have helped him earlier.
When I looked at him I could tell he was in intense pain and it looked insanely painful so much it was terrifying to see.
I panicked, I didn't know what to do. Luckily he's in a safe place right now.
I feel guilty right now. Now that I think about it, it feels like I've been cheating on him even if it's over between us. Even if it was over between us, I still had it for him. I still like him...
Ugh, I'm getting anxious...I keep tapping my foot on the floor. It's been almost an hour now. Soon it's gonna be time to eat dinner.
I wonder if he called his mom or someone else to come in here. I kind of wish deep down that the answer is a no. I don't want to see her and his friends...they must hate my guts right now.
I wonder if Theo dating Ben now? No! Stop thinking about that!
If he came to me is that I'm still the number one person he wants...if only he wasn't pregnant...what if...Ugh, stop it! Why can't I stop thinking about that?! This is not the time!
As I'm about to head to smoke for the third time in an hour, the doctor comes out.
"Are you the father of the baby?"
"Uh, yes?"
"You've been requested by the patient."
"Uh, is the baby born yet?" I style my hair anxiously.
"Yes, she is born."
"Oh..."
The doctor lets me come in and I see Theo lying in a bed with I presume his baby.
It's weird to see him in this kind of state. He has a hospital gown. He's holding our...baby? Wow...our...baby...
"Hey..."
"Hey..." The nurses and the doctor leave at Theo's request.
"Um...thanks...you really saved me there..."
"I only did what I had to do in that case."
"I could've died you know?" Sh*t, I didn't know it was that bad.
"Oh..."
"Yeah..."
"Did you call your mom or your friends to come here?"
"Um, not yet I'll call them later. I still wish to rest after this whole thing." He chuckles lightly.
"Ok"
It's awkward between us. It's weird to see him with a baby in his arms. I never in a million years thought this would've happened. I wasn't even sure I wanted kids in the first place.
What now...what should I do? Do I keep him company or do I leave and completely disappear from his life as I planned to?
I feel guilty right now. I feel conflicted right now.
It's now a little past 7 o'clock and I still haven't eaten yet. The sun just set down a few moments ago. He looks up at me.
"Do...do you want to hold her...?"
Oh, I wasn't expecting this. I look at the baby in his arms. Should I? She's my kid after all right?
"Ok"
He lifts her and places her in my arms. I hold her correctly. I look at her, wow...she this...this is f**king real. It seems like I'm in a f**ked-up dream right now.
She opens her eyes lightly. Aww, I can't help but want to fall in love with her. She's so...cute. I can't believe that's my kid and even more so I can't believe I have a child with a Theo.
She looks so pretty and cute with her little eyes, struggling to open them to look at me.
There's a window close to where I'm standing outside and I look outside. There, I notice the moon in the sky, a full moon at that. Then I look back at the baby in my arms and without thinking, a word comes out of my mouth.
"Moonlight"
"What?"
"Moonlight, I think we should name her that."
He looks confused trying to understand if I'm joking or not but realizes that I'm dead serious about it.
"Moonlight? I never heard of that name. Why that name?"
"I don't know it's just there's a full moon outside and I don't know she reminds me of one." He looks out the window and lights up in astonishment.
"Oh, you're right...but Nathan are you sure about it? This is serious she's gonna have that name all her life."
"Yes, I'm dead serious."
"Ok...it's just...are you even gonna be part of her life? Why should you have the right to name her?" He's right about that.
"Uh, I don't know Theo I'm only 17 and you're 18, I'm pretty sure you were planning to raise her alone. If I were a lot older maybe I would've been ready to become a dad but I'm not okay?
You were pregnant for the past almost 10 months so you already prepared yourself for this and I did not. Heck, we weren't on a talking basis before today!
I didn't truly believe that what you were telling me was fully true. I'm just...ugh, I don't want to seem like I'm abandoning you.."
"No, it's fine I understand..." He looks at me sadly.
"But it's not right what I want to do. Are you sure you'll raise her fine? I think you will through. I still trust you nonetheless.
Imagine if I wanted to have a part in her life. What would happen to us? What will happen to me or you? What about your friends and your mom? They hate my guts I'm sure!"
"Calm down Nathan you have a baby in your arms."
"Sorry, it's just you get it now, do you?
"Yeah..."
It remains silent for what feels like a minute.
"Um...should she...do you want her to have your last name?" I ponder his question for a few seconds.
"Well...I think it's up to you. Normally Moonlight having my last name would be the norm for everyone but if you don't want anyone to question you about it and you want people to know that you're her father. Then you should use your last name.
After all, I don't think it's a good idea that I'm in her life. Like I said we just can't work out together. I'm not ready to put up with a relationship for the sake of a child...I'm sorry Theo I really do..." He starts to tear up.
"It's fine I understand Nathan no need to explain yourself. I don't blame you...I'm at fault here."
"No, you're not I'm the one to blame."
"I knew I had that condition and I didn't care enough to tell you to use a condom. That's on me. Even worse, I never told you as I was scared that you wouldn't want to have sex with me anymore."
"Let's stop blaming each other. It's kinda late and I would like to get some fast food. Um, do you still want me to visit one last time tomorrow?"
"No, just today is enough. Oh, and I think I'll give her your last name. The whole world knows I'm gay by now and I just have to tell them she's adopted or something."
"Oh ok...uh, you still have my number right?"
"Yes?"
"Keep it in case of an emergency."
"Ok..."
It remains silent for a little while. It's a comfortable silence through.
I take the time to look at Moonlight one last time. She's pretty, she seems to have brown hair though I don't know if it'll go lighter like Theo or darker like me.
I can't really see her eyes but for now, it seems like it's blue. Babies tend to have blue eyes at birth so I don't know if it's because she's got my genes. She looks more like...Hm yeah, she looks mostly like me.
I kinda feel guilty for Theo I hope she won't turn out just like me. I much rather wish for her to be perfect like her papa. I don't want her to become a bad girl like me even though I know that it's not good to be me. I put her back in Theo's arms.
"Are the nurses gonna come back soon?"
"Probably?
"Um then, I think it's time I go now.."
I debated whether I should kiss him or not. It'll be like a goodbye kiss for real now. I ended up doing that. He seems surprised at first but he lets me. This kiss doesn't last long as it's more gentle and sweet. He looks back at me.
"Why'd you kiss me...?"
"It's...a goodbye kiss..."
"Stop you'll make me tear up again." I chuckle slightly.
"I hope you'll take good care of her and take care of yourself too."
"Yes, I will."
"Take care,"
I look at him one last time and leave the room. And with that, it was the last time I saw him for a very long time.
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