“You’re late!” Winifred smacked my forehead as I led Sebastian into the winery, her bright pink dress flowing around her.
“Sorry. We were uh… busy,” I laughed, hugging her, “where is everyone?”
"They're in the vineyard. I was checking on Mylo. Dad is in ultimate grandpa mode. So I’m not worried.”
“Wait,” Sebastian tilted his head confused, “why is Serenity at a winery? She cannot drink.”
“We know but she felt left out so she wanted to come. She’s planning to buy a few bottles to drink after Alys is born,” Winifred smiled, hooking her arm through Sebastian’s.
“Alys?” I looked at her confused, fixing the collar of my turtleneck and wincing a bit as Sebastian had dug his nails so deeply into my nape that my skin burned.
“It’s Alice. Not Elise. Like Allison. Alys Natalya. After our grandmas. She just changed it a little. I’m already Winifred Natalie after all.”
“Ah,” Sebastian nodded, a strange limp to his step and I realized that I had gone too rough during our 7 hour session this morning, “Grayson’s maman yes?”
“Mhm. Natalie Georgia Walker.”
“That’s a beautiful name. I love it. Oh!” Sebastian smiled brightly, “Lin!”
“Bas!” Lincoln called back, running over to hug Sebastian and I looked at them confused, “we text a lot. We’re best friends,” Lincoln shrugged, looking at me, “anyway. I need your help. Pretty sure Si is about to murder Nita.”
“Why?” I sighed softly, following them into a small grove area with seating, Serenity and Garett on one side of the table as Silas sat on the other, his arms across his chest, “okay this is supposed to be a fun trip with siblings and partners so why are we fightin’ now?”
“Because Silas won’t name the stupid baby after me!” Serenity grumbled.
“What baby?”
“Surprise!” Lincoln laughed, pulling a sonogram out of his pocket and handing it to me, “I’m pregnant. 16 weeks. So we don’t know the gender yet.”
“Which is why we can’t name the freaking baby after you, Nita. We don't even know if it’s a girl,” Silas sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“So ya knew you were pregnant when ya came to Montana?” I laughed, hugging Lincoln.
“Mhm. It’s why I came. I wanted to meet my in-laws before our baby was born. Seemed important,” he sat next to Silas, kissing him softly on the cheek and I took one side of the table, pulling Sebastian into my lap.
“So many babies,” Sebastian giggled, “oh I am so happy for all of you! Congratulations.”
“Thanks,” Silas finally smiled, “at this point we’re naming the baby after my favorite person in the world.”
“Who?” Serenity took a small sip of water as she rubbed her stomach.
“Oliver.”
“Me?” I sputtered, “no.”
“Mhm,” Lincoln nodded, “Gregory Oliver or Olivia Maria.”
“Maria?” Sebastian tilted his head.
“Yes. Maria.”
“But that was my name.”
“Ah. I forgot. We would never want to dead-name you by naming our baby after you that way. Hm… Olivia…”
“Mae.”
“Huh?” Lincoln looked at Sebastian in surprise as I softly rubbed Sebastian’s stomach.
“I have a sister,” Sebastian whispered, “um I had a sister. Annelise. Which is why my middle name is Ansel. Annelise Mae. Olivia Mae Hope is a beautiful name.”
“What do you mean had?” Winifred called softly, leaning against Garett.
“We are all family, oui?”
“Yes,” Serenity answered immediately, “we’re your siblings now too.”
“Merci, Nita. When I was 17, a brand new bébé was brought to the orphanage. A little girl. With strawberry blonde hair and two different colored eyes, the exact same as mine. Her name was Annelise. She was beautiful. Slept a lot. I left the orphanage but had been allowed to take care of her for a long time. They always did a blood test when two children in the orphanage looked similar. It was shown that this tiny enfant was my sister. She’s… 6 now. I think. If not almost 6.”
“But that doesn’t explain your use of was, my love,” I kissed his cheek softly before wiping a tear away.
“She was adopted,” he smiled gently, “by a family in America. I asked the orphanage because I wanted to adopt her. She is my sister after all, I had rights to her. Until… I found out she had loving parents and three brothers. They always wanted a girl and could not get pregnant anymore. So they adopted Annelise. They call her Annie. I do not talk to her. I would not want to confuse her. But her parents send me updates. They are named Colby and Lyla Wilkerson. Live in Wyoming I believe. She’s beautiful, intelligent. Loves her older brothers. I am happy knowing that Annie is. She is with her family. I am blood that is true but that does not make me her family. I would never want to be involved because it would be too much. She does not know she is adopted. She looks like their family. So I will be happy to live through pictures and videos that her parents send and know that she is okay. I have offered many times to send money for her care but they will not allow it. They want me to care for myself and be happy. I am now. They told me that if they had known I was 17 and her sibling when they were adopting Annelise they would have taken me as well. But no one mentioned it to them at the orphanage. So I was gone when they finally found out. They found me,” he laughed softly, “sent me an email. But I do not wish to join their family. Because we are one,” he smiled up at me and I kissed him softly, “I just hope that if Annie ever finds out she is not mad at them for hiding me. I asked them to do so.”
“Sebastian…” Winifred wiped a tear away, “I am so happy you have another person out there. Even if Annie isn’t part of your life, you have that blood connection to someone else in the world.”
“And we will name her Olivia Mae if she’s a girl,” Silas cleared his throat, trying to hide the fact he was crying as well.
“Merci,” Sebastian nodded, “now. Where is the wine? I can’t handle much more without it.”
I laughed softly and we slowly began the wine tasting, everyone full of joy and peace as we shared time together, something that hadn’t happened truly in years.
“Tell me Garett,” Sebastian smiled as we walked out of the 6th winery, his steps a bit stumbling and I picked him up, carrying him on my back, “oh. Merci, mon amour. Anyway, how did you manage to get Serenity? She is far too beautiful for you.”
“Jesus you’re mean when you’ve been drinking,” Garett snorted, helping Serenity into their rental car, “I’ve known her since we were kids.”
“High school sweethearts,” Serenity smiled lovingly at Garett, “no different than Winnie and Sid.”
“Yeah but they didn’t break up because someone is a fuckin’ idiot,” I poked Garett and he grumbled at me.
“Whatever! We only broke up because we were going to different colleges and couldn’t figure out how to make it work.”
“Should’ve just done what I did,” Sidney slurred, leaning against Winifred, “shown up and begged on your hands and knees.”
“We were still a couple, you moron I just lived in Los Angeles,” Winifred laughed, “get in the car,” she shoved Sidney into the backseat and climbed in next to him, “we’ll see you at the wedding!”
“See ya tomorrow,” I smiled, watching all of them leave before setting Sebastian carefully into the passenger seat of my car, “how ya feelin’ baby?”
“Wonderful. A bit buzzed but nowhere near as bad as I can get. We were just tasting after all. I have never understood why people spit out perfectly good wine. You did it.”
“Because I won’t drive if I have alcohol in my system and especially not if you’re in the car. After my accident, I refuse. I can’t have anythin’ happen to ya.”
“I know,” he kissed my arm and I headed around, getting into the driver's seat and starting the car, “we shouldn’t mess around when we get back to the villa. I am too sore.”
“I figured,” I laughed, heading onto the road, “I could see how you were walkin’. I promise to not be so rough or go as long anymore. I was pent up and my boyfriend feels absolutely wonderful wrapped around me.”
“You feel fantastic as well,” he laughed in response, reaching over to rub my leg, “how is your leg?”
“Fine. A bit sore. I think I’ll go in the pool when we get back.”
“It is freezing!”
“The pool is heated. Would ya like to swim with me?”
“Of course. We didn’t last night.”
“We had too much to talk about. Now we can swim and enjoy ourselves.”
“Perfetto.”
“Hey, that's italian!”
“I’m trying,” he shrugged and I gently squeezed his arm.
“I appreciate you. I… love you, Bas.”
“And I love you more, Oliver.”
“Absolutely not,” I snorted, pulling up to the villa, “there ain’t no way ya love me more than I love you.”
“I disagree,” he undid his seatbelt and suddenly climbed over, sitting in my lap, “I absolutely love you more.”
“Your ass is gonna hit the horn,” I laughed, pulling him closer, my hands on his rear, “agree to disagree?”
“I do not know that phrase.”
“It means we decide to just let it go. I will always think I love you more and you will always think you love me more. That’s all.”
“Oh! Oui. Agree to disagree.”
“Wonderful. Let’s clean up and swim.”
“Yay!”
After a few hours of swimming followed by dinner, we wrapped up the evening cuddling on the couch, the light of the fireplace flickering over us as we held each other, neither of us speaking, simply enjoying each others presence as the waves crashed against the rocks below the villa, Aldo sleeping on a rug near the fireplace.
“Oliver?” Sebastian whispered and I kissed the back of his head.
“Hm?”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Anything. I’m your partner.”
“I have been pregnant before,” he pressed closer to me and I squeezed him tighter, “a few times. Before I knew how important getting my IUD was.”
“Okay.”
“I lost three of them. Miscarriage. One I had an… um… I had it removed.”
“Ah,” I nodded, “thank you for tellin’ me. For feelin’ open enough to share that. It can’t be easy to think about.”
“No. Not at all,” he sniffled, “I was too young. Only 19. I wasn’t ready to be a Papa.”
“That’s okay, Sebastian. Ya did what ya knew was right for ya at the time.”
“Mhm. I just hope that when I get to Heaven they forgive me for taking away their chance at life. But I would have been unable to care for them. They also… they would have died anyway. No heart. So I would have been forced to give birth to a child who was gone regardless and I could not handle that.”
“Do ya want to know what my belief is?”
“Ah, we have never talked about your thoughts on death and heaven. Please.”
“Well. I believe that everyone is reborn. So the four babies that you would have had right now are already back here on Earth. Safe, warm and loved. Sky and I… we lost a baby. I think that’s what kept us together so long. Just the fact that we were both broken over it. It really hurt and… you’re the only person I’ve ever told. The baby was a surprise. One we wanted we were so excited but he… the baby simply wasn’t strong enough. That’s all. Now that Skylar has ten kids I wonder if it had anything to do with me…”
“Non,” he shook his head, rolling over to face me, “sometimes, our genetics do not match well with the other person. That is all. Or the baby simply wasn’t ready. Do not blame yourself. It is no one's fault.”
“As long as ya don’t do the same my love,” I whispered, kissing him softly, “it was never your fault.”
“I know. But it… I am scared, Oliver. For the future. When we decide we are ready to have children. I have already lost so many. What if it keeps happening?”
“Then we adopt. Or use science. They can combine our material and implant it right here,” I softly touched his stomach and he smiled, tears in his eyes, “ya really want that connection of carrying a baby. Don't you?”
“Mhm. I do.”
“Then I will never stop tryin’ to make sure that can happen for you. For us, Sebastian. I promise.”
“Oliver…” he whispered and slowly kissed me, his hand tight on my arm and we slowly fell into each other, Sebastian mewing softly as I held him close, his leg tight around my waist, the fire keeping us warm as all of our clothing had been abandoned on the floor, “you feel amazing, Daddy…”
“So do you, kitten. Does it hurt?” I panted softly, burying my face in his hair.
“A little sore but nothing too bad. Just keep it slow.”
“Of course. Anythin’ ya want from me. Always.”
We carried on for a while, entirely connected, Sebastian holding me tighter than he ever had, and I realized that he was crying for an unknown time since we had come to Italy.
“Baby you’re cryin’...” I kissed his tears away slowly, bringing the movement of my hips to a stop.
“I am so confused by why you are so gentle with me… it has never happened before.”
“Because I love you, Bas. You need it gentle. Need that love. That connection. I don’t mind goin’ hard and fast sometimes. I love that too. To hear you scream and cry out my name. But this… I need this. To know that you are here. In my arms. That ya love me. It makes everythin’ real for me. It’s different because you’ve never been loved, baby. But I love you. So much. So much more than I thought I was capable of and I will do anythin’ ya ever need to keep showin’ you that this is what I want. You. You are all I will ever want and need. Let my company collapse. My homes be sold. I don’t care. As long as I have you, Sebastian then I am the luckiest man in the universe.”
“Oliver,” he stared at me wide eyed before the most dazzling smile I had ever seen graced his face, “oh Oliver I love you so much,” he started rapidly kissing me, “no matter what happens. Parallel disappears or we lose our homes. I will never leave you. There is nothing I want more than this. Than you. Your heart. It is beautiful, gentle, wonderful. I can handle your issues with anger as long as I see this man. This beautiful golden hearted man,” he started moving his hips again and I groaned, leaning my head back, “can we sleep here? Just like this?”
“Ya want me to stay inside all night?” I panted, gripping his rear with the hand closest to it.
“Oui. So when we wake up I can continue.”
“Of course. Oh of course baby. Whatever… whatever ya want… Let Daddy put you to sleep okay. Just hold onto me.”
“Oui. Oh, oui. Juste là. Continue, ne t'arrête pas. Je suis si proche, Daddy. Fuck!” he cried out, his entire body shaking and I pressed him further against the back of the couch, going harder than before, “yes oh my God!”
“Ride it out, kitten, keep going. As many… as many as ya can give… give me and I… oh fuck me,” I bit down on his neck, gripping the back of the couch as tightly as I could, “jesus don’t squeeze me like that.”
“I can’t help it,” he had never opened his eyes, his body trembling, “A… another one is…”
“Okay. Okay hold on… here… here we… Sebastian,” I growled loudly as I released, my fingers scratching up the back of the couch as I continued moving, waiting until I was entirely done to slow, “Fuck baby. So good.”
Sebastian didn’t reply and I ran my fingers through his hair, trying to rouse him.
I actually did put him to sleep.
Wore him out.
I want to clean him a little but he won’t move.
Whatever.
I’m exhausted.
With one last small movement, I pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and covered us, gripping his thigh around my waist to keep myself where I was, the warmth wonderful and overwhelming all at once.
Beautiful kitten.
How I adore you.
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