Emilia

“There you are.” Her high-pitched voice cuts through the din of the busy dining room and as if on cue, everything goes quiet. 

With an apologetic grin, I place Mr. Souder’s lunch in front of him and ask, “Can I get you anything else?”

“No, my dear, I’m all set.” Over my shoulder, he addresses my pain-in-the-ass best friend. “Well hello there, Miss Jennifer.”

“Hi, Mr. Souder.” It’s incredible how her voice can go from shrill and scathing one minute to small-town sweetness the next. “How have you been?”

“Great. I’m healthy as a horse and wise as an old fella. Can’t get much better than that.” He gives her a grandfatherly smile before cupping a hand to his mouth like he’s telling her a secret. “Now you go easy on Miss Emilia. Whatever she’s done, I can’t imagine she meant any harm.” 

“Oh, I’ll do my very best, Mr. Souder.” When she looks at me with her fake angelic smile, my stomach drops. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about, now I’ve got an angry best friend on my hands.

With a final nod, I leave Mr. Souder to enjoy his food. Knowing this conversation requires privacy, I weave my way through the lunchtime crowd. Rosie’s Diner is packed with the familiar faces of Ruby Creek residents and a few others I don’t recognize. My aunt and uncle opened this place when they first married, and since then it’s become a well-known icon that pulls tourists from surrounding towns. 

What makes it special aside from the food is the feel. Walking through the door is like you’re transported back in time. Black and white checkerboard tiles line the floors. The bright red accents mixed in with paraphernalia from days of old go a long way toward making the illusion complete. My favorite touch is the red and white pinstripe waitressing uniforms, which look the part of what a server in the 1950s would have worn. 

Walking past the registers, I let Aunt Rosie know that I’m taking a quick break, then I walk past the kitchen, through the hall that leads to the back office. I can feel Jen’s angry eyes on my back, which is how I know she’s following close behind. 

“So, this is how you’re spending your summer now?” She starts the minute she makes it over the threshold. 

Closing the door, I turn to face my angry friend. “Yes. I’m working, earning money. Developing life skills which I hear come highly recommended.” 

“Don’t you dare take that condescending tone with me, Emilia Jane Barette. It was a legitimate question, given that we were sitting in your room four days ago talking about our summer plans. Not once did you mention you’d be working at the diner.”

She’s right. Working the summer away wasn’t part of the plan, but after the fight with Lucas and everything that’s happened since, I needed a break. A distraction. Something to occupy my time and take my mind off the mess my life has suddenly become. 

“I had to do something, Jen.” I throw my hands up in frustration. “My mom hates me, which was fine when she wasn’t around, but since the cookout, she hasn’t left. My dad, who pretended our family wasn’t on the brink of collapse for months, has picked up where he left off as if her absence never happened. And then there’s this thing between Lucas and Parker.” I shake my head and take a breath. “I needed a break, Jen. For once in my life, I needed to do something that was for me.”

When her eyes soften, she flings her arms around me, before quickly pulling away and tugging me to sit next to her on the couch. 

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t know about your mom coming back. So that’s what this is about? A way to be out of the house and away from her?”

“Yes.” It’s the truth, just not the entire truth since I’m still struggling with how to explain what’s happening between her brother and me. “Something happened, either at the barbeque or later that night, but whatever it was, things between my parents changed. She came home and never left, but now that she’s there, it’s like she resents it. And my dad, though he’s acting like everything is normal, he’s different. Sadder. More withdrawn. I can’t explain it. Three days is all I could take before I called Aunt Rosie and begged her for a job. That was yesterday.”

“Geez, Emmie. I didn’t know. Why didn’t you call me?”

“Because it isn’t your problem. Plus, I knew you’re busy helping your mom with her summer camp program. I didn’t want to burden you.” What I don’t say is that I didn’t want news of my crappy home life getting back to Lucas since he comes running anytime he hears I’m having a hard time. After what happened on Saturday, I’m not yet ready to see him.

“It’s not a burden. How can you say that? You’re my best friend…”

“I know,” I cut her off, reaching for both her hands and meeting her eyes. “It doesn’t feel like a burden to you, but here’s the thing, I’m barely processing all the changes happening in my life. I needed a second to… I don’t know, sit with the mess inside my head. I promise I was going to call you tonight to tell you.” 

“Can I ask you something?” When she fidgets nervously, I know what’s coming.

“If it’s about your brother, I rather not go there.”

“Come on, Emmie.” She pulls her hands away and stands. “What the hell happened? He’s sitting at home grounded and sulking, while you’re here hiding behind a waitressing uniform. Neither of you is talking to one another, let alone the rest of us. And Parker is walking around with that stupid smirk, preening like the cat who caught the canary, clearly proud he knows something the rest of us don’t.”

“You saw what happened, Jen. Everyone did.”

“No. I’m not talking about my brother punching Parker’s lights out. I’m talking about what led up to Lucas losing control like that. That’s not like him, Emilia. And you, of all people, know that.”

Deflated, I drop my head. This right here is another reason I didn’t reach out to her before now. I'm terrified of what my friend will think when she realizes I’m in love with her brother. Unfortunately for me, she is relentless in her curiosity, so I knew the events of that night would eventually come up. 

“I don’t even know where to start.” 

“Jesus. It’s that bad?” She plops down beside me, a leg curled underneath her so she’s facing me. “Maybe, just rip the band-aid and spit it out.”

“Parker asked if I’d go to the bonfire with him.” 

“Oh. Oooh, I see. So Lucas went all brotherly protector and used his fists to fire a warning shot.” There’s a second where I almost correct her assumption, but that cowardly part of me chooses the easy way out and nods. Maybe it’s better this way. That she assumes his actions that night link back to his need to protect us. “What is wrong with him?” she scoffs. “He can’t control who we choose to go out with. We don’t go around telling him who to date, so where the hell does he get off meddling in our lives?”

“It’s because he cares.” Unable to help myself, I jump to his defense. Especially as my stomach churns with the unspoken truth I’m not ready to disclose to her. “He’s worried Parker won’t treat me right.”

“Like you would let him get away with that, never mind the rest of us. Please. It’s insulting how helpless he thinks we are.”

Inside, I cringe at her words since they aren’t an accurate representation of who Lucas is. Mostly, he’s happy to let us figure life out, while he stands on the sidelines making sure we’re all right. If I wasn’t so afraid of her hating me, I would remind her of this and explain that his actions this weekend stem from our unresolved feelings for one another.

“So, what now? Are you going to the bonfire with Parker?”

“I don’t know.” I shrug, feeling the weight of the decision hanging heavy over me. “Parker and I are friends, you know? Going with him was more about having someone to go with than anything romantic. But the way Lucas took it…” I break off for fear of giving away too much. 

“Stop letting my brother control you, Emi.” She raises a hand to stop me when I try to defend myself. “Don’t pretend you don’t go around rearranging your life for him. It’s your fatal flaw. Whatever he wants, you bend over backward to give him.”

As much as I wish I could deny it, she’s right. It’s yet another reason I started this job. For as long as I can remember, I’ve planned my summers around him. Around his availability. Around his wants and wishes. I’ve grown too dependent on him to the point that doing anything without him feels wrong. But after the way he humiliated me on Saturday, doing what I’ve always done is a sure guarantee of more heartbreak.

“Come on, Emi!” She tosses her hands up in exasperation. “You said you took this job because, for once, you wanted to do something for yourself. So, take that rationale and apply it to the bonfire. What is it that Emilia wants?”

“I don’t know…” 

“Bullshit.”

“I’m serious, Jen. I have a better sense of what I don’t want to happen than I do about anything else.”

“Fine. Start there. What is it you’re afraid of?”

“I don’t want to hurt either of them.” At this, she raises an eyebrow, which is a reminder that she’s unaware of the truth behind all the tension. Backpedaling, I rush on. “I don’t want Lucas to be angry with me for not heeding his concerns, and I don’t want Parker thinking I believe him to be a bad person because of the things Luc says. Plus, underneath all that male ego, they’re friends. Who am I to stand in the way of that?”

“Not your problem, Emi. Nor your responsibility. They’re big boys. Whatever dick-measuring drama is going on between them, it’s just that, between them.”

“Easy for you to say. I’m the one caught in the middle. Whatever I decide, someone is bound to get hurt, and I’m not sure I can live with that.”

With eyes full of pity, she shakes her head and delivers one last crushing blow. “And what about you? Did either of them consider your feelings when they put you in the middle of whatever is happening between them?”

As emotion burns in my throat, I shake my head and lower my gaze. While Parker isn’t innocent in all this, it’s Lucas who’s led us to where we are. He’s the one who insisted nothing could happen between us, yet the minute someone else came into the picture, he directed his frustrations toward me. 

“You’re right,” I confess with a sigh.

“I know I am. So, what’s it going to be Emilia? Bonfire with a cute boy, all your friends, and a mighty good time? Or, sitting at home sulking with mommy dearest at your back?”