Emilia

“Wow…” he trails off. The way his eyes scan over me with intense appreciation does nothing to calm the nerves that have plagued me since agreeing to this date. “You look amazing.”

Unable to hold his gaze, I make the mistake of looking down at my dress. Not for the first time today, I’m hit with a pang of guilt that nearly steals my breath.

Of all the dresses in Nic’s closet, why did I pick this one?

Not that the off-the-shoulder floral print dress isn’t beautiful. With its cinched waist and short flowy skirt, it fits me like a glove and accentuates my shoulders and legs in a sexy, yet modest way. The problem is, it happens to be the same color as the sea-green eyes of the boy I can’t stop thinking about. The very same boy whom I wish was the person standing in front of me now.

“Thank you,” I shift nervously, tucking a loose curl behind my ear while averting my eyes to the collar of his shirt.

Parker is an attractive guy. Blond hair, blue eyes, athletic build, and a chiseled jaw few could resist. Today he’s sporting khaki shorts with a moss green button-up shirt that’s rolled up at his elbows and shows off his wide chest and slim waist. He’s the type of guy who knows he’s attractive and, given the smirk he’s pointing my way, he’s well aware I was checking him out.

My cheeks heat under the weight of his assessing stare, while tendrils of guilt and embarrassment coil into a ball that sits heavy in the pit of my stomach. I shouldn’t have agreed to this. All the bravado that led me to say yes was a byproduct of the hurt and humiliation I felt at that moment, but now? Now I wish I’d reached out to Lucas to clear the air. So, at the very least, I’d be sure that going out with Parker tonight won’t interfere with our friendship.  

“Mr. Preston,” Parker greets, extending his hand to my dad, who’s come up behind me.

“Parker.” Dad wraps an arm over my shoulder as he shakes my date’s hand. “Good to see you.”

“Likewise, sir.”

“I see you’re driving tonight,” Dad juts his chin toward the black pickup truck parked at the curb. “No alcohol for either of you, you hear?” he looks down at me briefly before turning back to my date. “I’m entrusting you with my daughter. Don’t do anything that would jeopardize that trust and have her home safe and sound by no later than midnight. Do that and maybe they’ll be a next time.”

After saying our goodbyes, Parker leads me to his truck. The ride to Ruby Creek Park is awkward. The silence that hangs between us is nothing like the soothing quiet that exists when it’s just Lucas and me. After almost a week of no contact, I miss him intensely. The sound of his voice. His soothing presence. The silent show of support and acceptance that takes away all my insecurities whenever he looks at me. Inadvertently, I expel a heavy sigh.

From the driver’s seat, Parker glances my way. “You okay over there?”

Am I okay? No. I’m the opposite of okay, given that nothing about tonight feels right. Dressing up for Parker. Agreeing to go on a date with him. Going against Lucas’s wishes. No… I am definitely not alright.

“Parker…” it’s all I can manage before my shoulders deflate. I have to tell him what this is. Somehow I must find the words to communicate that for me, tonight is nothing more than two friends hanging out together.

“It’s okay, Emi.” When I look at him, his eyes are back on the road. “You’re not that into me, which is crazy, I know.” His lips pull into that mischievous smirk of his that’s somehow adorable and charming. “But hey, I get it. Some girls like a guy with skilled hands, while others prefer the bossy asshole who snatches the ball from another dude’s ass.”

“Really?” I laugh. “Another football joke?” It takes a second for me to realize he’s just mentioned my feelings for Lucas, and when it registers, I fall silent.

“Hey,” he reaches out and lays a hand over mine in a friendly gesture. “Don’t be embarrassed. If you overlook the annoying brooding and the fact he’s an alphahole with a weak right hook, Holt ain’t that bad.”

He knows. How?

“Don’t look so shocked, beautiful. I have eyes, including the one currently sporting a shiner courtesy of your Romeo,” he chuckles. “Dude is head over heels in love with you and has been since before he started growing hair on his chest.”

“So why? If you know he likes me, why would you ask me to go to the bonfire with you?”

“To get under his skin, of course.” At this, my stomach drops. Something he must sense, for he takes my hand in his. “I didn’t mean it like that, okay? You’re a beautiful girl, Emilia. Prettier than most because your beauty isn’t only on the outside. If it weren’t for Lucas, I’d be honored for even a small chance at a shot with you.”

“Then why? I don’t understand.”

“I asked you out to make him act. To push him out of his holier-than-thou, self-righteous way of thinking that is holding him back from the one thing he wants more than anything. More than football. More than that scholarship he’s chasing.”

“You’re wrong.” What I wouldn’t give for Parker’s words to be true. For Lucas to want and need me with the same intensity that burns through my soul.

“Am I? Think about it. Mr. Always-In-Control kicked the shit out of me in two seconds flat at his family cookout. In front of his parents, the town, and our friends, all because I confronted him with the idea that I had a chance with you. In all the years I’ve known him, I can’t remember him losing control like that,” he pauses like he’s thinking it over, then shakes his head. “Nope. The only time he’s ever let go and given in to what he’s feeling is when it comes to you.”

I want to believe him, but everything I know points to the contrary, including that day two weeks ago on our rock. When we both admitted we had feelings for one another, it was just us and the electric current that pulsed between us and pulled us toward one another like magnets. Yet it was he who put the brakes on. It was he who insisted we ignore what we feel, and go on pretending there is nothing between us except friendship. It was all so easy for him. While I drowned and suffocated in my disappointment and desperation for him, he walked away from me that day with a smile. Like all was well and exactly as it should be in his world.

Friendship.

That’s all he wants from me.

“He doesn’t want this.” Tears well up in my eyes, so I look away. I hate how pathetic I sound. How broken and lonely this ache in my chest makes me feel. It’s like there’s this part of me that is missing. Like there is this gaping hole that nothing or no one can fill but him.

“Trust me. He does.”

“It’s been a week, Parker. One week since he broke my… since the cookout and fight. He never reached out. Not once to apologize or to check-in. He’s angry with me. Done with whatever this is. Me being here with you tonight won’t change that.” My voice breaks and the tears I’d been holding back now fall unbidden.

Grateful for the darkness that surrounds us, I quietly wipe them away. Parker must know I need a moment, for he too falls silent. The sounds of the road beneath the tires of his truck build into a soothing rhythm that allows me to pull myself back from the brink of despair.

As we pass the sign welcoming us to Ruby Creek Park, he finally says, “He didn’t reach out to any of us either. The only one that’s spoken to him is Jen, and even she’s had a tough time getting through to see what he’s thinking.”

“Jen said he’s grounded. Disappointing his parents is something he’s not used to, so I’m sure that’s part of it.” What I don’t say is that he’s probably consumed with guilt, and therefore he’s most likely busy punishing himself.

“Maybe. Except that according to Ben, his punishment lasted only four days.” Now that we’re parked, I meet his eyes. “Luc’s mom called Ben yesterday, begging him to come help get Lucas out of the funk he’s in. When Ben got there, Luc did his best to pretend he was grounded and couldn’t have company. Ben said he looked a mess, but he pushed him anyway. Goaded him into getting out of his own way. So we’ll see. My money is that he’ll show up tonight, ready to fight me for what’s rightfully his.”

When he gets out of the car, I sit there in stunned silence. He’s wrong. So wrong, in fact, that I’m angry he’s planted this seed of hope that’s taking root in my heart. Hope is something I cannot afford right now. Not in my current mental state. Especially since I’ve never wanted anything more than what Parker is proposing right now.

When he comes to my side of the door and opens it, he takes my hand and helps me climb down. With his fingers, he pulls my chin up and forces me to look up at him.

“Do you trust me, Emilia?” Gone from his face is the usual gleam of mischief, replaced instead with this serious side he rarely shows. Looking between his eyes, I take a minute to consider, but in the end, there is no question that I do.

“Yes.”

“You two are the best people I know. You both deserve this. To be happy. Together. This little push I’ve given him, he’s going to show. Regardless of what his head is telling him, his heart won’t let you go.”