Disappointed, I walked my way back home. But the road seemed endless. Or maybe I didn't want to return. I'm sure it was the second, but it didn't matter because I didn't reach home until the skies had gone dark. As soon as I came home, my parents hugged me. They had apparently been searching for me because I had run away from the house after suddenly crying. They didn't know what had happened and swore to understand and help me no matter what. They told me that I could tell them anything on my mind. They told me that I could treat them as a friend... that I could trust them with any of my secrets. But this incident had already changed me. I can tell them anything, but I won't. I can tell my secrets to my friends, but I mustn't. The little 15-year-old boy was no more. That day, I had matured. I had understood that this world is too cruel for anyone to be able to do anything about it.
It was late and my mom arranged dinner for us. But first, I had to make a call. Even though I knew it was useless I reached out for the little ray of hope and called Ryan's parents. That hope was crushed with the call. That night, I ate my dinner ever so silently and went to sleep without uttering a single word. But in my own room, where nobody could hear me, where none could see me in this miserable state, I cried my heart out. I hated myself for it. I hated that I wasn't able to do anything when my friends needed me the most. I hated the possibility that I... myself.. was an NPC too.
The next day my father woke me up early. He wanted to show me something that was on the news. All the copies of Lethia, the game we were playing, including the original files from the creators had been fried. All gone at the same time. Even the ones that were not being played at that moment. They believed that the company had tried to implant a self-destructing chip on the CDs to harm the players. But I knew what the truth was. And considering the vast scale of production, a lot more people did too. I started making a list of complaints on online websites. I started tracking people who had played Lethia. The list wasn't very big as our town was on the outskirts and it wasn't as crowded as the cities. But it wasn't going to be possible for me to walk all the way throughout the town and a few neighboring ones. So, I took my bicycle and set out in search of similar people. People who weren't NPCs. It took me less than a week to go around town asking the players about what they remembered that the others didn't. But not even one of them was special. Maybe I was the only one who retained memories. Maybe I was the only one who defeated the mini-boss before everything went wrong. Maybe, I was the one... who made everything go wrong. But I couldn't give up yet. There were still other towns left and a few more days before my vacation ended. I knew cycling all the way was a bit of a stretch, but I still thought that I could make everything better again.
I told my parents I was going out on a trip. A trip to have fun before I entered the hassles of high school. And just as I had expected, they agreed. Next day, I set out of my house early with a bag and my cycle companion. After 30 minutes, I was already at the outskirts. There wasn't much around. Just a bus stop and a general goods store near it.
“Hey kid. You on the bike.”, a voice called out to me. It was the shopkeeper. She was an older woman, maybe in her late 20s. “Are you planning to ride all the way to the next town?”, she asked. “The next bus comes in 10 minutes.”
Sure enough taking the bus would save me time and energy and I had the money to go and return.
“Oh. Ah. Thank You but I can't just abandon my bike.”
“You can park it here. I won't charge you. Just buy a chocolate or something.”, she said while smiling.
That smile was exactly what I needed in times like these.
“Well then. I'll buy um... I'll have one of those there. Here”, I said as I handed over the money.
I waited outside on the bench at the bus stop and in less than two minutes, I was off on my journey. I repeated this for four days, buying a snack or two every time. The fourth was my last day. My list had been crossed out. Not a single of anyone who played it remembered anything at all. There were no more leads. Just like my list, my heart had become empty. I came back from the bus and took my cycle from the store without a word.
“What happened? You look sad. Did something bad happen?”
I immediately put on a smiling mask on my unsightly face. “Nothing. Highschool starts in a few days. Can I continue parking my bike at your shop?”
“Sure dude. And just so you know you don't need to buy something every day.”
We both laughed at it but mine was fake.
After that day, I started locking myself up in my room. Coming out only for food or when I absolutely needed to. My parents were really concerned about me but who were they to tell me what to do. Talking to them never made me feel better about anything. So instead, I started researching Lethia on online forums. I wanted to know everything about it. What was it that made it different from other games. Why did the other world manifest in that one particularly.
High school had started, and my routine changed. Every morning I would ride to the bus stop and catch the bus. It was convenient to have the last seat in the class. Not many classmates tried talking to me. Not that I replied to any of those who did. Only two things mattered to me. The game and my studies. Seeing that my grades were good, the teachers stopped asking me questions too. Physically I was with a lot more people. But mentally I was detached from this world. I was stuck in between the void connecting the two worlds, while existing in neither.
The more I tried to grasp the light shining the path far ahead me, the more I was disappointed. Each time I reached the light, it only pricked me in the eyes and left me in the darkness again. In the class, only once, a group of bullies tried to hurt me. But never again. Because the lifeless look in my eyes bored them. I had degraded far below what I could have ever imagined. I was at the pinnacle of isolation.
Sometimes, I felt so alone, I could kill myself. I tried to strangle myself to death only to realize that my grip loosened when I ran out of breath. I wasn't even brave enough to die. The burden that my friends had left on me was far too great. Sometimes I cursed them for making my life miserable while they died a quick death. Then I would curse myself for even thinking that way.
I had joined the occult club, but I rarely ever attended its activities. I had asked the club-president to text me an overview of whatever they discussed that day. But I never found it useful. I had joined a lot of forums too. Either about the occult and magic or about games. Every day, I woke up at 6:00, brushed my teeth, changed into my uniform, packed my bag and headed downstairs for breakfast. Without even a word of ‘bye’, I would leave on my bicycle at 6:30. Leaving my cycle at the store, I would get the 7:10 bus to the next town and attended classes. I was rarely sick and didn't miss even if I was. After classes, I would go straight back without talking to any classmate or teachers. By 5:00 pm I would be back in my closed room, back to my lonely computer. I refused to go on any outings even if my parents insisted. Sometimes, Mr. and Mrs. Das would come to our house to have a chat with my parents. When they did, Maya would come with them. She tried to indulge with me because she would get bored listening to middle aged people talking about their lives. But even then, I would go back to my locked room after formal greetings. My life had become stale. But I didn't hate it. I didn't have friends, but it only meant that I had more time to study. I was going to make sure that I at least become a rich person with enough power to control people and dig out the information by any means possible.
My life was going in a single line without any fluctuations from anywhere. I had gotten used to being disappointed and hopeless. Even animals didn't interact with me let alone humans. I had become the worst type of NPC that could exist. The type that you only approach if you absolutely have to. But I didn't even get angry with myselfback then. After all, I was the biggest disappointment of my life, bigger than any online rumor could be. But my tranquil life was soon coming to a climax. The academic year was ending. And a major disturbance was going to attack me and my lonely life. I can't really say if it was a good thing or a bad one. But if I ever had a chance to be able to go back in time and prevent it from happening, I wouldn't.
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