After that, I started to talk once again. I kept the story of Lethia to myself, but I shared with them a more convincing story. A story where I had befriended two kittens. I told them that they met an accident while they were running towards me. This way, the darkness was off my chest and at the same time, they didn't have to see it either. Even though the story wasn't entirely true, my heart felt warmer and lighter now. It felt good. It felt the best. I hadn't given up searching for ways to get back to Lethia. But now, I was willing to accept more jobs into my roster. Because it would make no sense if I didn't value the lives I wanted to protect. And to value them, I had to be with them.  

     For the past year, I was weak. If Lethia had decided to come back, I would be overwhelmed instantly. But now, I had friends. I once used to mock the power of friendship from movies or shows. The real power of friendship lay in the hope it gave, in the reason it gave us to protect them, in the support they would give us to shrink the weight. The power of friendship wasn't an absolute power. It was more of a cluster of various powers that were distributed all over inside the bond we shared. 

     I started to participate in the club activities more. I was a bit shy towards other people, but I had taken the first step. I started noticing the people around me. My parents, the shopkeeper, the bus driver and conductor, my teachers, classmates and club members. I started becoming a human again. A human that I had lost in the pursuit of the Main Character. 

     As each day passed, more and more color was added to my life. So much color that the black in it wasn't noticeable anymore. These colors were rehabilitating me after one year of my absence. Who knew doing nothing together would be so fun? Who knew group study sessions could be fun? Who knew that being with these imperfect idiots would be the best thing I could do? 

My routine for the next two years became tighter. Sometimes I even had sleepless nights. After parking my cycle at the shop, we would board the bus together. I didn't scoot away if she sat next to me anymore. In fact, it felt nice. I made another friend who was in the same class as me and the club as well. He was a bit of a punk but I didn't mind his impulsiveness. Maya often would ask me to help with her studies. So, she started visiting my house often. My life had become as lively as before. I had started to forget the tragedy and move on. 

     That year, I spent my birthday with my friends. The friends were different than before, but they were my friends too. I was happy to be with everyone. Especially with Maya. I knew that it was a crush. I decided that I would tell her eventually, but I never did.  

     In my third year in college, president graduated. Everyone voted for me as the next one. But I obviously declined. I voted for my punk friend instead. I wasn't cut out for a leader, but he was. By now, the colors in my life had overwhelmed the darkness. It returned a few times. But it was weak compared to the colors I had obtained.  

     As I had a good knowledge about many different kinds of games, I decided to go abroad to a university where they taught professional game developing. But it had extremely low acceptance rates. My grades weren't a problem. Still, I was going to have to study a lot before trying for its entrance exams. Whenever Maya came by to study, I asked her to take tests from the notes I had prepared for myself. Every time she came by, my feelings for her only grew stronger. But I still kept it inside. I was happy despite her feeling towards me and I didn't want that to change. 

     On the day of my results, me and parents were waiting by the computer constantly. Waiting for that one mail that would decide his future. With every message, my heart raced. What would it be? Would I leave everything and go away? Some part of me didn't want that. But then again, some part of me did. I wished that this mail would never arrive. But my rational thinking decided that it would be worse to be unaware than to be accepted or rejected. 

     And then it finally came. I was accepted. My parents were even happier than me. They even called everyone on their phone contacts and boasted proudly. I texted about this to my club's group chat. Everyone was happy for me. But I myself was unsure. I could reject the college and stay here in this town with everyone. Or I could leave all the relations I had built here and leave to an unfamiliar place where no one would be there to color my story like they did here. 

     My friends threw me a party. It was a farewell party, but I still hadn't made up my mind if it should've been one. I asked my friends about what I should do. And obviously, they encouraged me to go for it. They said that they didn't want to hold me back and besides, most of them wouldn't be staying anyways. But the more I listened, the more I became sure that I would stay here. Even a town has many things to do to earn money. After everyone else left, Maya stayed behind. I knew she would tell me to go too but I had made up my mind. I was going to stay.  

“I know this is the worst time I should be telling you this... especially when you are thinking of moving out of time. But I must tell you as this could be the last time I see you.” 

I knew the words that were going to follow. I was overjoyed. That single moment was worth thousands for me. My brain that had become numb from the dilemma, suddenly underwent countless simulations of the future. I could no longer hear because of the euphoria but my eyes followed her lips as she said the three most precious words. It was pure bliss for me.  

She was fidgeting in place thinking about what I felt about it. I went in for a hug. 

“Me Too. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. And-”, I spaced myself a bit. “Thank You. I thought I wanted to stay here... I wanted to stay the same. But something about you pushes me to accept change. After all, that's the reason why I fell in love with you.” 

“Say. If we could ever do things over, do you think we could've dated in high school?” 

“No.”, I said with a confident smile on my face. “Even though I'll keep changing, I never want that warmth I experienced to change. All my memories of you are ones that I can look back and be happy. Besides, if I keep thinking that I would, I'll become dependent on that possibility again. Unable to be with people who need me now. Unable to be with you.” 

“I'll work hard! I'll work hard and get into the same college as you.” she spoke, and her eyes started tearing. “I already have learned some of the test's answers while preparing you. Even if I can't make it, promise me that we will meet again someday.” 

I promised her that day that we would come together some day. We both knew that we would be grown-ups by then, with our own separate lives. It was unlikely that we would meet again and even more so unlikely that we still felt the same way for each other. But the promise was a good way to keep us going if things went downhill for some time. 

     After that day, we never saw each other again. I left this town behind and went to college. She never passed the entrance exam, and we would never meet again. But she had given me an incredible strength. I was no longer alone. Even in university I made a few friends who kept coloring my life. I eventually got a job in a good company. Even though life hasn't been the way I always wanted it to be, I am happy. Although I did lie about not wanting to change the past...but now I am not so sure if it was a lie or the truth. Maybe, I have been lying for so long that I no longer can distinguish it from the truth. But as there is no point in thinking about it, I will keep on moving forward, together with this world. This ugly world...with beautiful NPCs. And if ever this world is in trouble, I'll make sure I protect everyone then. 

{ ~ END OF PART 1 ~ }