As predicted, it took about an hour to get through Hello Kitty Island Adventures.  We exit, my load now slightly heavier with an extra bag; I couldn't resist making a small haul from the gift shop.

We return to the car, after securing Grace into her car seat, we buckle ourselves in. The atmosphere in the vehicle feels considerably more relaxed this time around. The casual conversation we enjoyed while wandering through the exhibits has curbed my earlier, albeit slightly irrational, fears of potential kidnapping.

"I send another text to my BFF, “Still alive,” I type, attaching a cute photo of Grace and me that Min Jun had taken. My phone buzzes almost instantly with a reply, her message nothing but a heart-eyed emoji. The simple response brings a smile to my face as I click the screen off.

Min Jun types in the next location and since it is in Hangul I can’t quite understand it.

Leaning back, I playfully nudge the conversation along, "Sick of us yet? Are we heading back?" I joke, my tone light and teasing.

"No, not at all. I'm enjoying our little adventure," he replies with a gentle smile. I find myself settling into the comfortable seat with a relaxed grin.

We drive along, the scenic views roll by as we chat casually about various topics, from our favorite Hello Kitty items to different aspects of Korean and American culture.

I can't help but feel a blossoming connection between us.It's not just his kindness and understanding, but also his openness and willingness to share his own experiences that make him easy to talk to.

I peek at Grace in the rearview mirror, and she is of course taking nap, with a very faint snore.  I love that little snore.  My ex-husbands snore would have driven me to kill, it was a like a freight train with an erratic schedule.

Before I know it, we arrive at our next destination. Min Jun parks the car and turns to me, his eyes twinkling with a hint of mischief. "Ready for the next part of our adventure?" he asks, his smile infectious.

I nod, my own smile mirroring his. "Absolutely, I can't wait to see what's next!"

Not long after, we reach the gates of the famed Spirited Garden. As we step out of the car, the transition is almost palpable - from the energetic and playful vibes of Hello Kitty Island to a calming curated garden.  Yet again, Min Jun beats me to paying for the admission. 

After a little peek inside the garden, I realize that it might be bumpy due to the path’s stonework.  A little worried that will not make for a happy baby, as she is still asleep, I turn to Min Jun, “Can we go back to the car, I want to switch out Grace from her stroller. It looks bumpy.”

"Of course," he agrees, and we head back to the car. Min Jun gently holds Grace with a gentle sway as I stow her stroller back in the car and retrieve the baby carrier. As I start to put it on, Min Jun offers, "I can carry Grace. We might be walking for a while, and I don't mind."

I hesitate, "Are you sure? It seems like a significant favor to ask of you."

He chuckles lightly, "It's fine. I'll treat it as my workout for the day."

I nod, "Okay, but if you need a break at any point, just let me know." I then proceed to adjust the carrier, lengthening the straps since they are configured to my size. Taking Grace from him, I hold her as he slips the carrier over his head. With a bit of guidance, he fastens it securely. I circle around him, tightening where necessary. "How does that feel?" I ask.

"Secure," he replies with a smile.

Great, I'll put Grace facing you in now. Hold her while I handle the remaining straps of this torture contraption, okay?"

He gives a confident nod, "Ready!"

I gently position Grace so that she is facing him, and start securing her in the carrier. Min Jun instinctively begins to pat her back in a soothing rhythm. I have to tiptoe since Min Jun towers at an easy 6 feet (183 cm), and he stoops down when he realizes what I’m doing.  I lift her little hat and, thankfully, she remains asleep throughout the transition. She generally sleeps well and the garden seems tranquil enough, but a part of me still worries that she might awaken with a start and cry.  Normally though, if she wakes up naturally and realizes she's being held, she just offers her adorable coos instead. 

"Once we head inside, I'd like to stop by the café to get some hot water for a bottle. I'm afraid she might wake up hungry, and having a bottle ready might be the quickest way to soothe her," I suggest.  I rummage through the diaper bag, thankful it is a backpack, and find the thermos ready to be filled. 

He nods, quickly locates the café on the map, and we start heading in that direction. 

I write what I need in my translator app and I share with Min Jun.  He makes some edits before I head into the café.  I am afraid the grinding the beans might wake up Grace, so Min Jun and Grace wait outside while get some water.  In my usual fashion, I simply hold up my phone to show the translated message and hand over the thermos. It's returned to me filled with hot water, and I make my way back outside. Yet another successful transaction with no verbal words exchanged.

As I make my way out of the café, I notice Min Jun standing with Grace. He's gently bouncing her while continuing to pat her back; he hasn't noticed me yet, which gives me a stolen moment to observe them. "Suddenly, a flurry of butterflies starts in my stomach, causing me to stop in my tracks. I take a deep breath to steady myself, as a loving smile grows across my face.  For a fleeting moment, I stand there an enjoy this moment.

When he finally turns and our eyes lock, it feels as if we are the only two people in the world. But then reality comes crashing back, leaving me feeling somewhat embarrassed. I shake off it off and with my best fake smile, mentally chiding myself as I approach them. "Do not catch feelings. Do not catch feelings," becomes my silent mantra with each step.

Reaching them, I try to sound casual. "Worked like a charm," I say, holding up my phone.

As Min Jun perceives the shift in my demeanor, the sparkle in his eyes seems to dial down just a tad, replaced by either concern or curiosity, I can’t quite put a finger on it. Grace, blissfully unaware of the rollercoaster of emotions happening to me, coos softly in her sleep, bringing us back to the moment.

Not wanting to spoil the mood, I say “ready?” and start walking along the path without waiting for a response.  The garden is stunning.  It is so thoughtfully and carefully curated that I can help but stop and enjoy it.  As we follow the path through the welcome garden we come across stepping stones and I silently thank myself for putting away the stroller.  This would have been impossible to do.  And we playfully but carefully walk from stepping stone to stepping stone. With the coy fish swimming inbetween the stones. 

We reach the other side and despite my best efforts to keep these new feelings at bay, the garden seems to conspire against me, it honestly feels like I’ve just stepped on to a K Drama set.  A gentle breeze that encourages Min Jun to adjust the hat on Grace's head, a stray butterfly that flutters around us, lingering just a bit longer, almost purposefully.  "Do not catch feelings. Do not catch feelings”

My heart and those damn butterflies are deaf, and as much as I chant my internal mantra, it stubbornly flutters at the small, tender gestures Min Jun keeps offering. His gentle manner with Grace, his insistences to help – something I’m not used to.  I find myself struggling to maintain the boundaries I had set for myself.

As we continue to explore the garden, the sound of the flowing water from a nearby stream adds tranquility to the garden. Min Jun takes this moment to share more about his work and his experiences in Korea, his voice adopting a soothing rhythm that seems to complement the natural music around us.  Come to think of it, I think we have been softly speaking to each other this whole time.  Not just for Grace, but also by the serene ambiance of the garden.

He shares stories his childhood growing up in Daegu. It sounds like the opposite of my own story.  He is an only child which is a blessing and a curse. Although he had undivided attention from his parents, it also meant that all their hopes and dreams were pinned on him.  The pressure to do well academically was intense, and not being a great student was a frequent topic.  It wasn’t that he wasn’t smart, it was his interest lied elsewhere, mainly watching as any US tv shows that were broadcasted in Korea. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was a favorite.

Listening to him, I realize that his stories show how we often have more in common than we think. Since he knew he wasn’t going to get into a prestigious Korean University, he set his sights on the US. He had a knack for English, especially after watch hours of Fresh Prince.  He also told me funny story of what getting in “trouble” with friends was like.  All of it was so mild compared to some of my foster brothers and sisters. 

Growing up in the Foster Care system, I always tried to be a little vague about my life. There was a certain shame associated with being a foster child, and I rather keep my childhood private. It’s not that I don’t talk about it, but it takes me awhile to trust that you won’t judge or pity me. As my therapist would say, one of my coping mechanisms is that I learned to steer conversations away from me and focused on the other person.

About an hour into our garden walk, Grace awakens with a combination of a yawn and a squeal, startling both of us since we were absorbed in our conversation. "I guess she wants to join the conversation," I comment, hastily scanning the surroundings for a bench. "Let's sit over there; she seems to be hungry now." We locate a suitable spot and, while I prepare a bottle for her, I lift Grace from the carrier. Min Jun relishes the brief respite, comparing it to being freed from carrying the most adorable bowling ball on his chest, and rises to stretch his back.

Cradling Grace in my arms, she rewards me with a grand stretch and a smile, followed by a burst of giggles as she starts to kick her tiny legs enthusiastically. "Yay, stretch, stretch, stretch! That feels good, doesn't it? Are you hungry?" I ask her, using the tender, lilting tone everyone adopts when speaking to babies. A pang of sympathy strikes me, reflecting on how confined she has been throughout the day.

During this interaction, I am completely unaware of Min Jun's gaze on us. It is only the sound of a camera clicking that alerts me. As I lift my gaze, I notice he is smiling down at us, one that carries a gentle warmth and reaches his twinkling eyes. I can't help but return the smile, "Thank you, I don’t have many photos of Grace and myself together. Would you mind sending me any pictures from today? I would greatly appreciate it," I ask.

Seeing that she's awake, I suggest, "How about I resume my duties as Grace's personal chauffeur? I'll need to change her soon anyway, so it might be easier if I take her.”

He seems reluctant to let go of baby carrying duty, admitting, "I really don't mind, there's an odd comfort in having her on my chest.”

"How about I simply hold her for a while so I can change her diaper, and then we can secure her back in the carrier? Your back might appreciate a brief break.  I bet you're going to wake up tomorrow feeling sore in muscles you didn't even know existed," I say, followed by a burst of laughter.

I feed Grace in silence, both seemingly lost in our thoughts, there is a strange comfort in of sharing silence with someone. Not having to fill the space with idle chatter, comfortable in just being in their presence.  That doesn’t happen with everyone and for me, usually can take time to build.  But with Min Jun, it feels natural.  

I reflect on our day so far and although it has been enjoyable I start to feel pensive. It has been so nice to have the company. It's been quite lonely with just Grace and me. And well, she is a baby, her conversational skills are terrible.  In the past two months, several times a day, I have second-guessed my decision. I could have stayed in Seattle, found a moms' group, or something similar. But every corner of that city is littered with memories that I don't want to revisit. However, having Min Jun's company today really highlights how lonely I've been feeling. Tears start to well up, and I blink rapidly to keep them at bay.

And in that silence my stomach grows quite loudly. It’s midday after all, I realize that I’m starving.  Feeling a bit embarrassed but unable to hold back a grin, I suggest, "How about I treat you to that lunch now?"

He laughs in agreement, patting his stomach which echoes mine with its own growl, and replies, "I could eat."

I finish feeding Grace and hold her over my shoulder so she can burp. We then get up from the bench and make our way to the café.  Both still lost in our thoughts.