Emilia

It doesn’t feel real. Sitting here on a blanket, wrapped up in his arms as we chat and laugh with our friends. The tingles that crawl over every surface of my body at the mere stroke of his fingers, only add to the feeling this is all in my head. The warmth of his chest at my back is the only sensation that grounds me in reality, but even that isn’t enough to take away the worry that still lingers in my chest. I’m afraid to move. Hardly able to breathe. Overcome with fear that at any moment I’ll wake up in my bed, only to find this is all a dream.

“Hey,” with his thumb and forefinger, he gently takes my chin and forces my eyes to his. “You okay?” A slight nod is all I can give him. With a knowing smile, he kisses the tip of my nose. “Breathe, baby. I meant what I said. I love you and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Okay.”

He scans my face for a moment. “If this is too much, we can leave. We can go somewhere and talk. Just the two of us.”

Before he finishes, I’m already shaking my head. I don’t want to go. Truth be told, I’d give anything to stay here in his arms forever. “No. I’ll be okay. I think I’m just processing everything.”

“Still in shock, are you?” He smirks. When I nod, his lips curve into a radiant smile that fades as his lips draw closer to mine. “I love you,” he whispers, and then he kisses me. Slow and tender. His lips are gentle as they imprint themselves onto mine. Remembering the last time I open up for him, using my tongue to coax him to kiss me deeper.

I can’t believe this is what kissing feels like. Like an explosion deep inside my body, that leaves me feeling more alive than I’ve ever felt. At the same time, it’s like an out-of-body experience, except I can feel every single sensation deep down to the root of my soul. Every touch. Every breath. Every heartbeat. When he pulls away, I’m breathless. With eyes still closed, I swallow down the disappointment and lean my head back against his chest.

Nothing in this life has ever felt more right and I’m grateful I waited to give him my first kiss. It was everything I’d imagined it would be, and so much more. It makes me long for a time in the future when I can give him all my other firsts, since after this, there is no doubt I belong to him.

The sound of a phone interrupts my thoughts, but just as quickly, I’m distracted by the feel of his warm breath against my ear as he kisses the side of my face.

“Hi, Dad,” he pauses. “Yeah, they’re right here.” When Lucas tenses behind me, I look up to see Will staring at him. “O-okay.” Then to Lucas he says, “It’s my dad. I’m putting him on speaker.”

“Lucas…” Will’s father, the chief of police, comes over the line. His usual authoritative tone is different. Almost cautious. It’s the first sign something isn’t right. “Is your sister with you?”

“Yes, sir. She’s right here.” Lucas releases me and the next thing I know, he’s moved away to grab Will’s phone. Though his back is to me, I can see the tension coursing through him.

“Good. You two stay there. I’m sending a unit over for you…”

“What? Why?” He rises to a stand, worried gaze staring right at his sister.

“I can’t say over the line. Just stay put…”

“No. No!” He yells. “Don’t send anyone. I’ve got my Dad’s truck. It’s faster, just tell me what’s happening.” A nervous Jen stands in front of him now, her body vibrating with anxiety as she looks at him imploringly.

“Not over the phone, and it’s not up for debate. I’m sending a unit. Wait for…”

To everyone’s shock, Lucas hangs up the phone and tosses it back to Will. “I’m not waiting.” He tells him unapologetically, before turning his attention to his sister. “Let’s go.”

To my relief, he reaches for my hand and pulls me to a stand. On the outside, he is every bit of the controlled Lucas we know, but the tight grip he has on me and the way he avoids everyone’s gaze tells a different story. He’s terrified, which sends my stomach plunging into freefall. 

As we rush toward the parking lot, I hear our friends scramble and when I look back; I see they’re all following. Will and Ben take the lead, with Parker trailing behind Nic and Hannah.

“What are we doing? Tell us where you need us and we’re there,” Ben says when he catches up. When Jen stumbles, he puts an arm around her and pulls her close.

“Home. There’s only one reason Parker’s dad would call like that. Something’s wrong at my house and I’m not sitting here waiting to see what that is.”

At the sound of a whimper, I look at Jen. Even in the dark, it’s impossible to miss the tears that trail down her face. A sudden wave of dread sweeps over me and it takes all I have not to succumb to the panic. The weight of it is so oppressive that I’m having a hard time seeing beyond the dark dizziness that swirls in my periphery. As if he can sense it, Lucas squeezes my hand and then shifts so he can hold me closer.

After that, the trip to the car is a blur, as is most of the ride to their house. I’m in the front passenger seat next to Lucas, while Ben and Jen sit in the back. I’m so overwhelmed by what is happening, I don’t know if the others are following or if they elected to stay behind.

Jen’s silent tears have turned into full-on sobs, and with every heaving breath she takes, I see Lucas coming more undone. The lights on the dash are bright enough to let me see the paleness of his face. His eyes are frantic, shifting from the road down to the phone that sits silently on its mount. His desperation for it to ring is palpable and chokes me up. The burn behind my eyes is excruciating, but not as painful as watching two of the most important people in my life fall apart.

It doesn’t take long for us to notice the unnatural brightness that lights the sky. As realization sets in, Lucas pushes the truck to go faster and when I look at him this time, there is no mistaking the tears now pouring down his face.

“No. No. No. No.” He punches the steering wheel, eliciting a harsh sob from Jen in the back. “Fuck! No. Please God, no!”

“Lucas!” Ben’s voice is forceful yet calm. “We don’t know anything for sure, so keep it together until we get there.”

As we come up the winding driveway, what we see leaves us gasping for air. The house we’ve known our entire lives is barely recognizable under the flames that shoot from the roof and windows. There are first responder trucks everywhere. Their flashing red and blue lights add a layer of confusion to an already unbelievable situation.

When the car pulls to an abrupt stop, Lucas rushes out. Shocked, I just sit there in disbelief, staring at the keys that remain in the ignition, and the car door he left open. The chime of the car alerting us to the open door mixes with the sounds of Jen’s cries, the yells of those working the scene, and the roaring of the fire as it consumes everything in its wake. It’s a cacophony of sounds that’s unbearable, but there’s no escaping it.

This has to be a nightmare. A bad dream. This can’t be happening.

“Fuck!” Ben’s voice comes from the back before he too, is out of the car.

And then I hear it. A shrill, agonized wail that cuts me to the quick and sends shivers trailing up my spine. Recognizing its source, I stumble out of the car in time to watch Lucas get tackled to the ground by Ben, Parker, and a police officer. Though it’s three against one, Lucas fights like hell to get free. His determination to walk through the flames to get into the house, in addition to the fear he’s being hurt, prompts a litany of screams I don’t recognize as my own. With a hand to my mouth, I fight unsuccessfully to mute my anguished cries.

What is happening? What the hell is happening?

The question rolls through my mind repeatedly as I try to make sense of this alternate reality that looks nothing like the world I know. Sobbing uncontrollably, I turn my back to the scene, which is when my eyes connect with Jen. She’s standing by the car. Harsh sobs rip through her body as she watches the violent scene playing out with her brother.

Without thinking, I rush to her. Taking her in my arms, I turn her around in my lame attempt to shield her from what’s happening. It’s so stupid, I know. So damn stupid, given the sounds, the flashing lights, the unmistakable smell of burning, never mind the heat that scorches over our skin from the fire that burns hotter than any other I’ve ever felt.

“Don’t look. Don’t look.” I say the words over and over again, not knowing if they’re meant for me or her. When we can’t bear it anymore, we both collapse. Falling hard on our knees but never letting go of the other.

When arms come around us, we startle. “Christ. I’ve got you. I’m here. I’ve got you,” Ben’s voice breaks, even as he tries to console us.

Terrified he’s left Lucas, I turn to look for him, only to immediately regret it. His prone body lays at the feet of the police officer unmoving except for the rise and fall of his chest with each agonized sob. Parker and Will are kneeling at his sides, both holding on even as he no longer fights.

When I attempt to stand, Ben’s arms squeeze tighter. “Please,” I beg. “I have to go to him.”

“Not yet. Not just yet.”

“Emilia…” I hear the voice that’s like a hint of light amid all this darkness. “That’s my daughter. I need to see my daughter.”

“Daddy,” I wail louder, sounding more like a little girl than a 16-year-old, but I don’t care. I need my dad.

The police must let him through, for in the next breath, I’m wrapped up in his arms. “Oh, my sweet girl.” His hand finds its way into my hair as he kisses the top of my head. “Oh, God, my sweet girl.”

At the sound of my dad’s cries, I collapse against him. The reality that things must be as bad as they seem hits me like a punch to the gut. Lucas’s parents. Aunt Jessa. Uncle Tom. If they were okay, they would be here. Standing with their kids. Providing them with comfort and reassurance. Never would they leave them to face their fears alone unless…

The thought proves too much for me to think about, so I squash it down. Burying my face against my father’s chest, I soak in the comfort. The relief he’s here with me dispels some of the grief, but just as quickly, I’m overcome by the guilt that this is something Lucas and Jen might never experience again. It’s why I pull back. Pleading with my eyes that he please tell me this isn’t real.

“Chief Keller called to tell me what was happening. The minute I heard I knew the three of you would be together.”

“What’s going to happen? I can’t leave them, Dad. We can’t walk away and leave them to face this alone.”

His eyes fall as deep grief passes over his features. When he looks at me this time, his eyes are glassy, but his face is more composed. “They’re coming home with us. Don’t worry. They won’t be alone.”

I remember little of our ride home. One minute we were broken and grieving in Lucas’s driveway, and the next we’re in the car with my dad. Me sitting in the front. Jen and Lucas still sobbing quietly in the back. At my limit for sad things, I refuse to look behind me for fear that once again I’ll fall apart.

Falling apart isn’t an option for me. Not if I want to help them. For Jen, my best friend. For Lucas, the love of my life. I have to be strong. Unwavering. Steadfast. To save them from this nightmare, I have to be every bit of the person that Lucas has always been for me.