--

Festival Day - Night time

"Nope. I can't do it." I nervously said as I was in front of the stage with my friends and at our back were hundreds of people waiting for Sarawat's band to come out. I can hear the girls scream even at the farthest part of the venue.

I could feel Fong roll his eyes and lightly punched me on the arm. "Just chill. You'll be fine. It's been years and I know it will be worth it." 

"And besides, whatever the result may be, we're here for you." Phuak said and I smiled at the three of them. 

"Thanks guys." I said and heard the host announced the next performers. 

My heart keeps beating faster as I anticipate Sarawat's turn to perform. I felt a mix of nervousness and excitement because I've been waiting for this moment to come, to finally say what I truly feel. I'm also kind of scared of what will be the outcome of this but just like what my friends say, they're here for me. 

Even if he didn't want me, I'll still be a friend to him like always. Nothing will change. 

Thousands of screams roared as Sarawat and his band's turn to perform. We also gave out our loudest cheer for them as support. 

I saw him fixing his mic and tuning his electric guitar. He brushed off his hair afterwards and his eyes searched for the crowd as if he's looking for someone until his gaze dropped to me. I stared at him back and as if the time ran slow, we're in our own little world, not caring about the people behind us. 

I smiled at him and mouthed 'Goodluck'. He gave me a small smile and nodded, facing the crowd and thanked everyone who came to watch them perform. 

"I would like to dedicate this song to everyone who has someone they've been longing for to be with this summer. Hope you guys can sing along." He said that while staring at me. My heart skipped a beat again.

He nodded at his bandmates at the back and started playing a kind of playful tune, catchy enough to get the interest of the audience. 

I gotta find my way back

Back to summer paradise...

Wait. This song...

My heart is sinking

as I'm lifting up above the clouds

Away from you...

He started singing the lyrics I'm so familiar with. I froze and memories started to rush through my mind.  He sang this to me  as a part of our guitar lessons when we were all alone on the beach..

And I can't believe I'm leaving

Oh I don't kno-kno-know

What I'm gonna do...

I can still remember how I never got in touch with him after that day when he taught me how to play and when my performance was up. I was so excited back then to show him what I have learned and was about to thank him but he never showed up. I just learned from our common friend that he just left the school due to personal reasons. 

But someday..

I will find my way back to

Where your name

Is written in the sand

I could feel his gaze looking at me and I can't help but stared at him too. His eyes showed a mix of happiness and sadness as he sang those meaningful lyrics while staring at me with those loving brown eyes of his. 

Cause I remember every sunset

I remember every word you said

We we're never gonna say goodbye

Singing La-la-da-da-da

Tell me how to get back to

Back to summer Paradise with you..

I couldn't hold my emotions any longer as tears started to stream down my cheeks and I can't help but sob uncontrollably. 

..And I'll be there in a heart beat.

I change my mind. I love him. I've come to realize I've fallen for him this hard all throughout the years, waiting for him even If I have little hope of meeting him again. 

Now he's right in front of me, singing this song we shared on that one summer day we spent with just the two of us. It was a bitter sweet memory for me since that was the last time I ever got to see him again. Hearing it again from him hits different, and I can't help but feel emotional.

I quickly excused myself from my friends and ran towards the field where no one could see me. I could still hear the crowd cheering as they still perform. 

I sat on one of the benches and cried my heart out. I may not admit it but it did hurt when he just left me there hanging without saying goodbye to me that day. I thought what we had was something special that only the two of us can share, even if we're just friends. 

Maybe it was just me being delusional and I was just putting malice to the things he did for me. Maybe it was just a friendly gesture since he's friendly to others too. 

"Tine.." 

I lifted my head up and shocked when I saw Sarawat in front of me, catching his breath while looking at me. I quickly wiped my tears and stood up.

"W-what are you doing here?" I nervously said. 

"You didn't see me finish my performance that's why I looked for you." he said. There he goes again, giving me this mixed signals...

"I just needed some fresh air." I said and sniffed and hugged myself as the cold breeze brushed through my body. 

I saw him removed his jacket and went to me to put it on. I felt his warm hands on my cheek, gently caressing it. I looked up and saw sadness sparkled through his eyes.

"Why were you crying? Why did you ran away?" he asked softly. 

I avoided his gaze and didn't answer. I'm not yet ready to tell him, not when I'm a complete mess. 

"Tine, please.. Look at me." 

Don't make this harder for me, Sarawat. "I said I'm fine."

"Then why were you crying? Did you know as I already finished our performance, I quickly got out of the stage and looked for you?" He said in a slightly irritated voice and held both of my cheeks. "Please don't make this harder for me. I want you to tell me what's going on with you..." 

I lifted my gaze and glared at him. "Why do you care? And what do I mean to you for you to be this curious and ask me that?" I snapped at him and he was kind of shocked at what I said, a hint of hurt flickered through his eyes. I didn't flinch but continued.

"You left me that day, remember? Now you're here again and for what? to apologize? If you were really sorry, you could've find a way to communicate with me and reconnect since we were friends." I said and added "Oh wait, are we even friends to begin with? I guess not. Since I was the only one who thought we were.." I said and with that, I turned away and walked out on him, tears were slowly falling again. 

I love him, but I'm so embarrassed of what I did today. I'm a complete mess. I didn't even get to tell him. What a way to end my day. 

I heard him ran towards me and hugged me from behind. I completely froze and felt his warm arms wrapped around me. I could feel my shoulders getting wet. Is he crying?

"I'm so sorry about that day.. I didn't mean to leave you like that." he said while sobbing. I cried too and we stayed like that for a few minutes until I faced him and cupped his face, wiping his tears away. 

"It was so sudden that we were leaving the country so I can continue my studies there. I was planning to say goodbye to you on the day of your performance, but I just watched you from afar." he said and I was shocked. All this time, he was able to watch me perform?

He softly smiled at me. "You did so well, Tine. I couldn't be more proud." he said lovingly and grabbed both of my hands to hold. "That's when I realized I have fallen harder for you. It deeply saddened me when your performance has ended and it was time for me to go as well." 

"That's why I sang to you that song on that day when we were together at the beach, because it meant so much for the both of us. So you can remember me everyday, especially every Summer. A reminder that I'll come back to you." he said and cupped both of my cheeks too, resting his forehead to mind. I closed my eyes and hugged him. 

"I like you, Tine. So much than you could ever imagine." he said and hugged me back. I cried so hard. I'm so happy he also likes me. 

"I like you too, Sarawat. When we had our Guitar lessons that day, I already felt something for you, too." I said and saw his eyes widened but smiled afterwards with what I said. We just hugged each other for God knows how long until he broke it and stared at me playfully.

"Do you remember the last few lyrics of the song?" he said

"What lyrics?" I asked confusingly.

He intertwined our hands "I remember where we first kissed, how I didn't wanna leave your lips." he playfully sang and I couldn't help but blush at what he just said.

"Dummy, I don't even have a first kiss yet, let alone our first kiss!" I said and he let out a laugh. 

"So do I." he said and cupped both of my cheeks. We stared at each other for a while before he leaned in with his eyes closed as I felt his soft lips on mine. I closed my eyes and put my arms around his neck to kiss me more.  

And on that summer night, we shared our first kiss, not minding who might see us. 

Now I know the reason why I have fallen for Sarawat.

It's because of Summer and his Guitar.

--