One fateful day, I stumbled upon Beatrice by pure chance. Little did I know that this would be a turning point in my life. As we made small talk, she mentioned her passion for writing and shared some of her stories with me. At the time, I didn't think much of it. Her drive was contagious and I soon found myself drawn to her stories, the darkness of them all, even the ones that were supposed to be happy on plain sight. We spoke only occasionally and I have to admit I disappeared for a long time, later she understood why.

When I first reached out to her, she seemed hesitant and skeptical. She wasn't sure if I was really who I said I was, or if my request was just a cruel joke played by someone with too much time on their hands.

As we began to communicate more, it became clear that I was serious about my request. I shared with her some pictures that I had taken in secret and even some that were taken of me without my knowledge at the time. I also answered many of the questions she had about me and my life, even though some of them were difficult to discuss.

After some hesitation, Beatrice finally agreed to take on the task of writing my story.

It was not an easy one to tell, but we spent countless hours together discussing the details and exchanging information. I could tell that she was determined to capture the full picture of the events that ultimately led me to this point in my life. We talked about the others and what had happened to them, we talked about myself, about the reasons why I did whatI did. All of this while she typed notes furiously in her thin pink laptop. Yes, the one that appears in some of her videos.

I was amazed at how committed she was to the project, how important it grew to be for her.

During the process of writing the piece, she had requested the freedom to express the story in her own voice and style. She had emphasized the importance of weaving a fictional element into the narrative to make it more captivating. In order to achieve this, she had expressed her desire to delve deep into the perspectives of each character, to understand their thought processes and emotions.

To assist her with this, I made a conscious effort to provide her with as much information as possible, ensuring that my own opinions and biases did not cloud her interpretation and portrayal of the events.

Her description of the events simply impeccable. The rawness with which she portrayed the situation allowed me to fully immerse myself in the experience, reliving it in vivid detail, for better or for worse.

During our conversation, she mentioned she wasn't used to writing in English. She repeated countless times that she believed that no one would read it. Despite her concerns, I felt strongly that it had to happen this way. This had to come to light sooner or later

So, dear reader, if you are planning on following through with your promise of reading this story from beginning to end, I will advise you to brace yourself. It will get graphic some times, too real other ones, but I will ask you to bear with it if you can. As I said multiple times, this story had to be told.

CONTENT WARNING

This story covers topics such as religious trauma, racism, psychological abuse, and mental health issues. It also contains sexual content that is only suitable for readers who are 18 years old or older. While we want this story to be accessible to everyone, we also understand that not everyone may feel comfortable reading about these topics. Please only proceed if you feel safe doing so.

And if you decide to continue reading after all my rambling, just remember that all of these events that will be described here happened right before your very own eyes, and you didn't even realize it until now.

It is quite remarkable how our brains may miss the most obvious things that are happening around us, even when we are paying careful attention.

See you very soon,

Anonymous

TRIGGER WARNING KEY

Since this story will touch on various sensitive topics, and not everyone is the same, I have decided to add this small key that will show you what warnings each chapter will have. This part of the book will be updated periodically, so you know what's coming in case you prefer to skip it.

The symbols will be present in the chapter titles to make it easier for you.

(X) = sex scene

(RT) = religious trauma

(A) = physical abuse

(P) = psychological abuse

(MH) = mental health issues

(R) = racism

(S) = suicide

(D) = death

(ED) = eating disorder

If you need to skip a scene and feel lost afterwards, you can tell me in a comment and I'll gladly give you a summary without details.

Please take care of yourselves, remember I love you!