It was the middle of the third shift, and somehow both Irene and Robert were late for the operational meeting. Irene stayed too long after her shift as part of a group who were trying to catch an annoying bug in the doors control system. (Random passenger cabins would unlock at unpredictable times, and the complaints were really piling up.) They made some progress but it wasn’t resolved. Irene stepped away from her station only after Seidel made a direct private comm call and asked when they should expect her and if Robert was nearby. He wasn’t, but when Irene ran towards the captain’s office, she caught up with him coming from the same direction, just less hurriedly.

She sat down in her usual place next to Andrade, who seemed to be in one of his foul moods despite Haasan’s seat being empty. She didn’t care much about it; anything related to flight controls wasn’t her responsibility hence no need to deal with the Chief Pilot. She just wished she could steady her breath faster because it was clearly annoying him.

Zulu gave her a greeting nod, professionally neutral as usual. Seidel watched both engineers with an amused smile, twiddling her interface pen between her fingers. “Some things never change,” she chuckled. Irene found it funny coming from a person who looked 40 years younger than just a few months ago. Sitting opposite of her, Irene felt flustered; Seidel has always been quite attractive, but with her visible age halved, she now looked more… approachable. Not that Irene planned to act on it but she kept catching herself staring.

And then there was the captain. Nikolai was the one who called this meeting, yet he looked the least comfortable being here. He was wearing a breathing aid, a bulky plastic bubble covering the lower half of his face, his breathing laboured and louder than everyone else’s. His eyes were sunken, the wrinkles around them were deeper than what a person a decade after a renovation should have. He should have looked younger than Robert, he should have looked younger than Irene, and yet he didn’t. Despite clearly being not fit for holding any meetings, he tried to smile. “Thank you for joining us.”

Irene smiled back, her insides squeezing in sympathy. “My apologies, I did not realise how late it was.” Robert didn’t say anything and just stared at the corner of the table with a grim expression. That was… worrying.

Seidel sensed the unfamiliar tension and took point to move past it. “It’s been some time, but our stay on Earth went smoothly on the stewards side. Quite a busy short hop, only five cabins empty.”

Zulu chimed in: “I’ve run projections, and it seems that Earth to Bagathon is a popular route but our tickets are 15% cheaper than the closest competitor, hence why we sold out. We should try scheduling this route more often to raise the income.”

Irene could swear this surprised Seidel. She looked down at her interface, scrolled through something for a moment, then looked up with a small smile and nodded at nothing in particular.

“Didn’t we come here just to move some cargo?” Andrade grumbled, one eyebrow raised.

“More than we intended.” Irene couldn’t stop herself. It’s been two days, but the whole interaction with da Silva still left a sour taste in her mouth.

This got the Chief Pilot’s attention. His face scrunched in a disgusted frown as he turned to her. “Stop being so dramatic over a couple of boxes. Next thing, you’ll start weighing all the crew’s personal possessions.”

It felt like her spine turned to steel, as Irene straightened in her chair and put her interface down. She turned towards Andrade, her face calm (or so she hoped), her voice even. “Everything the crewmembers bring on board goes through the gates and excessive scanning, which ensures it’s not dangerous. Cargo is not treated the same when it’s not on the official manifest.”

“It went through the port like everything else!”

“Unless it’s something we are unloading, Human SOI ports don’t provide us with security scanning services!”

Robert sighed and agreed. “They don’t. We have to recheck the cargo each time on our side.”

Irene was surprised he supported her. She grabbed on to this. “Yes! This is why da Silva going around the manifest is a risk to the safety of the ship!”

But his support was already gone. Robert rubbed the bridge of his nose. “They are not stupid, they would have checked whatever they were taking on board.”

“As if they are the only person who fucking does that!” Andrade sneered. “Any engineer has access to the cargo hold during loading. They can bring in anything they want, avoiding the gate, using a lifter car even. I don’t see you going after them!”

“They are the Chief Cargo Engineer! Anyone else going through the cargo hold is their responsibility!”

“By that logic, anything Miguel does wrong is your fucking fault, because you are First Class.”

“Paolo.” Nikolai frowned.

“Paolo!” Seidel said at the same time, her eyebrows raised which made her look like a school teacher disappointed in her student.

“She’s been on their back about this shit for ages!”

“I am, because it keeps happening!” Irene turned towards Robert, and not catching his eye– to Nikolai. “It’s been going on for months! And we still don’t know what exactly they are smuggling! It could be dangerous! Or even banned in the SOI!”

Andrade snorted. “It doesn’t need to be dangerous to be banned in the SOI.”

Zulu pursed her lips. “We are operating under the SOI law here and will get in trouble if it is banned.”

“If they wanted to get rid of us, they would’ve done it long ago.” He countered.

“Still, we shouldn’t be risking it.” Seidel said sternly.

Irene appreciated them interceding but also knew that stewards’ opinion was always the last to be considered.

“I’d like to know at least what is being transported.” Nikolai said in a small voice, his heart clearly not in this argument.

“Enough. Just… leave them alone.” Robert slammed the hand on the table and effectively made everyone shut up. “We didn’t gather to discuss this. It’s an Engineering issue and will be dealt with inside the Engineering. We have more important things to talk about.”

Irene felt like he slapped her over the face. The majority was clearly on her side, including the captain, and they were so close to agreeing to investigate it or something, and Robert decided to shut this down?! Despite it being an issue that potentially concerned everyone on the ship?! 

But before she could find words to complain about this, he continued: “Nick may have to stay on the Bagathon II station for medical care. We need to be prepared to change the schedule on a very short notice.”

The silence that followed felt as if the artificial gravity glitched and got three times stronger than usual. Irene pushed her anger deep down. It was stupid to argue about smuggled cargo when they were facing a risk of their captain having to step down, even if temporarily. No, that felt too insensitive. Nikolai being sick was worrisome not because he was the captain, but simply because he was a human being she cared about. They all cared about. He was the heart of Hopestar. The glue holding them all together.

Nikolai cleared his throat and managed a smile, visible even through his breathing aid. “It’s not as dramatic as Rob makes it sound-”

“It fucking is.” Robert cut him off, and Irene got a sense this has been a recurring argument between them. “We are seeing a doctor, a specialised doctor, and if they say you should spend time in the hospital, you are spending time in the hospital!” He took a moment to steady the volume of his voice. “And I’m staying with you.”

“They won’t let me stay, we are still in Human SOI.” Nikolai said softly, still smiling. 

Seidel frowned. “Surely, if it is a private clinic…”

“No truly private clinics on space stations.” He countered, still sounding like there was nothing to worry about. Seidel pursed her lips and exhaled through her nose in disapproval. 

Robert waved his hand in the air. “Do I need to repeat myself?”

Zulu leaned forward. “Why change the schedule? We have tickets sold and port time booked right up to Jeph, right? We can hold on to selling tickets further than that until we know for sure if the captain remains on the ship or not, fly to Jeph and return to Bagathon if necessary.”

“Hopestar won’t fly far without either of us on board.”

Andrade let out a snort. Seidel straightened in her chair as if this was an insult directed at her. “This is not true. We have a capable crew…” She started.

Robert waved her away. “This is not my point.”

She and Zulu looked baffled at this weird non-explanation. Nikolai leaned forward to dissolve this: “Rob means it needs our authorization codes.”

This released some tension around the table, including in Irene’s chest. Of course. Robert and Nikolai were the main hardware and software architects of Hopestar, respectively. At least one of them had to authorise take-offs, landings and subspace jumps.

“That’s what I said.” Robert grumbled.

“No, you didn’t.” Despite the smile, Nikolai sounded tired.

Andrade tapped his foot under the table. “Just upload them to someone else’s ID file, what’s the problem?” He sounded annoyed.

Robert didn’t have much patience for his tone. He turned to face him with eyes narrowed. “The problem is that we have a Chief Pilot who can decide to fly us into a nearby star because he is high.” Irene pressed herself tightly to the back of her chair, trying not to be a part of this. 

“Rob!” Nikolai exclaimed in surprise and immediately fell into a coughing fit. Seidel got up to pat him on the back, giving the Chief Engineer an angry glare.

Irene turned just a little bit to catch Andrade’s expression out of the corner of her eye. He stared back at Robert, furious, breathing heavily and clearly searching for a reply. And yet, there was something else. Something vulnerable. Something Irene could relate to: she was on the receiving end of Robert’s bluntness way too often. It was the hurt of being underappreciated.

The following minute felt like an hour, but Nikolai finally managed to breathe again, his eyes full of tears. He took a wheezy breath and tried to say: “This is not the worry-”

“Oh, save it!” Andrade kicked his chair back and got up. Irene flinched at that and looked at him, wishing to be anywhere else in the room but next to him. “I got it, I’m not stupid. Not ‘captain material’, am I? Well, have fun debating then! We’ll just carry on flying this ship like we always did because we can fucking do more than just say ‘Authorise’ from time to time!” He said the last bit in a small mocking voice, turned around and headed out of the captain’s office. 

“Paolo!” Nikolai called after him, his lower lip trembling.

“Just proving my fucking point!” Robert shouted towards the door, then quieter to the people at the table: “Really fucking mature.”

“And you think you handled this professionally?!” Seidel sat back in her chair and glared at him.

“We don’t need him for this discussion. I’m not giving codes to someone like him.”

Nikolai managed to compose himself and stared at Robert, betrayed. “I was going to give him mine!”

“And I told you what a stupid idea it was!”

“Well, Andrew is on leave, and-”

“Oh, just stop it!” Robert snapped. “Fucking enough! I’m tired of hearing about your Andrews and Paolos, they don’t give a fuck about this ship!!! No matter how hard you try to convince yourself, they won’t take over from you!”

And like that Nikolai was properly in tears. It happened occasionally, and Irene wasn’t judging this, but she felt bad for the captain. He clearly needed rest and medical attention, not sitting here arguing about the succession of his title. On the other side of the table, Zulu sat quietly, staring down at her interface, clearly uncomfortable. Seidel bore her glare into Robert, her expression saying ‘Apologise. Now.’ This wasn’t very effective, because he wasn’t looking at her.

The uncomfortable moment stretched for enough time to give Nikolai a chance to compose himself. Or attempt to compose himself. Finally, Robert spoke again, calmer: “We have more than enough capable chiefs who could take over, three of them still in this room. I trust them. I don’t trust an addict with an inflated ego or a hermit who made it clear he cares not for responsibility.”

“They are not like that…” Nikolai whispered through sniffles.

“Well, I’m gonna wait for them to prove me wrong then. But until then, I’m not considering either of them as an option.”

Irene took a breath. She had to volunteer herself, right? It was the most logical choice. Yes, Seidel and Zulu were more involved with the organisational side of it, but Irene was an engineer. The ship being able to fly was her responsibility. And she was more qualified to authorise flights than any other chief, present or not. Yes, Robert wasn’t very appreciative of her job lately. And he often ignored her concerns. And so many engineers didn’t take her authority seriously. But…

… She hesitated.

“I could take over captain duties in case the need arises then?” Seidel wasn’t frowning anymore. Her face was more neutral, perhaps, she was nervous about this too. “Makoti can act as the Chief Steward, she already has all the experience needed.” 

Zulu nodded, eagerly. “Yes, I don’t mind, there shouldn't be any issues.”

Robert shrugged with one shoulder and looked at Nikolai. The captain tried to dry his eyes with the palm of his hand. “Y-yes, t-that sounds good to me. If you’re sure it’s okay.”

“Of course it is.” Seidel’s voice was gentle. She was relieved.

Irene tried her best not to show her disappointment. Seidel was the senior chief, after all. It made sense. She looked at Robert, expecting… Well, she wasn’t sure what. Acknowledgement. Confirmation that she will be the acting Chief Engineer in case he has to leave.

None of that followed. He looked around the table and nodded. “Okay, then we’ll prepare the transfer for your ID. That’s gonna be all for this meeting. Kolya needs rest.”

And so they dispersed.