Rin did try. He tried really hard.

On the first day of their subspace journey to Bagathon, he went to a media theatre after his shift. He managed a full 30 minutes, sitting in a soft chair in the corner, watching an absolutely fine movie. But there was also a cuddling pile of stewards closer to the screen, and while they weren’t loud or distracting, Rin just couldn’t help but stare at them. And feel bad about it. They all seemed close to each other, holding quiet conversations about things they liked, sharing hugs when they wanted. He felt like he was intruding.

On the second day, he attempted a visit to the interactive entertainment hub. There was an amazing pod with the latest Space Trucker simulator, and he really enjoyed it. For an hour. Before his brain reminded him that he could’ve been a space trucker if not for the stamp.

Both times, he ended up in the library for the rest of the day, sitting in his favourite chair with his knees pulled to his chin and a plastic book in his hands. He wasn’t even reading anything new but “We Move Forward” by Mahra Al-Muqit ‒ the first novel Andrew ever recommended to him. It was good. It was comforting.

On the third day, Rin finally caved in and listed open hours for the library on the public board: every other day right up to Jeph, except for the days in normal space. Perhaps, nobody would visit anyways, but at least he would feel less guilty about it.

Surprisingly, he did get a visitor in the very first hour. She was a passenger who didn’t want to take a library interface to her cabin, but still spent a long time just reading one of the plastic books from a public-reading shelf. Five minutes before closing, an engineer ran in (they asked to call them Min) and begged for help in finding an obscure textbook. Apparently, they were getting a degree at an online university, were currently working on a thesis, and just had to cross-reference something before they got back to normal space. Together, they spent almost an hour going through the catalogue and didn’t find that particular book, but Min left with three publications on the same topic in hopes it would be enough.

So when he spent his second library shift completely alone, Rin was quite underwhelmed. He didn’t leave early just in case Min would drop by again at the last moment. He sat at the librarian station, reading on his library interface. Today, it was the first book in a series of 22-nd century contemporary novels that were supposed to be an insightful commentary on the politics of the author’s country (back before the Earth was unified), but Rin had to admit he knew too little about that period to understand the majority of it. 

He tried to fight the disappointment. He knew that the library wasn’t popular. He loved it specifically for being quiet. It wasn’t its main function to accommodate visitors. Archive first, sharing second.

With these gloomy thoughts in the back of his mind, Rin almost jumped when he heard the soft notification of someone at the door. He looked up from his interface with an excited smile. And then all of his muscles tensed as if someone sent electric current through them.

Andrade stood in the door frame.

First shift must have ended mere minutes ago, which meant he came here all the way from the cockpit on purpose. He had his pilot jacket unzipped, revealing a tight-fitting dark t-shirt under it. His hair was perfect, as usual, with a couple of strands out of alignment and falling to his forehead (Rin wasn’t sure if this was done on purpose). And he didn’t look angry or annoyed or whatever else it was in the past few days. He looked… curious. Amused. Unsure but not in a shy way.

Holy shit, Rin though, Andrade was in the library.

Technically, Andrew never mentioned Andrade being forbidden from coming here. There were some personalised rules (don’t give anything to Mikey; don’t let the captain bring his own drinks into the back rooms; if someone asks for J. Marston poems, offer X. Zongyuan or J-F de Malherbe instead)(Andrew had really strong opinions on J. Marston) but none of them concerned Andrade directly. As a crewmember, he was allowed to visit the library like anyone else. And yet, Rin was sure this was the first time the Chief Pilot set foot in this part of the ship. Or was allowed to do so.

Andrade tilted his head and looked down at the threshold, and with a chuckle stepped over it, finally getting into the library proper. He looked up at Rin with an amused smirk. “Well? Where’s my special first visit welcome?”

Rin had absolutely no idea what to do. His first urge was to tell him to get the fuck out. But a) he had no ability to enforce it, and b) this would only piss the Chief Pilot off and cause more trouble. But what else was he supposed to do? Show him around? Lend him a library interface? That was ridiculous.

“Why… Why did you come here? Sir.” Rin blurted out finally, when the pause stretched for too long.

Andrade raised an eyebrow and walked in further, waving his hand vaguely. “I don’t know. To read books?”

Despite the terrifying nature of this whole situation, Rin couldn’t help but snort at this. “I have trouble believing this, sir.”

Surprisingly, Andrade didn’t take offence but only grinned wider. “What, you don’t think I can try something new?” He looked around again and stepped closer to the nearest shelf with storage nodes, leaning in to check out the inventory numbers on the side.

Rin took a deep breath and put down his interface. Whatever was on the Chief Pilot’s mind it couldn’t be anything good. He needed to convince him to leave. Peacefully.

“Sir, I don’t think you should be here.”

“Well, neither should you.” Andrade said with amusement. He turned back to Rin, crossed the room, pulled one of the chairs over and straddled it on the other side of the station, hands crossed on its back. They were now face to face, just a desk between them. “And yet, here we are.”

Rin realised he pressed himself back into his own chair and made an effort to relax his shoulders. Andrade looked at him intently with an unfamiliar smile. It wasn’t angry, it wasn’t annoyed. Rin had no idea what this all meant. Was he drunk? He didn’t smell of alcohol. Weren’t there intoxicants that didn’t smell like anything? Was he on one of those? Would he have time between handing in his shift and coming here to do that?

Andrade started drumming his fingers on the plastic of the chair back. “So this is where you hide during your off hours.”

Rin knew he pouted even if he didn’t want to react, because more amusement bloomed on the Chief Pilot’s face. “I’m not hiding. I was asked to keep the library operational while-” Fuck, he almost said his first name. “- Mr Haasan was on leave.”

“Ooohhh, how noble. Will he give you a cut of his wage then? Isn’t he paid exclusively in books?” 

Wow, he clearly enjoyed making Rin angry. “I don’t see how it concerns you, sir.” Rin said evenly.

Andrade shook his head. “I just don’t get it. Why lock yourself up here instead of being on the upper decks doing something fun.”

“If you can’t see fun in reading books, we don’t have much to talk about, do we?”

“Some may think you stay here for Haasan.”

It felt like someone spilled a cup of cold water down Rin’s spine. He knew. He knew. Or… he suspected something. Or maybe he didn’t and this was his attempt to rile Rin up. Everyone knew he was medistamped. Everyone expected him to react badly to an assumption of being attracted to a man. If he didn’t react with disgust, it would reveal a lot about him.

“I don’t stay here for Haasan.” Rin said through his teeth. This made him feel sick. “He is not here, is he? Otherwise, you wouldn’t have shown up.”

This definitely had some effect. Andrade’s grin tensed and his eyes narrowed. But he didn’t look angry. Yet. “Alright, then what is it? How’s this better than a theatre or a playground or a music hall?”

A sinking sensation of dread spread through Rin’s chest. He still thought about what he just said. What he just lied about. But he had no time to unpack it, he needed to deal with this man still present in the library. “It’s quiet, for one thing. Nobody is yelling or jumping around.”

Andrade leaned back slightly and considered something. “So, if there was somewhere else nice and quiet, where you can use your brain as a source of entertainment, but without being stuck in the ass end of nowhere, you may consider joining?”

This was literally the longest sentence Rin ever heard from the Chief Pilot in the year they’ve known each other. It was still confusing. “What are you even talking about?...”

“Card games. Txint and leher and such. Ever played?”

“Uhm.” Lying wasn’t Rin’s best skill. He searched for something believable in his memory but had to default to honesty. “... This is the first time I hear any of these names.”

“Seriously? What did you play then? Bacca? Jack? Poker?” A pause. “Fuck me over the controls station, this is just sad.”

Rin’s patience was running thin. He crossed arms on his chest and glared at Andrade, a pout and a frown settling firmly on his face. “Did you come here just to mock me, sir? Well, you’ve done it, you can now leave.”

The Chief Pilot rolled his eyes and sighed, annoyed. “Don’t be so sensitive. I’m just saying that the care system is a fucking joke, it screens people from so many fun things. And then they grow up like this.” He gestured towards Rin. This didn’t do anything to make his posture or expression change.

Andrade sighed again, exasperated. “Here’s a deal. Tomorrow, at the current time plus three hours, I’ll be waiting for you in the casino on the Fifth deck. Freeform cards table ‒ just ask the stewards on shift, they’ll point you to it. I’ll teach you txint.”

He looked at Rin expectantly, with the same face he used when he expected a perfect shift change report. But Rin just felt confused. This all seemed to come out of nowhere. Why would Andrade want to teach him to play cards? Was it another way of getting to Andrew while he was away? Or was it (and the thought made him nauseous) related to those weird bets? Surely not, this seemed too elaborate for that.

“What are you trying to achieve with this, sir? Why do you expect playing cards with me will lead to anything but us hating each other even more?”

“Perhaps, I want to try and fix it.” Andrade said. Then, as if laughing at the ridiculousness of this idea, he added: “Or maybe I am bored as fuck and I’m looking for an intelligent opponent, and you seem like the kind of person who can be good at txint if he tried it.”

The Chief Pilot watched Rin’s face closely for a long moment. Growing impatient, he added in a more even voice. “And if I remain bored, I might as well show up here every time the library’s open. This place looks in need of redecorating.

Rin’s jaw locked painfully at this. Andrade was fully aware of his position of power. And this was a threat. “Fine.” He spat out, then took a deeper breath. “Fine, I’ll come, as long as you don’t show up here again.”

This seemed to satisfy Andrade, and with a smirk and a mocking bow, he left. Rin didn’t stay for much longer. He powered down the main interface, dimmed the lights, and locked the main entrance. He then went up to the Second deck, and once there, headed the opposite direction from his cabin.

Andrade threatened him, and Rin surely had the right to report it. If the Chief Pilot did damage to the library, it would be more than just an inconvenience to Andrew. The captain would care. He should care, right? He often came down there to work, after all. The anger and determination were dwindling, but Rin reached the captain’s office to discover the door locked. Well, it was now the second shift proper so it made sense. Still, it wasn’t too late to call, was it? 

Fighting the rising anxiety, Rin pressed a call button on the door’s interface. A good minute passed before anything else happened, during which he felt like running away. This was silly. Andrade did nothing and he had no proof he would seriously attempt anything.

Then the door opened, and the Chief Engineer stood on the other side. He frowned down at the Third Pilot. “What?”

Rin swallowed. He should not have come here. But it was too late now. “Uhm, hello, Mr Hoffman. I was hoping to talk to the captain.”

Hoffman sighed and evidently fought an urge to look over his shoulder. Instead, she shook his head. “Not today, kid. Nick’s not having a good health day. I gave him a sleeping tab a couple of minutes ago, so he won’t be able to hold a coherent conversation.”

Rin nodded, and his misery probably showed on his face, because something in Hoffman’s expression shifted and he added: “Send him a message, okay? He’ll check it in the morning.”

“Thank you, sir. I will.”

But as Rin headed back to his cabin, hoping to catch a couple of hours of sleep before work, he knew he wouldn’t.