It was incredibly frustrating that my current ghostly form prevented me from enjoying a good night's sleep on a proper bed. Additionally, it made no sense to me how this ghostly body even worked or what my rules and limitations were. I would pass through any object or person, but I never fell through the floor, which made me think that gravity still applied to me. 

All these limitations made life worse, because it meant that in moments like these, where I had to wait, my actions were severely limited. There was not much I could do aside from like three things: observing my surroundings, thinking or sleeping on the cold floor like a dog. 

After looking through Ivan’s room for a while, I chose the last two options. You might expect a guy as flashy as Ivan to have an interesting room, but it was surprisingly sparse. Aside from a framed photo on his table and his king size bed, his room was mostly bare, as if he didn’t spend much time here. This made sense; Ivan was known to spend the majority of his time elsewhere, either crafting potions in the pharmacy or experimenting with spells in a dungeon.This room was only used for sleeping, and it showed. 

When the door to the room finally swung open, I had no idea how much time had passed during my light slumber. The only thing I noticed was that it had gotten pretty dark in the room, since I was unable to flip the switch myself. I sat up silently, my eyes trained on the silhouette framed by the open doorway.

With a soft hum, Ivan flipped the light switch, closing the door behind him in a swift yet gentle motion. The sudden brightness of the room stung my eyes, gradually adjusting to the luminosity emanating from the magical light bulb above me. Its radiance surpassed anything I was accustomed to, even in my own room or the hospital. 

A soft yawn left my lips as I raised my arms, stretching them slowly, awaiting Ivan’s cue to speak. Before he gave me the signal that it was safe to talk, I would not make more sounds than necessary.

I noticed his eyes lingering on me, the moment I raised my arms, but Ivan remained silent and only watched me curiously? The more we interacted,the more I felt like this Ivan was a closed book to me.

I couldn’t read him at all. 

At times he behaved like the Ivan I had spent so much time reading about and other times, he felt like a complete stranger. I didn’t know whether I liked this discrepancy or not. 

Silence enveloped the room, leaving both of us at a loss for words. The intense gaze fixed upon me started to make me uneasy.

Why did he continue to stare so intensely? Throughout the whole day, I would feel his eyes on me, when I wasn’t looking at him and I had no idea how to deal with it. Was he trying to assess my honesty or was he plotting how to bully me next?

I glanced back, catching him in the act of staring with an expressionless face that swiftly transformed into his familiar mischievous glimmer the moment our eyes met. A certain foreboding feeling settled in my stomach, but I pushed it aside, to stay focused.

“You curl up like a hedgehog when you sleep; it’s pretty cute.” 

In a matter of a few seconds, my face grew hot, and I couldn’t remain silent anymore.

“Are you a pervert? How the hell did you even notice that?! I sputtered, my voice escalating into a shrill tone. “Were you watching me while I was napping?” 

Unfazed by my outburst, Ivan just laughed at my pitiful expression, relishing in his merciless teasing. This sick bastard clearly derived some satisfaction from bullying me like this! Annoyed by his smugness, I raised my fist to punch him on the arm, only for my hand to go right through him. 

My head drooped again, and I only clicked my tongue in frustration. For a brief second, I had forgotten that I was a ghost, yet reality swiftly brought me back down. I was once again reminded of the ethereal state of my body. It felt ironic how I could forget my condition in the heat of the moment when there was so much I couldn't do in my current state.

Interrupting my approaching string of gloomy thoughts, Ivan's clear voice broke through.

"I'll find a way to bring you back to a normal state."

I couldn’t help but turn my head back to him, when he spoke in such a determined way. Despite being a repeated statement, the determination in his voice felt different, almost like a resolute declaration that he would do whatever it took. How did he manage to switch so fast between being a pervert in one moment and looking kinda cool like this? ‘Protagonist privileges’ were one hell of a drug and with a face like his, he’d be able to get away with anything. 

“We’ll run a few more tests tomorrow, and then I’ll work out the best solution.”

The mention of the word ‘tests’, made goosebumps rise up on the back of my neck. I didn’t like the sound of this one bit and quickly raised my voice. 

“No surprises tomorrow! If you dare splash me with cold water again, I’ll haunt you until the end of your days!!”

Ivan laughed my threat off like the overpowered mage he was and turned back into his bully-self, “I was actually thinking of being nice to you tomorrow, but this is pretty tempting~”

There was no winning here, so I took a deep breath, calming my racing heart and chose to ignore him. No matter what I’d say, he’d only use it as fodder to tease me more. Was my embarrassed and humiliated face that funny to him or was there something I was missing? 

After a moment of silence, Ivan addressed me in a low, calm voice. “All jokes aside, I won’t hurt you tomorrow. There are only a few more things left that I need to check...”

This actually jogged my memory, why was it that only Ivan was able to see me? Was it because he was a mage? Without actually meaning to, I voiced my thoughts to him which elicited a curious gaze.

“Do you think other mages might be able to see me? When I walked through the central plaza no one seemed able to notice me.” Considering the average number of mages in this town, there should have been a few present, but none of them acknowledged my presence. 

“If that were the case, I’d assume it would only be the high ranking ones. But honestly…” Ivan trailed off, pausing to scratch the back of his head. “I think there might be another reason why only I can see you,” he added, his words oozing a meaningful underlying message, even he seemed to hesitate to spell out.

“Maybe there’s some kind of connection between us that made this possible?” 

Did he figure out that I knew him reading about him?

Thump. Thump. Thump. 

My heart started to pound so loud, I even felt the blood rush in my ears, which drowned out every other sound.

In my panic, I failed to conceal the surprise on my face, but Ivan didn’t seem to notice me. 

He stared off into space with a melancholic expression, as if he was stuck in some odd remembrance. Taking advantage of the moment I put a tentative hand over my heart and tried to calm myself. The rhythmic drumming of my loud heart on my fingertips reminded me that there still was a beating heart in my chest, helping me regain my countenance again. 

When I realized that Ivan still stared off into some point far away, I felt lonely, like I was somehow left behind as Ivan ventured somewhere I was unable to reach. If the only person who was able to see me in this world suddenly left, I would truly be all alone. Anxiety started to course through my body at these thoughts and I instinctively reached out with my right hand towards his face, despite knowing it was a futile action. 

“Please, don’t leave me alone.” 

I didn’t even realize at first that the words had left my mouth because of my sudden growing emotional instability.

Bracing myself for disappointment, I shut my stinging eyes closed and waited for the dizzying feeling the moment my hand went through, but there was only a light sensation at the back of my hand, like a feather tickling it. I snapped my eyes open again and in my blurry vision I saw Ivan observe me calmly, my hand mere centimeters away from his cheek and his own hand lightly positioned above mine. His fingertips were grazing the back of my ghostly hand, which caused the tickly sensation I was feeling. 

The gentle and unexpected gesture made me gulp back a broken sob, as tears started running down my face. I was embarrassed how emotional I had gotten again, but something at the back of my mind told me I could chalk this up to my current condition. Ever since I had found myself in this ghostly state, my emotions and doubts weighed heavier on me than usual. It was as if someone had set my emotions to a maximum.

“I won’t leave you. There is still something important I need to do,” Ivan whispered.

We stayed like this for a long time, until I had calmed down properly. During that time, Ivan had stayed silent and had only moved to reposition his hand together with mine, when I pulled back to rest my hand on the ground. 

My tears had subsided and I expected to feel embarrassed by his bold show of companionship, but it had the opposite effect on me. I felt soothed knowing he was beside me, even if it was self-indulgent to think so. Part of me wished to just lean on him for a while, but that was physically impossible right now. Maybe if Ivan managed to cure me from this condition, I’d be able to lean on him one day.