After ensuring Dragan had safely arrived home, I set out to locate Ivan's pharmacy. In the morning, after my heated reaction, I felt too embarrassed to ask Ivan for its exact location, but I wasn't concerned. Thanks to my efforts in shadowing Dragan earlier, I had a good recollection of the general area. Combined with my knowledge from reading about it, I could hazard a guess where I could find the pharmacy.

It took me around ten minutes to find the sign I was searching for. Tucked away in a quiet backstreet, far removed from the bustling central plaza, was Ivan's pharmacy. The surrounding neighborhood consisted mostly of residential houses, with no other shops in sight, which struck me as somewhat unusual. However, knowing Ivan's aversion to disturbances, his choice of location made perfect sense. I presumed he deliberately opted for this secluded spot, and yet, people still sought him out frequently. Life truly did work in mysterious ways.

What set Ivan's pharmacy apart from the neighboring houses was the front window display showcasing a variety of potions enticing passersby, along with a prominent sign that simply read "Pharmacy." He intentionally omitted his own name, likely to avoid direct association and maintain a certain level of anonymity.

I approached the entrance of the pharmacy with caution, but before entering, I decided to peer through the window facade to assess the situation inside. Ivan didn’t know that I would be visiting him and I had a distinct feeling, he’d try talking to me the moment he saw me. I noticed an elderly woman and a child standing in front of the counter, but to my surprise, Ivan was nowhere to be seen.

Maybe he went to a backroom to grab the right potion and medicine?

I took advantage of his absence and entered the pharmacy to find a corner where I could observe him without drawing his attention. In all honesty, I was curious to see how he interacted with other people and wanted to witness his natural demeanor. There was this nagging feeling that he treated me differently than others that I wanted to get rid off.

I positioned myself behind a shelf, making sure I would remain out of sight from the counter while maintaining a good view for myself.  Not long after, Ivan returned from his back room with an emerald green potion and a little pouch in hand. 

“This is for you, Madame,” he said, handing the elderly woman the green potion. Then he turned his attention to the child. “And this is a little bonus for you! Be a good brother and share it with your little sister.”

The child eagerly took the pouch, opened it with wide-eyed curiosity, and pulled out something small. From my distance, it was difficult to make out the exact details, but it looked like a konpeito, a colorful japanese candy.

Why did he have those?

Ivan playfully wiggled a finger and cheerfully explained to the boy what he was holding. "Your grandma mentioned that you and your sister have been feeling a bit weak lately, so I put some magic inside those~ ☆" 

He leaned forward slightly, whispering something to the old lady, and I strained to catch any snippets of their conversation. Though I couldn't make out the exact words, I had a feeling Ivan was explaining to her that the konpeito served as a form of medicine, ensuring the children would willingly take their doses. It was endearing to see the care and thoughtfulness he put into making the medicine appealing to young ones.

As this realization sank in, a wave of fondness washed over me. I didn’t remember how I had convinced myself that Ivan was some cold man, but that was clearly not the case. In the book he might’ve been described that way, but reality was different.

I thought back to all the times I had called him names in the few times we had talked to each other. He had been nothing but nice to me and I always found a way to complain or curse him out, when he teased me.

When I snapped out of my guilty thoughts, I noticed that the pharmacy was empty again. The elderly woman and child had left while I had lost myself in my thoughts.

“It’s so cute of you to come watch me like this. Did you miss me?❤︎” Ivan whispered right behind me, causing me to jolt away in surprise. Thank god, I was a ghost right now, otherwise I would’ve jumped at the shelf and made a huge mess. Ivan, seemingly amused by my panicky reaction, stood there with a playful smile on his lips.

I couldn't help but wonder when he had realized I was there, observing him. 

“Please don’t scare me like that again, or I might truly become a ghost," I mumbled with a slight pout, making an effort to restrain myself from yelling or cursing at him. It was my first step towards changing my ungrateful behavior.

Ivan raised an eyebrow, clearly taken aback by my unusually mellow words. He seemed curious about what could have caused this shift in my demeanor, or so I assumed.

“Did something happen?” His voice dropped, as he acknowledged the change in the atmosphere. 

I quickly shook my head, trying to assure Ivan that nothing significant had happened. To my surprise his strangely tense shoulders relaxed, as if he was relieved about my nonverbal answer. He couldn’t have been worrying about my safety while I was gone, could he…?

As I pondered what to say next, my mind raced with various thoughts. However, I couldn't help but blurt out the first thing that came to mind in my stream of consciousness, an impulsive statement I immediately regretted.

“You should visit your master more often.”

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment, realizing I had spoken too much once again. Anxious and afraid of what Ivan's reaction might be, I turned away without daring to meet his gaze. If he put two and two together, I didn’t want to see his reaction. In that case, I knew what to do preemptively.

Without taking a look at Ivan, I turned around to leave and made my exit.

“Let’s talk in your room later.” My voice came out even more meek than before, making me feel even worse.

Not waiting for him to say anything else, I hurriedly walked out and ran to the next corner, my heart pounding in my chest. I felt utterly ashamed of my cowardly behavior, but the fear of exposing Ivan to ridicule and jeopardizing his reputation had overwhelmed me. Discussing serious topics in the pharmacy seemed far too risky, and I couldn't bear the thought of him being perceived as insane for conversing with thin air.

Finally reaching the corner, I came to a stop, gasping for breath. Despite my current form as an invisible entity, the exertion still affected me, reminding me of my generally weak constitution. It was to be expected from someone who spent almost all of his last days in a hospital room. 

It took me a solid minute to collect myself again, my emotions overflowing once again.

“Here you are, Rêve!” Ivan's voice suddenly broke through my thoughts, and I turned around, unable to meet his gaze. The shame I felt was palpable, as if it was etched across my invisible face.

A sensation of a feather-like touch, like a single finger grazing across my cheek, forced me to look at Ivan, who observed me with a calm expression. It was not anger that greeted me, but something I had a hard time to decipher. 

“Don’t beat yourself up like this. I'm not angry with you,” Ivan's voice resonated softly, offering solace to my frazzled mind.

I blinked helplessly, my emotions in turmoil as I fought back the lump forming in my throat. 

Why was he so kind to me?

Ivan's kindness and understanding overwhelmed me, a stark contrast to my own unstable temperament in this ghostly form.

“You said we’ll talk later, so you don’t need to worry. I won’t push you now.“ Ivan smiled at me with a strangely compassionate expression, ghosting his finger once again over my transparent cheek.

In my overly emotional state, I almost missed his whispered words. “I wish I could touch you properly…” 

Rather than feeling ashamed or embarrassed as I usually would, I understood what he meant. I, too, wished someone could touch me –  to feel the warmth and solidity of another person in a moment like this, but it was a luxury I didn’t have right now. 

Creating some distance between us, Ivan spoke again.

“Go back home and take a break until I’m done. I need to get back to the pharmacy now.” While he was in a hurry, he still made sure that I had calmed down, before he left me alone.