Inspired by the daily routine I saw when I had pet chickens, who are the best debuggers in the field.

1. “A flow chart for finding bugs (if you’re a chicken).” Go to 2.

2. “Keep your eyes out for bad guys while scratching twice with your left foot.” Go to 3.

3. “See any bad guys?” If yes, go to 4. If no, go to 6.

4. “Set off the klaxon so everybody knows.” A chicken with its neck all long in ET fashion, as they do, yelling, “Kedawket! Ket ket! Kedawket!” which is just what a chicken air-raid siren sounds like. Go to 5.

5. “Coast clear?” If no, return to 4. If yes, return to 2.

6. “Scratch twice with right foot.” Go to 7.

7. “Check for bugs.” The chicken bows her head and inspects the ground. Go to 8.

8. “Any bugs?” If no, return to 2. If yes, go to 9.

9. “Pick up the bug and prance around while yelling about how great it is.” A chicken going “BEEP beep BEEP beep BEEP beep.” Go to 10.

10. “Ate it?” If yes, go to 12. If no, go to 11.

11. “SOMEhow, someone heard you had a bug and THEY ate it.” The protagonist chicken says “Beep?” and watches in disappointment while another chicken eats the bug, going “nom nom.” Return to 2.

12. “Say it was yummy.” A chicken fluffing out her feathers and saying “arrgwyly,” which I assure you is exactly the yummy-sound my chickens made about bugs, or especially popcorn. It sounds kind of like a pirate, or a dinosaur, or a pirate dinosaur, which is a perfectly good description of chickens. Return to 2.