‘Are you alright, Simon?’ Sarah said, bending over to get her face into his field of view.

Simon gave a start as he came back to a sense of where he was and looked around. There was a group of smokers at the back door but far enough away that he could only hear a murmur of voices. Fortunately, the wind was also blowing away from them so his lunch, a barely touched BLT from Pret, didn’t smell of smoke.

‘Yeah, I’m fine.’

‘Mind if I join you, then?’

Simon wasn’t thrilled but shifted along the bench the office had put out in the small green space at the back of the building and gave a slight nod.

‘How’s your prep going for your week in charge?’ Sarah asked.

‘Fine. There isn’t much to do since you’ve worked so hard to wrap things up before you go away.’

‘And the team? I get the feeling they’re looking forward to you being in charge. Don’t let them give you any problems.’

‘They’re all grownups and more than capable of looking after themselves.’

‘What about the interns? Liz said they’re already following you around.’

‘Yeah,’ Simon said and ran his fingers through his hair. He was too tired for a conversation, but the situation with the interns was stranger than usual. He always had some contact with interns and was happy to teach any newbies the ropes, but these two were especially enthusiastic. ‘Aisha asks me a hundred questions a day and Brian seems to think I need constant coffee refills.’

Sarah laughed and said, ‘Lucky you.’

‘Why?’

‘Aisha told me that your work is amazing. She’s determined to learn as much as she can from you while she’s here. You should feel flattered.’

‘And Brian?’

‘Well… Brian’s gay.’

Simon was definitely too tired to interpret Sarah’s amused smile and just shrugged.

‘Everyone in the office thinks he fancies you and as you are sexually ambiguous, I guess he decided it’s worth a try.’

‘I’m sexually ambiguous?’

‘Nobody knows whether you prefer men or women or even whether you’re asexual.’

‘Is that an actual topic of conversation?’ Simon asked, not knowing what to do with the information.

‘Don’t worry, we don’t go on and on about it. But as you’ve never had a partner and you’re a good-looking guy, people have talked.’

‘Oh.’

Simon wondered whether people’s curiosity was worth getting upset about.

‘Are you okay? You’ve been looking spaced out all morning.’

‘I had a weird night.’ Simon couldn’t think how else to explain. ‘Your friend Jaq showed up drunk and landed up sleeping on my floor.’ The moment the words were out, Simon wished he could take them back, but it was too late. ‘Does she do that kind of thing often?’

‘Jaq? Never as far as I’m aware. She must really trust you.’

Simon highly doubted that but thought it best not to say so. Otherwise he’d have to explain, and that was impossible, not without revealing that he had a criminal past.

‘But why would she even go to your flat?’ Sarah asked.

Simon regretted having brought the subject up, because to explain he’d have to tell her about his past. This was something he’d never do.

‘I don’t know. I’m close to the police station, I guess.’

‘So you didn’t ask her?’

‘She wasn’t exactly sober when she arrived, and I had to leave for work before she woke up. All I can tell you is she was muttering sorry, sorry,’ Simon said and waved his hand in dismissal.

Sarah, though, appeared to be fascinated.

‘Maybe she felt bad about hauling you in when Liz vanished. Jaq’s terrible at admitting when she’s at fault. The alcohol probably helped her screw up the courage to see you.’

Simon gave her an awkward shrug come grimace, praying she didn’t ask him more.

‘Does Jaq have a boyfriend?’

The question escaped him when it was still half-formed. Maybe he needed to know in case Jaq turned up drunk again, so he had somebody to call. Sarah misunderstood and swivelled on the bench to face him properly, a conspiratorial smile creasing her face.

‘Why? Do you fancy her?’

‘No, of course not. I just…’ What could he say?

‘She doesn’t, but not for lack of trying. Actually, never mind that,’ Sarah said, flapping her hands in dismissal. ‘Now that I think about it, you two could be good together.’

‘No, I really don’t think—’

‘She comes over as abrupt and very direct and she doesn’t suffer fools gladly, but she’s a great woman. You couldn’t find any better,’ Sarah said, ignoring Simon’s shaking head. ‘She saved my life when we were at school, nothing dramatic. I knocked myself out diving into the pool. If she hadn’t noticed and rescued me, I probably would have drowned. And you’ve already met her a couple of times, so you’re halfway there on the getting to know you front.’

‘She arrested me,’ Simon said.

Sarah laughed.

‘Wouldn’t that be the perfect thing to tell your kids when they ask how the two of you met?’

‘No, really, I don’t think she likes me at all.’

‘That’s just her brusqueness getting in the way of her love life again. Seriously, give her a chance.’

Simon just blinked at Sarah, overwhelmed by her enthusiasm. He’d never considered getting a girlfriend. It was too fraught a subject entangled with hideous memories, his own burning desires and paralysing fears. It was never going to happen with anyone, but especially not a cop who knew too much about him.

‘Think about it,’ Sarah said, gave Simon a wave and went back inside.

Simon stared at his half-eaten sandwich, sighed and slid it back into its cardboard container. He eased the fiddly plastic lid back on and returned to his desk.

‘Coffee, boss!’ Brian said seconds later and slid a full mug into Simon’s view.

Until today, Simon had merely nodded his thanks and kept working. Today he leaned back in his seat and looked up at the rosy faced boy with the wavy brown hair and sincere blue eyes. He supposed he looked… star-struck, maybe bashful?

‘Umm… Brian… I’m not gay,’ Simon said and regretted the words the moment he’d uttered them as Brian’s expression turned from astonished to embarrassed. ‘I mean… it’s fine. I’m… I just don’t want you to waste your time.’

‘Understood,’ Brian said, his cheeks growing redder. ‘But if you don’t mind, I’ll just carry on as before.’

‘Okay.’ This was unfamiliar territory for Simon, who supposed he’d been naïve to assume his sexuality and hangups were his own business. ‘You do make excellent coffee.’

***

‘You look fabulous,’ Sarah said as she gave Jaq an appraising stare while the two of them stood in front of a full-length mirror.

‘The only one who looks fab here is you,’ Jaq said, adjusting the folds on Sarah’s lacy ivory wedding veil. ‘Which is as it should be. Nobody should outshine the bride.’

‘Quite right!’ Sarah gave her trademark cheeky smile that crinkled her nose charmingly and that didn’t quite go with her elegant bride’s makeup.

‘All the same, this dress…’ Jaq murmured, as Sarah was called away to do the finishing touches to her makeup.

It was a lilac bridesmaid dress with far too many frills, ribbons and lace that had cost a small fortune. Jaq hadn’t minded. Sarah was her best friend, after all. Even though she would never wear the dress again and she looked like she’d escaped from a Victorian melodrama, it was a fair trade.

Jaq’s personal style tended to be figure hugging with minimal ornamentation or even patterns. At most, she might opt for some layering. At the moment, she felt like a gangly sugar plum fairy.

There was no time to worry about that though, as there seemed to be a hundred and one things still to be done for the wedding. Since neither Sarah nor Aaron were religious, they’d opted for a humanist wedding and blown their budget on a fancy country manor hotel, so at least most things were being managed by the hotel staff. Still, there were requests and queries from friends and hotel staff alike and it was Jaq’s role to deal with as many as possible to ensure Sarah’s day passed with minimal stress.

‘I hardly slept a wink last night,’ Sarah said as she headed for the door that opened into the hotel ballroom and stood fidgeting with her bouquet.

‘It doesn’t show. You look radiant,’ Jaq said.

‘Do you have the ring?’

‘Of course.’ Jaq held the small red velvet box out for inspection. ‘It will be fine.’

Which was what she’d been saying since the hen night party the weekend before and she was right. Sarah’s dad walked her down the aisle looking very proud. The service was lovely, the reception speeches were short and humorous and the food was delicious.

Then, just before the music struck up for the dancing, Sarah threw her bouquet out into the crowd. It flew straight towards Jaq, who had no choice but to catch it if she didn’t want to be hit in the face.

‘You did that deliberately,’ Jaq said when Sarah returned to the top table after her opening waltz with Aaron.

‘Of course I did,’ Sarah said with her disarming laugh. ‘How is your romantic life progressing?’

‘It’s going absolutely nowhere,’ Jaq said with an expressive sigh. ‘Rob asked me out on a date and I told him I’d have to take a rain check as I was working.’

‘Does he know what you do yet?’

‘Not yet, but he’s getting progressively more inquisitive. I think I’m going to have to blow him off. I deliberately didn’t agree to be his date today because I said I had too much to do for you, but he’s asked me for the first dance.’

‘You can at least give him that. I thought the two of you got on pretty well at our double date.’

‘Superficially, yes. I’m pretty good at being blokey. It’s essential with my work colleagues.’

‘You’re too picky.’

‘I thought you weren’t so keen on him.’

‘Yes… no… I just thought it would be nice if we could go on foursomes again. It was fun.’

‘Anyway, you also accuse me of being too intimidating.’

‘You’re very straightforward. You call bullshit the moment you spot it, and unfortunately Rob is rather prolific when it comes to talking nonsense. And your career has only accentuated that trait of yours. Sometimes, when I’ve overheard you making small talk with a man, it sounds too much like a police interrogation. Who would want that?’

‘Well, I will not change just to get a man. It would feel phoney.’

‘Just tone it down for the first couple of dates. Once you decide you like a guy and he likes you, you could show your assertive side.’

‘That’s too dishonest, and I’m not a great actor. I doubt I’d pull off. I’m just going to have to accept that I’ll always be single.’

‘Nonsense, you’re not a quitter and we have plenty of good looking single guys here today, so get out there and mingle.’

‘Who am I to disobey such an order?’ Jaq said and since her duties as the Maid-of-Honour were now discharged, she spent a pleasant couple of hours dancing with whoever came up to her, Rob included, but she made a point of not giving him the idea he had exclusive rights to her.

It was easy enough to find dance partners. Men were drawn to her looks. It was her personality that put them off.

As the night progressed, she felt increasingly uncomfortable in the hideous lavender dress and decided she’d done enough and could get changed. So she pushed her way through the cheerfully chatting crowd and out into the quieter hotel foyer. It was considerably cooler out here and as the door closed, the sound of music and chatter became muted and she felt herself relax.

She took a deep breath and looked about. On the far side of the room, she spotted a man facing the notice board, his finger tracing along a line of text as he silently mouthed the words. He looked rather dashing in a dark grey suit, and she decided he was worth a punt. Then she got closer and realised it was Simon White.