When I wake up the next morning, I’m a mess of nerves. I try my best to justify the reason I may have overshared. 

I can’t seem to find any. I guess the adrenaline, hunger, and dehydration probably became a factor. 

My friendship with Icarus was sort of weird. We hadn’t talked much before, I was actually surprised that he would have entrusted me with such information. I guess I treated it like an exchange of information. 

What’s done is done, but I still feel the need to do some damage control. The problem was that even though I had a friendship with Icarus, we weren’t that close. So I technically didn't have a way to contact him. 

I’m pacing around in my room. 

Maybe I can ask one of his brothers? No, that's too weird.

I spend what I feel like an eternity thinking, when I feel my phone buzz. 

Unknown number 12:05 pm

I did a thing. 

I have never seen this number in my life

Logan 12:06 pm

Who’s this? And how do you have my number?

Unknown number 12:07 pm 

Jordan gave me your number 

Logan 12:08 pm

Doesn’t answer my first question

Unknown number 12:09 pm

Oh. Icarus. 

Logan 12:10 pm

Why do you have my number 

Icarus 12:11 pm

Well. It was more for a joke 

Logan 12:12 pm

So what did you do

Logan 12:12 pm

?

Icarus 12:13 pm

I over share when I’m either tired or in a good mood 

Icarus 12:13 pm

And Jo texted me last night at like 1 am 

Logan 12:14 pm

What did you do 

Icarus 12:14 pm

We talked till 4 in the morning 

Icarus 12:14 pm

And I only remember saying one thing 

Logan 12:15 pm

Oh no 

Logan 12:15 pm

What did you say?

I’m freaking out at this point. My heart is racing at the thought of what this child could have possibly done. 

Icarus 12:15 pm

It’s better if I show you 

He sends me a screenshot of his conversation with Jo from the night before. 

It read 

Jo 2:02 am

I don’t like texting because I overthink what I say. It kinda freaks me out

Icarus 2:03 am 

Oh yeah

Jo 2:03 am

Yeah I have an issue with that

Icarus 2:03 am

Wanna see something that you can’t overthink at all

Jo 2:03 am

Mhm 

Icarus 2:03 am

I like you

Icarus 2:03 am

Boom 

I have to physically drop my phone and walk away. 

I can’t believe this kid. 

I take a lap around my room. 

And another one. 

I take a deep breath before I pick up my phone again. There’s three unread messages from Icarus

Icarus 12:16

So that happened 

Icarus 12:16

And now I’m like super on edge 

Icarus 12:16

And also experiencing feeling of 

Logan 12:17

Anxiety?

Icarus 12:17 pm

Mostly regret and a lot of overthinking and anxiety

Icarus 12:17 pm

We talked for about 2 hours after that too. And I’m a different person at 2am

Icarus 12:17 pm

Like why would I do that 

Icarus 12:17 pm

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

He’s screaming? I want to unread everything that just happened. 

Logan 12:18 pm

Maybe you did it because you like her 

Logan 12:18 pm

It’s a cause and effect thing 

Icarus 12:18 pm

True 

Icarus 12:18 pm

Oh yeah you were the first person I told that. 

Icarus 12:18 pm

Like out of everyone 

Aww. That’s actually adorable. There’s no way I could help him. My own non-existent love life is in shambles. 

Logan 12:19 pm

Do you feel like the conversation got awkward after that? 

Icarus 12:19 pm

Not really no 

Icarus 12:19 pm

We just kept talking

Logan 12:20 pm

Well that’s a good sign. I think

Icarus 12:20 pm

You think?!

Logan 12:20 pm

I can actually hear you screaming at me 

Icarus 12:21 pm

Would you believe me if I told you I said that out loud 

Logan 12:21 pm

Yes. That’s why I heard it 

Logan 12:21 pm

Well… how did she respond?

Icarus 12:22 pm

Honestly 

Icarus 12:22 pm

I don’t remember 

Icarus 12:22 pm

And I’m scared to look 

Logan 12:22 pm

…

Icarus 12:23 pm

Look 

Icarus 12:23 pm

Ok 

Logan 12:24 pm

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T LOOKED

This kid is going to give me a stress headache

Stress headache 12:25 pm

Just. 

Stress headache 12:25 pm

Fine. Ok here’s how I went 

Logan 12:25 pm

You can’t see it. But I’m using my judgy eyes. What do you mean you don’t know? 

Stress headache 12:26 pm

It was 2 in the morning I was 90% asleep 

Stress headache 12:26 pm

But 

Stress headache 12:27 pm

I found it 

Icarus sent me another screenshot, this one read:

Jo 2:12 am

I knew what you meant but i didn’t know how to respond

Icarus 2:12 am

I mean, you don’t have to lol

Icarus 2:12 am

It’s me

Jo 2:12 am

Not many people like me like that i don’t think

Jo 2:12 am

And when they have it’s for dumb things

There’s a message from icarus attached with the picture

Stress headache 12:27 pm

My end is just me saying that I’m not going to act any different that I normally would, cause I’m not

I received another screenshot.

 Jo 2:15 am

I’m not really looking for a relationship

Jo 2:15 am

:( 

Icarus 2:15 am

Cool

Icarus 2:15 am

Like I said

Icarus 2:15 am

Don’t think about it

Jo 2:15 am

I’m sorry

Jo 2:15 am

I don’t think of you different

I sent a message attached to the screenshot. 

Logan 12:28 pm

Ok. ok. So this is a good thing, right?

Logan 12:28 pm

Out of all of this, how do you feel about it?

He only responds to my first message,

Icarus 12:28 pm 

Yes, I’d hope so

It’s radio silence from Icarus for a couple of days. These days I realize that he came to terms about how he felt about Jo and a couple of hours later, he just told her. Without question. Just sent her a text. 

I started to think that I could do something similar. I could just send him a message. Just to get it out of the way. 

I open up my messages app, and I scroll to Noah’s name, and I start to type

So I have something to tell you. This conversation has played more than a thousand times in my head, but every time I end up telling you the same thing:

I had feelings for you. And I have been trying to talk to you in person, but lately I feel like you are avoiding me and that kinda makes it harder for me to talk to you. I want to make it clear that I’m only telling you this for me. I honestly don’t care whether or not you feel the same way. And I don’t expect anything to happen after this. The reason I’m telling you is because I want to move on, and I can’t seem to do that without letting you know first. I wouldn’t be fair to you. I also know that I’ve been kinda of a jerk and I’m sorry for that. 

These past few months that we haven’t spoken I came to the realization that I miss being friends with you. I miss joking around, and hearing your dumb jokes. I miss those times. I know that after I send this, things probably won’t be the same, but if it’s ok with you, I would like to be friends again. (It doesn’t have to be now) 

I know you’ve been going through it, so if you want to be left alone, I understand. 

I know it’s selfish of me to ask, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell Jo. I love her very much, and it would hurt me if I lost her as a friend. I would like to be given the opportunity to tell her myself. 

I go to hit send.