how am I supposed to feel these things all at the same time?

hatred, sadness, love, and happiness,

im puzzled, was it supposed to be mixed with delightness?

The ink on the print started smudging

as if my tears are acid slowly sinking

into the deep pores of what is known

and into the shallow depths of what is unknown

Scared, I am for what is ahead,

the things I've seen from behind

are what stops me with its head

what kind should it be here in my mind?

A mask of anonymity, 

familiarity descends into me

how can I be puzzled if this is how its supposed to be,

have been doing nothing but distracting myself of what I should see

A surge of black tint flooded into me,

what have I been expecting after all these years?

or should i say months if that's what you need to hear,

a bland array of colors are things that stir.

When would it stop, these feelings,

pushing me into the table of dealings,

making me bet on the risks,

with invisibility on the list.

Its unknown, this familiarity,

I guess its just company of these years

maybe it is just dainty,

and i should just face my fears.