Beck
I'm bleeding right now.
I wish that was an euphemism, but it's not. I really am injured by a real life big sized wolf. I was lucky that I changed my sparring partner, because if this was my previous opponent, I'd be in much worse shape.
After my dad commanded the warrior to shift into a wolf, he had no choice but to comply. He went to the changing station - you have to be naked in order to shift, so there's a place nearby to do it with some privacy - and returned as a fully realized wolf.
Then, my dad ordered him to attack me so that I'd learn how to defend myself against one.
Sure. That's the equivalent of throwing someone in the deep end of the pool and hoping they’ll learn how to swim instead of drowning. Except the pool doesn't have teeth the size that would make a vampire jealous.
No, that wasn't an exaggeration. The hyperbole is that I now have more bite marks on me than a dog's chew toy.
Once my father was satisfied that I was in enough pain, he ended the 'fight' and sent me to the medic for treatment of the wounds.
My colleague later apologized to me for the injuries, but I told him it wasn't his fault.
Why would you send someone who can't even shift to fight a wolf? What's the lesson in that?
Honestly, I lost the last shred of respect I had for my father. Before today, I could justify some of his behavior but now…
Between this stunt and the 'breeding partner' speech, I'm hellbent on leaving this reservation as soon as possible. I don't care if I have to beg on the streets, I won't stay here. I'm done.
There are no more excuses for his behavior. None. I'm so fed up with all his bullshit that even in the face of clear danger, I can't bring myself to fight him or complain about his decision to have me nearly maimed for his entertainment.
I know he thinks he's punishing me, adjusting my behavior or whatever crazy justification he concocted in his mind, but I don't care anymore.
He somehow thinks he's got the upper hand because he has all the power. Little does he know how much I load him and his macho hubris.
Funny enough, if he was actually a decent human being, maybe I could be persuaded to do what he wants and follow in his footsteps. But no, he had to be a jerk about it.
He had to flaunt his power as if that was gonna make me any less gay, any less rebellious. Bitch please…
If there's one universal truth in the world, it is that you can't change someone's sexuality. That's not how the human spectrum works. You can will yourself into thinking whatever or convince yourself that you're not so inclined, but eventually the bill will come.
It's psychology 101, the more you deny it, the stronger it'll fight back. And I'm done fighting this. I am who I am and will not change it for anyone.
After I was patched up by the healer, I stayed put in my father's office in mortal silence. I didn't whine, complained about anything. I did what I was supposed to do and breathed not a word to him.
When he tried to tell me something, I listened and remained quiet. If I was supposed to do a task, I performed it without speaking a word.
He thinks I'm giving him the silent treatment, but in reality I'm already checked out. If I'm forced to play this part, I don't need to be talkative to do so. I will act as required of me, since there's no alternative. But that's it.
Later that day, as soon as my mother laid eyes on me she noticed the bandages and asked me what happened.
Once I told her what he had forced me to do, she was horrified. My mother asked me if I was in any pain, to which I replied I wasn't.
Not anymore. Not like when I felt a wolf's canine perforate my skin. She hugged me and apologized for all my suffering.
My father expected her to shout at him for that, but instead she cooked dinner like nothing ever happened.
Ironically, this freaked him - and me - out. He expected her to fight him or storm out with me, but instead she acted like a normal day.
I was mesmerized by her attitude, but at this point maybe she's just as fed up as me. He's not gonna change. In fact, he probably will never change his ways.
It's tough to convince someone they're doing something wrong when they're so mind fucked into thinking they're right. Even if their reasoning is as flawed as blaming jewish people for the downfall of Germany by the nazis.
It's sad because my father wasn't always like this. When I was a kid, he was actually decent to me growing up. He's not a bad person, but his way of thinking has somehow shifted so much lately that he is convinced that it's his way or nothing.
It's really sad because he managed to alienate his loved ones, especially his own mate.
I don't speak for myself when I say he's done it this time. If my mother ceased to fight him, then she might have gone past the point of no return.
I don't claim to know women, but if I were my dad I'd be very afraid. Women, unlike men, do their worst when they're quiet. Thinking, scheming, strategizing.
Dinner was served and it was terrific. My mom is an excellent cook. She was eerily quiet the whole evening and my dad is probably thinking she's giving him the silent treatment as well.
I helped her with the dishes and when I went to my bedroom, my pajamas set was already on the bed for me to change into. I found it odd, but thought my mom probably had pressed it for me.
I changed clothes and laid down on the bed for a while scrolling through my phone. Mom went to the guest room where she has been sleeping lately and her mate stayed in his.
I had just started snoozing when I was shaken by my mom. She startled me, telling me to get up. I was confused by it at first, then she handed me a change of clothes and told me to get dressed quickly, leaving my room next.
In a moment, she returned to take me out of the house sneakily. She wasn’t carrying anything except for her purse and I was still confused about why she was taking me out of the house at 11 p.m.
Her car was parked in front of the house and she told me to get into it. I'm so confused right now. Where are we going at this hour?
She started the car and I was still looking at her puzzled.
"Where are we going, mom?" - I asked her, worriedly.
"I'm leaving your father. We're getting off the reservation." - She replied and I gasped in shock.
"You're leaving your mate?!" - I was genuinely baffled by this.
"That is NOT the man I fell in love with. He went too far. I'm not letting him kill my son in some frivolous pursuit to prepare you for a position you don't even want." - She replied, leaving me breathless.
"How am I supposed to go anywhere without my things? I don't have any clothes except for the ones I'm wearing." - I asked her, confused by this.
"Sweetie, your possessions have already been packed. It's in the trunk of the car alongside my personal belongings." - She explained and my eyes widened in shock. I guess now I know why she had set my pajamas aside. She didn’t want me looking into the closet and asking questions as to why it’s empty.
"Wow. And where are we moving into? Another reservation? They're gonna call my father once we get settled." - I wondered, both apprehensive and intrigued.
"No, Beck. We're not going to another reservation. That ship has sailed. We're moving to a larger pack. One where we shouldn't be bothered." - She replied, sounding relieved.
I’m gobsmacked. How did she pull this off so quickly? I don’t think this is a spur of the moment kind of thing…
“How did you manage to get approved into another pack so fast?” - I was genuinely impressed by her.
“I have a cousin living in Ruckerford Falls, Texas. I called her and she helped expedite my request for sanctuary. It was either this or wait around for your father to kill you.” - She replied, causing me to nearly gag at her bluntness. Not that she’s wrong.
I gulped awkwardly as she drove.
“I’m sorry you have to leave your whole life behind. I never wanted this for you.” - I said, feeling guilty. I don’t like being the reason for my parents to split up. I can’t help the way I am.
“Beck, listen to me very carefully now. This is NOT your fault. None of the things that happened between your father and me or him and you are your fault. It’s not your job to live up to his unrealistic expectations. Your job is to be a seventeen years old teenager, not having your arms bitten because your father wanted to prove a point. This is beyond unhealthy. You shouldn’t have to earn his love and respect. That’s a given.” - She lectured in a very stern tone and fierce expression.
I’m feeling so overwhelmed by all this. But more importantly, I can’t help but to feel relieved to be going away from him. Tears streamed down my face. I’m sobbing inside the car and mom blows me a kiss since she can’t stop steering the wheel.
Once we stop at the checkpoint to in fact leave the reservation, my mother hands me a tissue as she gets ready to leave our whole life behind. I can’t exactly say I’m gonna miss it.
She spent the next several hours driving the night away. I was worried she would be sleepy because it’s almost dawn, but she persevered. She refused to stop except for gas and bathroom breaks. I’m sure it was very exhausting for her. I offered to take over the wheels, but she wouldn’t allow me to drive at night with my learner’s permit.
Around 6 a.m. we finally reached a very large house inside the city. I was mesmerized by its imponent beauty. After we got out of the car, my mom and I collected our bags from the trunk and walked inside.
The entrance was majestically decorated with wolf theme ornaments. A lovely looking couple made by a tall, large man and a beautiful brunette woman welcomed us with a warm smile.
“Good morning and welcome to Ruckerford Falls. I’m Beta Ashmore and this is my mate Linda.” - The strong man said as we walked inside.
“Good morning, Beta. Thanks for having us on such short notice.” - Mom said, breathing out a tired sigh. Linda’s eyes fell to my arms and the bandages covering the bite bruises. She immediately felt bad for me.
“Welcome, Kuckunniwi. If there’s anything I can do to make your stay here more pleasant, please let me know.” - She smiled at me. In this instance, her mate also noticed the bandages and frowned.
“Call me Beck please. Thank you, ma’am.” - I smiled awkwardly.
“I understand you must be tired from the journey. Breakfast is about to be served soon. I can take you to your rooms and then you can come downstairs for a hot meal. How does that sound?” - She addressed us in a cordial tone.
“Sounds lovely, ma’am. Please lead the way.” - Mom replied, smiling politely.
We started walking towards the guest quarters as Beta Ashmore handed us a flier each.
“These are the house rules and the meal schedules. Please notice that the kitchen closes outside of these periods, so try not to be late.” - He warned us in a serious tone.
“I never had anyone cooking for me before, so you can bet we’re not going to be late, sir.” - Mom smiled at him.
I started reading the rules, but it’s pretty straight forward stuff. No company is allowed inside your room, but that’s to be expected. Except for your mate, of course.
Linda showed us our rooms where we deposited our bags, used the toilets and walked back towards the dining room to eat breakfast. I’m drowsy asleep, but at this point I’m hungry too. So it’s a good idea to eat first, then sleep.
“This is the dining area where you’ll take your meals. Please enjoy yourselves. If you have any questions, I’m available.” - Linda directed us to the place. She introduced us around to the other residents of the giant house and we greeted them all. Then, she and her mate left and we took our seats at the large table.
“Wow. Smells delicious. I’m surprised they let us live here.” - I told my mom in a low tone, still baffled by all this.
“Once I explained our situation, it was the humane thing to do. These rooms are all I can afford right now. But I’m actively looking for another job, don’t you worry about it.” - She said, filling her plate with pancakes.
“I’m not worried, mom. I just hope he doesn’t come after us.” - I said, troubled.
“You’re gonna be 18 soon, darling. He can’t boss you around forever. And I’m not gonna let anyone hurt my son, especially the person who should be protecting you.” - She affirmed, dead set.
I noticed people at the table widening their eyes at this conversation. Between that and the bandages around my arms, my story is getting pretty telling already. I gulped nervously as I filled my plate with bacon and eggs. I grabbed some waffles too because I’m hungry. There are three kinds of syrup and right now I’m in heaven.
After we stuffed ourselves with delicious food, we returned to our rooms to rest up. Mom told me I could sleep until noon if I wanted, which is the time for lunch to be served. Later at night, we’d go to her cousin’s house to meet her family.
The room I was staying in was not much different than the one I had back home. The decoration was minimal, as expected. But it was a nice room, furnished with a bed, a night stand with a lamp, a desk and a chair and the built-in wardrobe for my clothes. It was very functional but it served its purpose.
I emptied my bag and arranged my clothes nicely in the wardrobe. Then, I collapsed on the bed exhausted. I slept until my mother was banging on the door. The bed is actually very comfortable.
I hope this new town and pack prove to be a good decision for us. Goddess knows the situation with my father was getting unbearable. I can only pray and hope he doesn’t come after us when he wakes up to notice us missing.
Sorry not sorry, dad. You had plenty of chances to make things right. But now we’re already gone. And I have no desire to ever go back to the reservation. Except maybe to find my mate. I’m sure I must have been paired with someone from my tribe, though I have no idea who it could be. Anyway, that’s tomorrow’s problem.
Today I can finally sleep without worrying if I’m gonna survive the next day.
A|N: Finally! No more reservation. A new adventure awaits our Beck.
OFF: I love Kelly Clarkson, if I could all her songs would be in my books.
Love,
Léo.
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