“This town is too small,” I grumbled, walking through Livingston with Thélio, his attention never staying in one place for long, “well it’s bigger than Melba.”

“Is that where you live?”

“Yep. Melba, Idaho. Population 783. My family makes up at least… 20 of that? There’s a lot of us.”

“Tell me more? I am curious.”

“Well let’s see. I have my parents, Thomas and Sparrow. Then their parents Shiloh, Kai, Killian, and Theodore. My aunts Violet, and Kennedy when they are in America, Uncle Conor and Aunt Juniper. Aunt Orion and Uncle Dexter. Uncles Alder and Oakley. They both have white hair too. Um… oh my Titi Yves and Titi River. They’re both non binary like me. Cousins Delilah, Charlotte, and Elijah. Uncle Callum and Auntie Hannah. My uncles Jace and Gabriel lived in Melba with my aunt Cecilia and aunt Joelle but they… well they were already in their 70s when I was born. They’re all buried in their family cemetery back in Indiana. Auntie Cecilia lives with my grandparents Theo and Killian. That’s Thomas’ parents. So yeah. There’s a lot of us. All started by my great grandparents Lucas, Adrian, Thatcher, and Joanna. Or even further back, Thaddeus and Kamilla. I know Kai’s mom was named Valentina. That’s about it. Then my friends.”

“Wow. So many names! I could never keep it straight,” he laughed, running a hand through his hair.

“Not that I want to be presumptuous but, Sparrow, Thomas, Phoenix, Cove, Stevie, and Roe are the main names to remember.”

“You never mentioned anyone named Cove, Stevie, or Roe?”

“Oh!” I laughed, opening the door to the grocery store, “Cove Palakiko. Phoenix’s fiance. Stevie and Roe are my best friends too. They have a kid. His name is Maddox.”

“Going back to Cove for a second, I have never heard a last name like that!” Thélio smiled, grabbing a shopping cart.

“He’s from Hawaii. His father Andrew moved him and his uh… Cove’s twin brother to Melba when they were four. We grew up together. The best of friends.”

“Hesitation?”

“It’s a lot to go into and I don’t like to talk about it,” I shrugged, grabbing chips I wanted, “not so soon into a friendship.”

“Fair enough,” he nodded, reaching around me to grab a box of crackers, the smell of eucalyptus coming from him that I hadn’t noticed before as we had never been close enough, “I will not push you to share. May I ask something?”

He smells wonderful.

Must be his soap.

“Yes.”

“Is it a person named Ocean? I saw it in your book.”

“I… yes,” I nodded, “Cove’s twin.”

“That is all I needed to know,” he poked the tip of my nose, making me giggle involuntarily, “I am smart enough to put two and two together but I will never ask for details. It is not my business. While I am big on communication in any form of friendship or relationship, I am also empathetic enough to know that certain things are hard to speak about. I have plenty of my own. Rather than be sad, let’s go find something sweet and head back to the house. My social battery is dying.”

“I’ll make sure to give you plenty of space then. Trust me. I understand better than most.”

“Oh! No, Hyacinth you are not draining me. It is the… way people are looking at us. I am used to it, people always stare but it begins to drain my spirit after a while.”

“Me as well. We certainly make for a unique looking pair after all.”

“Hm,” he tapped his chin for a moment before snapping, his eyes lighting up with excitement, “idea! We will be around many people the next few days. I would like to help you manage your social anxiety if you will help me when I start to get overwhelmed with interaction. Hourly check-ins. Simple ones. I will tell you a number out of ten to signify where I am at. You do the same. Once one of us hits a four, we excuse ourselves to somewhere quiet to recharge. The other can act as a blocker. Simply make up an excuse for the other.”

“I love that idea but I’m a horrific liar and might embarrass you.”

“It will be okay,” he smiled, tossing grapefruit juice into the cart, “I am as well. So we can embarrass each other.”

“How about we do our best to avoid that and simply tell people the other needed a moment away? Honesty is always best.”

“Perfect. It is nice to have someone who understands me.”

“I absolutely agree.”

We finished shopping and headed back to the rental, our arms entirely filled with bags as we laughed, watching two squirrels chase each other up a tree.

After unpacking the groceries Thélio and I went our separate ways to get our rooms ready. It turned out, we were both heavily generous, trying to force the other to take the room with the hot tub before Thélio ran into the smaller of the two big rooms and closed the door, leaving me with the one we had been arguing over.

Goddammit.

He deserves it.

“Lio!” I knocked on the door, “Lio, take the bigger room!”

“No! We already settled this. You will take the bigger one. I have no need for all that space,” he yelled back, his voice muffled, “unpack and get comfortable!”

“You’re difficult!”

“I am aware of this, yes,” he laughed and I smiled despite the fact I was yelling at him over something stupid.

“Fine!” I stomped into the bigger room and slowly changed into my favorite comfortable outfit that I always packed when I traveled, a pair of small gray shorts, a white crop T-shirt and a gray robe that came to my knees, the sleeves long. After braiding my hair and throwing my slippers on I headed to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of wine from the fridge and opening it, letting it sit on the counter for a while.

“Have you showered? They are amazing!” Thélio laughed from behind me and I turned to look at him, “oh…”

“Hm?” I tilted my head, watching as he fixed the deep plum muscle tank top he was wearing, his eyes never leaving me, “is everything okay?”

“Yes. It is wonderful,” he nodded, coming closer to me, “I was distracted by my thoughts, I apologize. What would you like for dinner?”

“What goes well with white wine?” I laughed, trying to pretend I wasn’t staring at the massive mandela tattoo that ran from what I assumed to be his armpit all the way to his hip.

“Lets see,” Thélio pulled his hair into a knot and I noticed another tattoo on his nape, this one a beautiful black butterfly with a diamond surrounding it.

I want to touch it.

It’s gorgeous.

“I am a bit limited in what I can make here. We do not have a lot of meal based groceries. But! I could make curry with butternut squash. Would you like that?” He smiled at me over his shoulder and my face grew warm for a reason I couldn’t quite understand.

“Yes. That sounds fantastic,” clearing my throat, I reached up and grabbed a wine glass from the cabinet, poured myself a glass and took a long drink before pouring more, “would you like some?”

“I have never tried white wine. May I just have a sip of yours? Unless you are not comfortable with sharing germs, I would understand.”

“I don’t mind,” I whispered, holding the glass out and Thélio came over, taking it from me, his fingers slowly running along the back of my hand and he continued to hold eye contact as he took a small sip before licking his lips and handing the glass to me.

“Delicious. Yes. I would love some,” he whispered back, taking a small step closer, “your hair is coming loose.”

“Is it?” I reached up to take it down and Thélio slowly turned me, pulling my braid out to fix it.

He has such a gentle touch.

That feels incredible.

What is wrong with me?

I barely know him!

I grabbed the lip of the counter and gently squeezed, my eye closing slowly and I fought down a whimper when his fingers passed across the nape of my neck.

“I am done,” Thélio slowly rubbed the back of my arm, “may I ask something?”

“Of course,” I nodded, fixing my eyepatch as I had removed it temporarily to fix my hair.

“It is hot in here, yes? I do not wish to be invasive but why in the world are you wearing sleeves? Are you not sweating?”

“I…” I turned slowly, not realizing how close he was standing, our noses nearly brushing each other and I slowly leaned away to get a better look at his face, “I’ve spent so many years wearing sleeves regardless of the weather that it doesn’t really bother me anymore. It also makes me feel more comfortable.”

“Of course. I was just concerned. I would be sad if you got sick,” he shrugged.

“My outfit for tomorrow also has long sleeves but these are lace.”

“I am sure it is beautiful. I cannot wait to see. I am wearing a simple suit,” Thélio gently touched my chest before walking over to the fridge and beginning to grab ingredients, “it is so quiet here. Probably because the house is massive.”

“I’ll start music on the tv hang on,” I took the opportunity to rush out of the kitchen, my heart racing as I grabbed the remote.

Why am I feeling like this?

I’ve spent plenty of time around people I’m attracted to.

But never this easily.

I finally managed to get the music to play and slowly danced to it as I made my way back to the kitchen, Thélio watching me and smiling as he cut up vegetables.

“What’s so funny?” I laughed, grabbing my glass of wine.

“Nothing. I am simply not used to spending time with someone. It is nice to see you enjoying yourself.”

“It’s rare I'm comfortable around people,” shrugging, I came to stand next to him, “your wine will get warm.”

“My hands are dirty. I cannot drink it right now. It is not the end of the world if I have to get more.”

“Just don’t get drunk,” I laughed, “we have a wedding to photograph tomorrow.”

“I do not drink to get drunk. It is not fun for me. A bit tipsy? Yes. But I have seen what alcohol can do to people and it scares me.”

“I can’t say I’ve seen it but I don’t like getting drunk either. More because I’ve spent the last few years getting my stupid brother out of trouble when he drinks. We used to go to a bar in Melba every Saturday and he always runs his mouth. It’s annoying so I stopped going with him.”

“Ah that does not sound fun,” Thélio nodded, “try this,” he held a piece of carrot out to me and I tilted my head, “I put seasoning on it, I want to know if you like it.”

“Oh!” I started to grab it and he shook his head.

“Open,” he whispered and I slowly opened my mouth, letting Thélio feed me, his thumb slowly running across my lip before his entire face went red and he looked away, “do you like it?”

Touch me more.

That’s what I like.

“Yes. It’s delicious.”

“Good. You have a promise to keep.”

“Huh?” Confusion filled me and he nodded at my phone sitting on the counter.

“You promised your Pai you would take photos for him. He will worry if you do not.”

“Ah right. Thank you, Lio.”

“Of course.”

I spent the next twenty minutes exploring the house, taking various photos and sending them to Sparrow. I ended up back in the kitchen as Thélio cooked, singing softly to the music that was still playing. Slowly, so as to not get caught, I took a photo of Thélio as best I could.

“Your composition will be terrible if you are sneaking,” Thélio called softly and I hung my head in shame, “come here,” he snorted, looking at me over his shoulder and I made my way over, embarrassed, “I do not mind you taking photos of me. But make sure I look nice.”

“But how?”

“Here,” he wiped his hands on a towel and took my phone before moving behind me, “take it with me.”

“I uh… don’t take many pictures of myself. I don’t like people seeing me much.”

“Me either but it is for Sparrow. So,” he held the phone up, his free hand resting gently on my lower back, “chin up a little. Smile as naturally as you can. Remember that you… are beautiful and there’s no need to feel anxious about your appearance. Our uniqueness is what makes us beautiful as people. Smile, Hyacinth,” he whispered my name in my ear and I smiled, the light sound of his voice making my heart race, “wonderful. See,” he went to the gallery and showed me the photo.

“Wait. That’s not me…”

“But it is. When you are calm and happy. I told you,” he wrapped his arms around me from behind, taking both of my hands and setting my phone in one before placing my other over it, his hands cradling mine, “beautiful.”

“Lio?” I whispered, pressing back toward him and he returned the sentiment, his chest flush with my back.

“I apologize. I realized I am being overly physical with you. We do not know each other well. It is not respectful of me,” he moved away, his hands sliding along my arms, “I am not normally this forward. I hope you can forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” I spun around and pushed a loose wave behind his ear, “I’m not upset about it. Just very confused. Touch usually panics me. Not that I have any… I have one reason but it’s not that serious. I don’t usually enjoy people being close to me. But uh… I don’t mind you. I’m not really sure why. And don’t say it’s because you’re relaxing because that’s not it.”

Thélio stared at me before he burst out laughing, his smile wide and causing his nose to crinkle just a bit, “I am sorry I am not laughing at you. It is cute, that is all. I am the same,” he carefully took my hand, tracing the lines of my palm, “oh…”

“Hm?” I tilted my head before looking down and realized that my sleeve had rolled back, my self harm scars clearly visible and I pulled back quickly, pushing my sleeve down as fast as I could, “don’t uh… don’t look at those.”

“Hyacinth,” he whispered and I shook my head, “okay. Tell me one thing.”

“I might.”

“Are you healing?”

“Yes. Very much so.”

“I am glad. Do not share with me unless you wish and only when you are ready. Do not rush it. I am patient. I was simply worried when I saw. I am sorry. I can respect it not being easy for you to show. I hope you do not feel as though I invaded your privacy. It was an accident.”

I blinked a few times before gently squeezing his hand, trying to express my gratitude, “no. I don’t feel that you invaded my privacy. I know it was an accident. One I caused. So don’t feel bad. There’s no need.”

“Okay,” he smiled, his expression gentle and full of empathy, “I should finish dinner. We got distracted.”

“Ah of course! I’ll be here,” I hopped up onto the counter, “sending photos to Sparrow.”

“You do not need to stay here with me.”

“I know. But I want to.”

“Obrigado,” Thélio laughed softly, rubbing my thigh with his thumb before going to wash his hands and finish cooking dinner for us.

I understand now.

I’m incredibly attracted to you.

But we live very different lives.

So I’ll keep that to myself and simply enjoy the next few days.

Enjoy spending time with someone so lovely.

Someone out of reach.