I Shall Rewrite the Stars

Chapter 10

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The voice follows me into a strange place, where I am not quite awake, but not quite asleep either. Some small part of me recognizes that I have heard the voice of a spirit. An angry, spiteful spirit. Not that I can do anything about it. The darkness I drift in is fathomless, and I’ve no strength with which I might use to rise back out of.

Though every so often, I do try to feel myself breathe. When the cold rushes in and I feel myself beginning to sink, I recall Juba’s command and try to gasp in some air. Unfortunately, If I am successful, I cannot feel it. My only sign that I do in fact continue to live, is that I have yet to find myself at the foot of the Feather of Truth. My soul has not been weighed, and I have not yet been condemned by the great spirits, to an eternity in the underworld.

“Why do you care so much if she lives or dies?” Helios asks suddenly, as the darkness becomes sweltering. “You’re strangers, as you’ve pointed out over and over, so why exert so much effort to heal her?”

“When she speaks to me as if we share a lifetime’s worth of memories, I forget for a while that we actually don’t,” Juba replies. “Is it wrong of me to wish for a friendship in this life, that she seems to have cherished so deeply in her first one?”

“I understand wishing to fulfil the obligations of loyalty to a friend, but you haven’t left her side since she passed out. Not to eat. Not to sleep. It’s all a bit excessive for a budding friendship.”

Juba is quiet a moment. “Selene has not once hesitated to take my hand, in the face of danger. I feel indebted to her.”

“What happens once you stop feeling that way?” Helios asks. “Don’t let Selene believe you want to stay, want to become the friend she saw in her visions, just to end up walking out on her. We’ve already lost too much, and she doesn’t deserve another heartache.”

Juba tsks. “Where exactly could I go? Until Gustavian retrieves my body, he’ll assume that I’m alive, and so he will hunt for me. Honestly speaking, it’s safer for you all if I vanish in the night.”

“And staying with us is safer for you.”

“You shouldn’t mistake me for a selfless person, nor one that would be better off at your sister’s side. If it comes down to it, I will do what I must to survive.”

“Selene doesn’t seem to view you that way.”

“She sees a me whom I’ve never been. I might become him, but for now, I’m not. We’ve spoken on the matter.”

“It sounds like you’ve already come to terms with the fact that you’re going to end up hurting her,” Helios grumbles, his voice beginning to fade. “You know, if you were fated to change into a better man, maybe give it a shot now, before…”

Plunged back into the darkness, I revel in its shifted return to the numbing cold. Rocked as if by the gentle waves of the Medi, I sink deeper and deeper and…

‘Selene,’ the spirit of the moon whispers.

‘Selene,’ the spirit of the sea weeps. ‘Selene, come to me—come to the waters. Let us help you!’

‘Find the water that is caressed by my light. There, we shall heal you.’

“The water,” I breathe, flexing my fingers toward the voices. “The water…”

“Selene?” Juba asks. Leaning over me, his face shadowed by the night, Juba sets his palm against my forehead. “Are you thirsty? I can fetch some water for you.”

“I…I need the water,” I whisper, groaning against the heaviness in my body. “Water reflecting the moons light. It will help me.”

“Light cast from such a small sliver of moon?” Juba shakes his head, shifting his arms under my back and knees, and cradles me close as he stands.

I set my ear atop his heart, comforted by the steady beating. It is always nice to be close to Juba, but the sound of his heart is special. In my visions, I longed to hear it just one more time before I faded away. Such was my final wish! One that was sadly left unfulfilled…

“Are you still awake, Selene?” Juba asks. “The bamboo blocks out most of the sky. I’m not sure if there’s a place where the moonlight can reach this stream.”

“I am grateful that you’ve tried to find one,” I say. “You are so kind, Juba. You will always be so, so kind.”

“I’m not,” he argues, though his tone remains soft. “You’ve helped me, and so I am helping you. That’s not kindness. It’s an honorable exchange.”

“In my visions, you distanced yourself from everyone for a very, very long time. You told me it was to protect us from Gustavian and Octavia, for if you were close to none, then they could not use those people to hurt you.”

“I protected myself,” Juba says, but I shake my head.

“You protected all who might befriend you, by sacrificing yourself to loneliness.”

“Why bother telling me this? You’ve seen the shackles on my wrists—you know that I’m nothing more than a worthless slave. I will live and die under Gustavian’s thumb—I will never be free! And if he ever commands me to turn on you, to hurt you, then I-”

“Look,” I say, forcing my arm to lift, my hand to squeeze. “Focus, Juba. Do you see it?”

The glow of the marionette bar lights up my hand. I see it clearly, though Juba’s squinted eyes seem confused.

“What…is that?” he asks.

“It is where I keep hold of the strings of fate. I, a mere mortal, wield the ability to rewrite the stars. And I will do so, not just for myself, but for you too.”

“You’ve a difficult enough task in worrying about yourself. Why bother caring about me?”

“It’s because I want us to be friends, just as we were meant to be,” I say. “Not slaves suffering under cruel masters. Not pawns in wicked men’s games. I wish for us to be two people who have, freely and by our own will, chosen to share in each other’s lives.”

Juba heaves a sigh, and crouches to one knee. Balancing me atop it, he holds my steady with one arm, and gently lowers my feet into a cool, flowing stream with the other.

I gasp, surprised at how quickly a rush of calm floods through me. The pain subsides almost immediately, dulling to an ache and then a throb, before it fades into a discomfort similar to that of an old bruise.

“The swelling’s gone—the redness is gone,” Juba marvels. “It’s as if you were never stung at all.”

“It feels as if I weren’t,” I say. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Juba watches me a long while, his lips drawn in a frown. When he finally speaks, my heart squeezes. “Tell me honestly: did you know I was lying to you, when I said that I wanted us to be friends?”

“It seemed far too soon for you to be open to the idea. Though I admit, a part of me had hoped you might be a bit more willing to give it a try, in this life.”

“Friendship with me will only put you in greater danger.”

“So long as Gustavian breathes, we will all be in an equal amount of danger. It makes no difference if you are by my side or not.”

“If you are rid of me, I cannot be used to hurt you.”

“You will only hurt me if you decide to-”

“I will have no choice!” Juba shouts. “Never, in all my life, have I had a choice anything! Don’t you understand that? Choices are for free men, not slaves.”

“You are so much more than a slave.” As Juba throws his head to the side, I cup his cheeks, forcing him to look at me. “You chose not to cry out to the invaders as we fled from Kemet. You chose not to row us toward their ships. You chose not to ask the men who attacked us at the port, if they worked under Gustavian. Over and over you have had the chance to act as a mere, submissive slave, and you have chosen not to!”

Juba grits his teeth, his eyes falling shut with such a look of pain. I recall this very face from my visions. It brings a sad smile to my lips.

“You have suffered so much,” I say, softer. “Fate has been cruel till now. That is why I have resolved to change it. With every choice we make for ourselves, we write a different future—a better one. A future where we stand a real chance at being happy again. And even if…” I swallow hard. “Even if you should seek happiness someday, far, far away from me, the choice will be yours. Aren’t such choices worth fighting for?”

“Did we fight for such a future, in your visions?”

I shake my head. “We did not.”

“And did we survive?”

“I…I did not…and I’ve no idea how long you were meant to outlive me.”

Releasing his breath, Juba offers a sad smile of his own. “Is that the bottom line, Selene? You will take whatever chances you can in this life, because you know for certain that there is no hope, if you don’t?”

“Acceptance did nothing to save my family, my kingdom, or my life. I do not know how far fighting back might take me, but if there is even a small chance of finding peace and happiness again, then I must chase it. I have to.”

“And one principessa against the might of Roma, will surely lead to failure.” Tugging his face free, Juba pinches my cheek, a bit of light returned to his dark eyes. “I’ve spent so long surrounded by liars, that your honesty strikes me like a blow to the chest. However foolish a trait, I really do admire it in you.”

“This is how you admire someone?” I pout, batting at his hand. “Let go!”

Juba laughs. “This is what you get for being too optimistic. Keep in mind, there are few who will dare retain a grudge despite having accepted their lot in life. If I were not so cursedly stubborn, I might have pretended to accept your offer of friendship, only to betray you in the end.”

“I…I already know you are not the type to do such a thing.” Tugging hard, I pull his fingers away. “And I know better than to freely trust a stranger, Juba. I am not as naïve as you fear.”

He hums, twisting his hand to brush his fingers along my cheek. “Be that as it may, you’ve a cursedly soft heart, Selene. I can’t help but fear for you, because of it.”

“How sweet of you,” a soft voice coos, drawing our eyes back to find Raja standing in the shadows. Arms crossed, she repeats in brief all we have said since arriving at the stream. When Juba whispers a curse, she smiles. “Is there anything else I should know—and I assure you, I will know everything eventually.”

“You could give Octavia’s spies a run for their money,” Juba mutters.

“For one who is so cheerful at times, you can be equally as fierce and serious,” I say. “Which version is the real you, Raja?”

“Both,” she replies. “As the only surviving child of His Majesty, I have known little peace in life—especially since birthing the empire’s heir. In the relative freedom beyond the palace walls, I am content to enjoy myself to the fullest! But my cheerful demeanor should never be confused for simplemindedness. You would be wise to keep that in mind.”

“Lower your voice, and you would do well in Roma,” Juba says.

“Women in Roma are not allowed to shout?”

“Many have lost their tongues for it.”

Raja hisses, her eyes flashing with rage. “As if I was lacking in reasons to despise that empire. You have just added to my list.”

“Tell me something,” I ask. “Why have you been so forthcoming with us, Raja? From confiding your son’s illness to us, to revealing yourself just now, you have gifted us knowledge that could damn you and your empire. Why do that?”

“Because you are blessed,” Raja says. “My family have always been keepers of the history passed down from the great spirits. The mark on your forehead is proof that you are no normal person, and the timing with which we met, was too perfect.”

“You think it was fate?” Juba asks.

“I left home in search of a miracle, and found the lot of you. Be it fate or a random stroke of luck, I do not care. So long as placing faith in you pays off, I will bear the weight of the risk I have taken.”

“If Gustavian comes for us, and finds us in your midst, he will see it as an invitation to attack Indrira.”

Raja looks to the sky, a shadow crossing her eyes. “You said that Gustavian plots to attack us, regardless. In the event that my son succumbs, and His Majesty falls in battle, I will be left no different from the two of you. A spoil of war…and ultimately, a slave to Roma.”

In my visions, Juba and I were preparing for our departure to Romeil when word came that Roma had finally conquered Indrira. I never met Raja afterwards, but I can imagine what her fate became.

“Roma must be stopped,” I say. “My elder brother will raise an army to fight for Kemet, but I fear a far greater war must wage before any of us may know peace again.”

“You imagine a global effort to defeat Gustavian?” Juba asks. “How ever much he is despised, the world knows to fear the empire blessed by the sun. Few will be foolish enough to even imagine-”

“As soon as my son is cured, and we know for sure that Romasian poison was his ailment, His Majesty will cut relations with Roma,” Raja says. “If you stand with us, you find an unwavering ally. Though to run off and hide may be a safer, more promising option.”

“Do you intend to run and hide?” I ask, looking to Juba.

“I will be found no matter where I go,” he replies.

“And my brothers will never settle for cowering while the fight for revenge—for freedom from Roma’s terror, shakes the world. I cannot abandon them.”

“Would you really risk your life just for freedom?” Raja asks. “Don’t you have any ambition, Selene? When the time comes, if we win so great a war, then the throne of Roma will come up for grabs.”

“You imagine that Cearion and your father will not choose to split the spoils of Roma?” Juba asks.

“I imagine it is too big an empire to be ruled by foreign maharajas. Someone will need to be installed as a permanent ruler—one who can actively oversee the governing of the empires new order.”

“Could it not be you?” I ask.

Raja heaves a sigh. “If women could rule, according to Indriran beliefs, then I would not have been wedded off at fourteen. Nor forced to birth a child into such an unstable time as this.”

In the heavy silence that follows, Juba helps me to my feet. I offer him a smile, but it fades beneath his distant gaze.

I cannot guess at what Juba is thinking of right now. And as for myself, I’ve no desire to be an empress. But Juba…

When I look at him again, I see all that he became in my visions. A wise man who valued knowledge. A kind man who risked his life to help others. A brave man who fought back until Gustavian crushed his spirit and scattered the remains.

How ever little he is now, when I look at Juba, I see a man worthy to be hailed as an emperor.

“I have no ambition,” I admit. “But if war does come to pass, and we somehow manage to win, then I will throw all my support behind the man I believe can usher in an era of peace—a peace the likes of which the world has never known!”

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