Mikhail scrambled to his feet just as the black van pulled away. He tried to chase down Manager Wei, yelling “take me with you!”, but was cruelly left in the dust. With no other choice, he followed in Shen Dan’s footsteps.  

The system chimed in: 

【UPDATING HOST (uh, Mikhail Li)’S PERSONAL INFORMATION

OCCUPATION: PERSONAL ASSISTANT】

Mikhail thought to himself, So I’m his personal assistant, that’s all well and good. But why am I showing up to his house? Does being the personal assistant to a famous actor mean I’m going to cook and clean and help him to wipe his own ass? 

【PLUGIN (Low-paying Entry-level Contract Job_Nanny 2.0.12) CAN BE ACQUIRED FOR: 6KP - BZZT! - INSUFFICIENT FUNDS】

“Never mind, forget I asked!”

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The overly-long stone driveway led up to a sleek, single-floor, modern-style house. Mikhail, who had lived out of hilltop mansions for most of his life, immediately found it a bit small. There were no fountains, statues of angels, or multi-tiered swimming pools in sight. In fact, there wasn’t even a garage.

Realizing something, Mikhail gasped in disbelief. Shen Dan doesn’t drive? How sad! Driving is a wonderful, wonderful thing!

If only his totaled Verarri Convertible could hear this thought, it would have slapped him.

Mikhail hiked up the overly-long stone driveway, predictably getting winded in the process. Shen Dan was nowhere to be found, but the front door had been left wide open. Mikhail removed his priceless neon yellow basketball shoes and went inside. 

All around, the familiar scent of Shen Dan’s cologne tugged at his memory. 

“Tugged at my memory?” I met him only a few hours ago today, what memories are there to tug at, you tell me! System, you had better not be dicking around with my brain or else when I’m deleted from the environment, I’m taking you with me! 

【YOUR EXPERIENCE IS IMPORTANT TO US - TO FILL OUT A ONE-MINUTE SURVEY—】

Shaddup!!!

While Mikhail was busy mentally dissing the System, he also took note of Shen Dan’s home decor. 

The inside of the house looked extremely staged. Most egregiously, on a coffee table in the living room, five beekeeping textbooks had been stacked in a perfect tower beside a few rattan orbs in a wooden bowl. There wasn’t a single speck of dust to be found on any surface. 

To be honest, the whole aesthetic screamed “serial killer.”

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In the dining room, Shen Dan was sitting at the head of a table. He had changed out of his adorable sweater and was now wearing a severe, black button-up shirt. The sleeves were rolled up part of the way, showing off a pair of strong forearms that put Mikhail’s spaghetti-stick-physique to shame.

Shen Dan’s eyes were closed. His fingers were tented before his face, as if he were deep in thought. Without his glasses, which were now sitting folded on the table, the last of his approachableness had evaporated.

Although Mikhail had done his best to tiptoe into the room, his spatial awareness was lacking. He accidentally bumped one of the dining table’s chairs producing a loud “eeep.”

Shen Dan’s eyes snapped open, nailing Mikhail to the floorboards.

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S-S-System, you know how to dial 110 right… 

【WE’RE SORRY, THIS SERVICE IS CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE - IN ORDER TO PROCESS YOUR REQUEST, PLEASE PURCHASE A DATA PLAN FOR: 35KP - BZZT! - INSUFFICIENT FUNDS】 

Being stared at so intensely by Shen Dan, Mikhail’s teeth began to chatter. 

Only, why did he get the feeling like that person’s expression was… a bit uncertain? 

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That uncertainty lasted only a split second. Shen Dan lifted a hand and pointed to the chair opposite him. He smiled smoothly.

“Take a seat. I have some papers here with my daily routines, which you can read through. I wake up at 6:15AM and sleep at 11:15PM, so please adjust your own waking and sleeping hours accordingly. As I no longer have a housekeeper, cleaning and cooking will fall to you. Manager Wei will return to drop off your things in an hour. In the meantime, I’ll show you to your room.” Saying so, Shen Dan leisurely took out the contents from the chocolatier bag and set them on the table. “Care for a chocolate?”

My… room?

Mikhail’s brain cells all short-circuited simultaneously, resulting in his face taking on the expression of a surprised Bikachu.  

Shen Dan sighed, but his smile didn’t waver. 

Dropping a piece of chocolate onto his tongue, he continued, “Don’t be shy. Since you’re my personal assistant and we’ll be living together, it’s best to get to know one another, hm?”

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Dying prematurely: [ ✓ ]

Stealing technology from a guardian angel: [ ✓ ]

Forming a supernatural contract with a third-rate actor scum: [ ✓ ]

Becoming said third-rate actor scum’s little servant and moving in with him: [    ]

Invisibly in his heart, Mikhail gravely checked off this last box. 

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

The house was indeed small. There were only two bedrooms. The one at the end of the hall was Shen Dan’s, and the one on the left was unoccupied. 

Manager Wei returned an hour later with one small duffel bag and handed it off to Mikhail, not failing to shoot him a suspicious look.

“Don’t I own more clothes than this?” Mikhail asked, shooting Manager Wei a suspicious look right back. He weighed the duffle bag. There could hardly be more than a few pants, shirts, and underwear in there. “Maybe you forgot to check my other closets. There should be four in total, one for shoes, one for suits, and the other two for casual wear. Why don’t I go back with you—”

Manager Wei sharpened his suspicious look into a full-blown stink-eye. “Mr. Li, that address you gave me… no one lives there. When I arrived, there was just an empty lot with this bag sitting in the middle. Are you making fun of me, pretending to be a ghost or something?”

Mikhail felt his sanity crack down the middle.

What the hell! Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean my whole apartment should disappear into thin air! That’s definitely not how dying works!!! 

“Ha-ha-ha, yeah, it’s a joke. I’m alive, definitely, definitely,” Mikhail smiled, patting Manager Wei on the cheek and forcibly escorting the man out of the house before he got the idea to check the newspaper’s obituary section.

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

Staring mournfully at the three t-shirts, two sweatpants, and five pairs of underwear he’d pulled out of the duffle bag, Mikhail let out a moan. There was no denying it. He had kicked the bucket for real. If he wanted his life and clothes back, he would need to get a bingo. To do that, he needed Shen Dan’s cooperation.

And if he needed Shen Dan’s cooperation, then living with the man would make things that much easier. 

Come to think of it, Mikhail thought he ought to come clean about his circumstances. He could bust out the halo and 2D wings from his inventory to prove the direness of his situation. Furthermore, if he remembered correctly, Shen Dan had around four-thousand KP in the blank. Didn’t this mean the man—third-rate actor scum or not—was a benevolent person who would surely take pity on him?

Mikhail searched the house for Shen Dan. He opened his mouth to say something, only for an alarm to go off in his head.

【WARNING! WARNING! CONTINUING COURSE OF ACTION WILL RESULT IN BREAKING TERMS AND AGREEMENTS - HOST (uh, Mikhail Li) WILL BE FORCIBLY DELETED FROM ENVIRONMENT IMMEDIATELY】

Wait, so I can’t tell him about the Guardian Angel System or bingo?! This is unfair! System, transfer me to your manager, I want to lodge a complaint—

“—something to drink?”

Hearing Shen Dan speak, Mikhail snapped back to reality. Shen Dan was no longer sitting at the dining room table, but was in the kitchen pouring himself a glass of water. He looked over his shoulder at Mikhail, eyebrows quirked expectantly. 

Mikhail’s ears were still ringing from the System’s warning alarm. “Er… um… did you say something…?”

“I said, would you like something to drink?”

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In Mikhail’s head, the brain cells that had all short-circuited shortly ago sprang back to life, sprouting like vibrant flowers in early spring. Mikhail felt tears of excitement welling up in his eyes. Dizzy with anticipation he said, “Hot cocoa, please.”

Shen Dan frowned, but didn’t say anything. He made the drink expediently and then handed it over to Mikhail.

Mikhail took a tiny sip. “It tastes a bit…”

“What? It tastes bad?”

Mikhail covered his mouth with a hand. “It’s not that… it’s just…”

“Is it bad or not? Speak up.”

Mikhail bit his lip. “Well, you see—”

Shen Dan snatched the mug away from Mikhail and tasted it himself. The hot cocoa had been made from a small packet. He had added 2% milk that had been warmed in the microwave and had stirred appropriately. Without a doubt, he had followed the instructions to a T. 

Shen Dan said flatly, “It tastes fine.”

He turned to Mikhail, but his new personal assistant was too busy peering into the pocket of his jacket to hear him. His smile was wide enough to feature on a toothpaste commercial, and he even hee-hee'd softly.

Shen Dan: “…”

Of course, Shen Dan couldn’t have guessed what Mikhail was giggling about like a little schoolgirl. 

That reason being: On the bingo sheet in Mikhail’s pocket, the square for “drink hot cocoa” had magically crossed itself off.