I could have sworn that Lili was oblivious to my little crush on her. Now, I’m so sure. Her gaze tracks my movements, and her eyes slide down to my lips, lingering there for a second too long. If she wants to get fucked, I’d be more than happy to give her what she needs.

Her previous, shaky question still hangs in the air between us. What do you have in mind?

“I’m not sure I should tell you,” I admit.

She shifts, turning toward me on the couch. “I think you should.” Her tone is pointed, more confident now.

“If I do… how can I be sure you’re not going to run out of here and tattle on me to your brother?”

“Because I won’t,” she confirms, leaning closer.

She stares back at me with red splotches on her cheeks. And her hot, hurried breaths tell me how deeply this conversation has shaken her.

Interesting.

But she’s not the only one affected, I feel hot all over and dangerously close to dragging her back to my bedroom.

“What are you proposing?” she asks, gathering her courage.

My pulse climbs. I feel slightly out of control. I’ve never let myself get anywhere close to going here with her but tonight all bets are off. I’m breaking all my rules. The words escape my mouth before I can stop myself.

“Let me eat your pussy, and if I make you come, I get to fuck you however I want.”

She doesn't answer right away, but I can see her weighing my words. Knowing she's actually considering my offer makes my lungs tight. I feel like I've sprinted across the ice, my veins on fire. 

The tense moment drags on between us, and I move closer.

When I lean in to kiss her, she doesn’t push me away. Our mouths meet and Lili kisses me back—her plump lips parting until I can taste her tongue. There’s always been a crackle of interest between us, but I never imagined myself actually going there with her. She groans softly into my mouth. Her movements are effortless and we fit together like we’ve done this a hundred times before. It’s…baffling.

She’s perfect—kissing me back with slow strokes of her tongue against mine. If the girl can kiss this well, I can only imagine how good she is at sucking cock. Not that I’ll find out. I made a deal, and intend to deliver.

I bring one hand to the back of her neck, under the curtain of her dark hair and tilt her mouth to mine. She’s so hot, so responsive. It seems we’re both overcome with desire, practically trembling with need.

After a few minutes, I’m hard all over and practically vibrating with need. I break our kiss to sink down to my knees on the floor. Lifting her knee, I uncross her legs and then reach under her dress to find the edges of her panties. Part of me wonders if she’ll stop me—we’re playing a dangerous game of chicken. I tug and Lili lifts her hips, letting me pull them off.

Part of me can’t believe we’re doing this—the other part of me wonders why we haven’t done this before now. I’ve always wanted her, and I’ve seen the way she looks at me too. Her gaze lingering too long when she thinks I’m not looking.

I close my hand around one slim ankle and plant her foot on the sofa, urging her to scoot forward. Then I ease her dress up over her hips. Damn. The sight of her bare is perfection. Soft pussy lips conceal her pink clit and a tight as fuck opening I’m practically shaking with desire to get inside of. I run one calloused finger along her pussy and Lili exhales.

She’s warm and responsive under my touch and so fucking hot I could die of happiness on the spot.

When I lean forward and press a chaste kiss to the inside of her thigh, she trembles. When I bring my mouth to her core, she makes an incoherent sound. And when I lick her clit, she moans.  

I get busy, enjoying one of my favorite things. She tastes incredible, and I love that it’s me making her feel this good. I suck and nibble and lick her, paying attention to what she likes. Apparently she likes it all. Her hands are in my hair and she rocks her hips against my face. I open my eyes and am surprised to find she’s watching me.

“You like watching me?” I murmur, pressing a kiss to her core. “Watching your brother’s friend eat your pussy?”

Lili groans.

I’m methodical in everything I do. Hockey is a react first, think later kind of sport. Maybe that’s why I’m calm and practical in my everyday life. It’s a chance to exercise the rational part of my brain. On the ice I’m constantly taking hard hits, slamming my competitors into the boards, firing off wrist shots without time to weigh the consequences. In my real life, everything is different. I’ve gotten as far as I because of my plan-everything-to-death approach. But with Lili, I have no restraint. No game plan. I don’t think. I just do. And nothing about my roommate’s sister riding my face is practical. This girls gonna be the death of me.

I grip her hips in both hands, and pull her close, devouring her, sucking on her clit as my dick leaks precum in my jeans. Lili gets louder and I don’t let up—not even as she starts to come, shuddering and moaning. It’s hot as hell watching her come apart for me.

With one last soft kiss to her spasming pussy, I rise to my knees and grab the condom from my pocket.

“A deal’s a deal. You ready to get fucked?”

She sits up and reaches for me, curling one hand around the back of my neck and kisses me again—deeply, while palming the front of my pants.

“I need your words, Lili. You want this?” My voice is a harsh pant and I need this more than I need my next breath, but I want her consent more.

I wait, my breath caught in my throat for her to answer. 

***

Was I an asshole last night? Yes.

Did I enjoy every second of it? Also yes.

Tate should be back any minute, and I grab the remote to flip on the basketball game we plan to watch together. I laid into him yesterday about his habits and he’d stormed off—pissed at me. Said it was none of my business, said that I wouldn’t understand. I still had my spot on the team. Hockey had been Tate’s life as much as it is mine. His descent into oblivion had been a swift one. I knew Lili worried about him, hell, I worried about him. If he kept going at the pace he was going, with pills and coke, I didn’t want to think about what would happen to him, or where he would ultimately end up.

“Hey man,” Tate says, bounding through the front door, boxes of takeout containers in his hands.

“Hey. You got food?” I meet his eyes, looking for any sign that he’s high, and find none. Or any sign that Lili told him what we did last night. No sign of that either. I release a slow exhale.

“Hell yeah.” He grins.

I wait for the regret to hit me, maybe followed by a hefty sense of shame. I fucked Tate’s sister last night. It’s strangely absent.

The truth is—the sex was fantastic between us, but it was more than just sex. I swear my soul actually left my body at one point.

The sweet way she responded to my filthy commands, those throaty moans she made just for me. Those eyes. Fuck, I’m still haunted by her eyes. So trusting. So full of life. She came multiple times, all but strangling my cock before finally milking me dry. I’ve never had it so good. And so while part of me was ready to get down on one knee and beg her to be my girl, the rational part of me knew it was a one-time deal. 

I couldn’t go falling in love with Tate’s sister. He would kill me. And considering the dude was on thin ice, one setback away from going off the deep end for good, I couldn’t do that to him. Maybe, maybe if he was in a healthy place. And maybe if I went about it in a respectable way—asking her out on a proper date, clearing it with him first—maybe I’d have a shot at making this work. Instead I fucked her on our couch and didn’t even call her after. Yeah, I’m basically the world’s biggest shit bag.

Tate sets the takeout containers on the coffee table, since the countertops are littered with old takeout containers and beer bottles. Our place is constantly a mess, and if I knew it wouldn’t send Tate over the edge, I’d suggest him moving out so I can have my own place.

And considering the guy is struggling, and I’m under a mountain of pressure right now between hockey and college, I doubt it’s the right time to bring up a major life change. We’ve lived together for four years. I’m trying not to rock the boat, even if Tate is intent on sinking it. He had everything going for him until drugs took hold. Now I know he’s struggling but too proud to ask for help.

I’ve learned not to bring up certain topics with him, hockey is one of them. His sister would certainly be another. My memories with Lili last night would have to be enough, because I wasn't likely to get a repeat.