Emilia

Making my way through the double doors, I take a minute to orient myself. Located about 15 miles from the Ruby Creek exit of the turnpike, the rest stop offers little in the way of modern conveniences. Cream floor tiles, plain white walls with the typical ugly rest stop artwork. Vending machines line up the wall to my right, bathrooms are to my left. And just beyond the plain-looking hallway that has seen better days, it opens to a small cafe that sells the typical grab-and-go sandwich and salad options you find at a small-town rest stop.

This isn’t what I had in mind when I suggested we meet for lunch. However, given his privacy concerns, I figured this was our best option since folks from Ruby Creek have no reason to come here.

As expected, the place is crowded with travel-weary families. It’s why I came early, knowing it might take some time to find an open table. Within minutes, I find us a seat and shoot him a text to let him know where he can find me.

Emilia: Got here early. When you arrive, come through the front hall, then turn left. You’ll see me. No rush. See you soon.

Lucas: Be there in 5.

His response comes through almost immediately. The tension in my body ramps to an uncomfortable level at the sound of the message notification. Fidgeting in my seat, I run a hand through my wavy brown hair and take in the number of families enjoying their meal together. It’s Mother’s Day weekend, so it shouldn’t surprise me to find so many young families, and yet, it does. The sight rubs at the raw wound Creed left behind when he left us. He is the reason we aren’t living the perfect family life he vowed to provide. He reneged on his promises and left us to pursue his own dreams, giving up on the dreams that I was led to believe were jointly ours.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, especially as the screen saver on my phone captures my attention. It’s a picture of my two beautiful girls taken just before Easter. Their sweet little smiles exude nothing but pure, innocent joy. How could he walk away from them? It’s something I’ll never understand, let alone come to terms with.

Thankfully, even through the adversity of being raised by a mom who is a mess on her best days, the happiness on their faces fills my heart with hope. Maybe things for them aren’t as bad as they feel for me. Hopefully, I can continue to protect them from the utter disappointment and failure that are their parents.

“Embree…”

At the sound of that name, my body reacts. He’s the only one who calls me that, and hearing it again after all these years awakens something deep within me. Hope? Happiness? Anticipation? Whatever it is, it’s a foreign feeling I both welcome and want to reject. My warning to protect my heart blares like an alarm over my thoughts, but then our gazes meet, shattering all restraint and obliterating my concerns.

Before I can stop myself, I rise to meet him. The connection that binds us pulls my body forward until I’m wrapped in his arms. At the feel of his presence, emotions overwhelm me and tears start to pour from my eyes.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” I say through broken sobs.

His clean scent—soap, and masculinity—mixed with the warmth of his body, wraps me in the same blissful comfort I haven’t felt since our last night together. The sensation of his fingers weaving through my hair at the nape of my neck overwhelms my senses in the best way, eliciting a relieved sob.

He’s here. Back home, where he belongs. With me and in his arms.

I should be ashamed. Feeling this way about another man while my husband is out there, somewhere. Missing. It’s wrong in every way, but being back in Lucas’s arms, when for so long I feared he was forever lost to me, I don’t have it in me to push the feelings away.

Lucas was my first love. My first kiss. My first everything and his disappearance broke something inside of me. Not only did losing him change me, the lack of closure forever bound me to him. Heart, body, and soul. And though it’s Creed, that I owe those things to, I can’t help that it’s Lucas who owns those parts of me.

It makes me sound like a terrible wife, but I promise, my husband knew where Lucas and I stood from the moment we met. I never hid what Lucas meant to me, nor how his loss nearly destroyed me. My husband came into my life at a time when I’d given up all hope of happiness. He saved me from the dark depths of desolation where Lucas left me. And it’s why I made the vow that though my heart would always belong to Luc, my loyalty would forever remain with my husband. Even now, after he too abandoned me. Even now that the other half of my soul has returned. 

“Sweetheart. Please don’t cry,” he begs, his voice thick with emotion.“My stone heart can’t take it.”

 His tone is laced with such desperation that I can’t help but chuckle through my tears. “Your stone heart?”

“Yes. It was stone-cold solid. Completely impenetrable as of yesterday, but seeing you cry? Any more of this and you’ll ruin my tough-guy facade.”

I look up in time to catch a genuine smile on his face. It’s the first real smile he’s given me and God! Those eyes. So blue and yet so green. And the way they crinkle at the corners steals my breath. He was barely a man the last time I saw him. Now matured, with his body filled out in all the right places. He’s so much more than I remember. Even with the long-disheveled hair and the messy beard, there’s no way to miss the perfect male specimen that’s hidden underneath.

Catching myself after staring too long, I feel the warmth of my blush creeping up my face. Remembering why we’re here, I pull away and signal that we should take a seat.

“I’m sorry for getting all weepy. It’s just hard to believe you’re here,” I tell him, as together we make our way back to the table. Before either of us can sit, his dog steps forward. Bumping his head into my hand, and demanding a hello. “Hi there, big guy. I’m happy to see you, too.” I tell him as I run my hands over his black, velvety ears.

“Sorry, he gets a little excited when we’re around people. It doesn’t happen often,” he apologizes sheepishly. “Nero, af.” He tells the dog before he lays down at our feet.

“Af?” I ask, confused.

“Dutch. It’s the language used to train him.”

Arching my brow, I ask, “You speak Dutch?”

“A few commands. I know enough to keep him safe.”

Taking the seat across from me, I’m surprised when he reaches for my hands. His expression dims as he looks to where our fingers connect.

“If I can be honest, when I got into town, the last thing I wanted was to run into anyone from my past.” Lifting his gaze, he adds, “I damn near had a panic attack after I left you yesterday. Tried to talk myself into leaving town. Canceling this meeting. Possibly drinking myself into a coma…” he shakes his head, and his smile fades. “As you’re aware, I’m the master of running from my problems. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I needed to see you. To explain. To try to set things right.”

“Why did you leave?” It comes out in a pained breath. One it feels like I’ve been holding in for over 15 years.

“It’s complicated. Parts aren’t my story to tell, but the bottom line, I left to protect Jenny. If I’d stayed, she might have ended up in foster care right alongside me. I didn’t want that for her. It was best that I leave.” He shifts in his seat, his discomfort evident. “Though I’d appreciate it that stayed between us. She can’t find out. I don’t want her blaming herself.”

Taking advantage that he’s mentioned her, I tell him, “I can’t keep this from her, Lucas. It’s too big a secret, and she’d never forgive me if…”

“I know.” He sighs. “The last thing I want is to cause more problems. Can you let me be the one to tell her? I’ll keep your name out of it so you’re in the clear. I just think it would be best if the news came from me.”

With a sigh of relief, I nod before asking the one question that’s been plaguing me. “If you didn’t come back to see us, then why are you here?”

For a moment it looks like he’s not going to tell me, but then... “My parents put their property into a trust which I inherited upon their passing. At the time I was too young, so your dad set it up so everything got handled until my 30th birthday. That’s when their assets were transferred to me. I honestly forgot about it, until I got a call from a developer a few months back, asking if I’d sell. The settlement is scheduled for tomorrow morning. That’s why I’m here.”

“And after that’s done? Are you leaving right away?” Though I attempt to act casual, it takes everything I have to tamp down the apprehension building at the thought of him leaving.

“Well, the plan was to get through closing, drop a check off in the mail for Jenny, and then leave, but now…” He looks back at our adjoined hands and doesn’t finish his thought.

“But now?”

“Now I don’t know. Seeing you…” he grimaces, then shakes his head. “And after I talk to Jenny, leaving right away feels wrong.”

He ends the sentence with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, hints of sadness lingering on his scruffy, yet handsome face. Releasing my hands, he sits back. His shoulders grow tense, and then he crosses his arms over his chest in a defensive posture. Like he’s fortifying his walls, building barricades to push me away. It happens in the blink of an eye. The sudden change sends an icy pool of dread coiling up my spine.

“What the fuck am I…?” He groans under his breath, his head shaking from side to side. When he finally looks at me, his face is a mix of emotions I can’t read. Then, in a harsh tone, he warns, “I’m fucked up, Embree. There’s nothing left of the boy you used to know. I’m nothing but this angry, bitter, jaded shell of a man who’s a danger to anyone he gets close to. Trust me, I’m not someone you want around. I don’t belong here. Not anymore.”

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Author’s Note:

Oh, my heart! There's so much love, longing, and pain between these two. In a lot of ways, they are stuck in the past, both of them stunted by a tragedy that took place before they were old enough to process it in a healthy way.

The hardest part for me in writing this scene was figuring out how to best convey the type of love Emilia has for her husband. That though her heart has and will always belong to Lucas, she gave her husband the one thing that is more important to her than love. Loyalty.

It's why the men abandoning her and walking away shattered her so badly. It's why Nic's betrayal hurt her so intensely.

So what do you think about this chapter? I can’t wait to read your comments!

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