Beck
Did I hallucinate or Jude actually invited me to go to his house this weekend?
After having such a tough time over the week after being "outed" as a non shifter, I spent the whole time at school being either stared at or talked about. Or both.
It was horrible, honestly. Things only started to die down by Thursday when the novelty wore off. By then, it was no longer a hot topic of conversation and people moved on from me.
Though I still get the odd look from time to time, I think that's never going away. Not really.
In fact, my week only got better when Jude invited me to his house. That was by far the highlight of my time here, not that I think he did so with the purpose of a date.
I think he's just trying to be nice to me after the hell I was put through, which is very endearing. I understand he's probably trying to offer his friendship.
I welcome it with all my heart. I could use more friends in this pack and I'm not gonna lie, while I have a major crush on him, I'd still be happy to just be his friend.
Of course, I'd love to be more but I don't expect someone like him to be interested in lonely old me. But that's okay, I'm good with being his friend.
We queer people need to stick together, so I welcome his friendship. However…
I couldn't help but notice how my cousin got jealous once Jude invited me to his house.
We all heard inside the classroom when Quentin said Kingsley will probably get mated to Jude and how he's 'practically begging for it'.
Though Jude protested loudly at the assumption, my cousin wasn't exactly bothered by it. He doesn't talk about it, but I'm guessing he does have a major crush on Jude.
Cousin, I guess we can relate in more ways than one. You have good taste, he is very dreamy.
Anyway, it is what it is. I can't exactly afford to reject any offer of friendship right now. It gets lonely here with no one to talk to.
Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my cousin and mom. But some diversity in life is good. It'd be nice to have alternatives on who I can spend time with.
It's the first of September and the school year is only getting started.
After the surprise invitation, I practically floated through my last classes of the day and back home.
By dinner time, my mom noticed my difference in mood and inquired about it. She said I have been miserable all week and now it looked like I had won the lottery or something.
I told her she was exaggerating a little, but said I was invited to go to a classmate's house tomorrow. I didn't mention it was the Alpha residence because I didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
She was happy for me, but in true mother's fashion, she asked to meet this friend before I could go to his house. I guess it makes sense since we don't know anyone in this pack.
I should probably have told her it was the Alpha's son. At least, she already met him. I guess now I can only wait and see.
I went to bed feeling so happy and excited about my weekend, like I haven't been in a very long time. Even before I left the reservation.
It sounds silly to be this excited about a simple invitation, but after the hell I just survived, the truth is I didn't know if anyone would ever want to be my friend.
I felt radioactive for some reason. Not even my bully wanted to risk beating me up, supposedly to not get infected by me. That's how bad it got.
On Saturday, I woke up after a great night of sleep. I got downstairs for breakfast ready for the long weekend and to face my fears.
There is a lot of uncertainty in my life with being in a new town and pack. Not to mention the whole mating thing that I'm not so sure how it's going to play out.
But for now I'm just excited to be getting out of the house. It's not that I mind staying in, but I'd rather be in good company when I do so.
My mother was also seeming to be in a good mood. She finally found work in an elementary school downtown and I'm so happy for her.
I know she was worried about being able to support us now that we no longer can count on my father for money.
I feel like I should be out looking for a part time job, but she wouldn't want me to. She prefers me focusing solely on school work, especially since this is my last year.
I am genuinely glad for her - and even happier it's not at my school she's working. I may have dodged a bullet there.
After breakfast, I brushed my teeth and tried to distract myself while Jude didn't arrive to pick me up.
He never stipulated a timeline, so he could still be sleeping as far as I know. He doesn't have to work around a strict meal schedule like I do.
I do my best to think about something else and pretend I'm not nervous about this visit. Eventually, the hours flew by and before I knew it was lunch time.
Mom was watching me eat looking anxious.
"Are you sure it's just a friend and not a date? You're awfully anxious for a simple playdate." - She snickered in between bites of her meal.
"No one says playdate anymore, mom. I'm not 4. And yes, I'm positive it's just a friend thing." - I replied, nervously. Though I could barely eat I was so anxious at this point.
I don't know what's taking over me. It's not like I never had a friend before in my life. I went through the same thing at my old school.
Though it was much easier back then.
As soon as I left the dining room, I got a text from Jude saying he's coming to pick me up now.
In reality, he had sent the text when I was already having lunch so I didn't visualize it before.
Much to my surprise, he walked into the pack house just as I was leaving the dining room. Immediately, I smiled at his presence.
"Good afternoon, Jude. Thanks for coming here, I hope it wasn't much trouble." - I greeted him cordially.
"Good afternoon, Beck. No, it wasn't a bother at all. I live not too far from here. Is this your mom?" - He inquired, looking at the lady staring at him by my side in the hallway.
"Right. Yes, she is. Jude, this is my mom Talla. Mom, this is Jude." - I introduced them, shyly. They shook hands cordially.
"Nice to meet you, ma'am. I'm Jude Atwood." - He introduced himself and my mom immediately widened her eyes in surprise.
He picked up on that right away.
"Yeah, I'm his son. But don't hold it against me." - He joked, to which my mom and I nervously laughed.
"It's very nice to meet you, Jude. Have fun, son!" - She smiled at us, before leaving towards her room.
"Let me just brush my teeth and we can leave then." - I said, moving to walk back to my room. Jude stayed back in the living room.
Some time later, we arrived at a beautiful house a few minutes away from where I live. He opened the front door and I was marveled by a sumptuously decorated three bedroom house.
First off, the living room was big enough to contain two large sofas, a puff and a coffee table. Not to mention the incredible home entertainment system installed on the wall with the largest TV set I've ever seen.
The kitchen was functional and spacious like the rest of the house. There was a table with several chairs, though they only use 4 on a daily basis.
There was a bathroom and a back yard. Jude cordially took me on a tour of his house, explaining how he was raised here and the several memories he has of this place with his family.
It was all very pleasant until his brother appeared as we walked the upstairs corridor. A cold chill ran through my spine as he looked at me by Jude's side.
"Welcome to our house, Becky." - He smiled at me in a way that was putting me off.
"It's just Beck." - I corrected him, rolling my eyes in annoyance.
"Right. Well, have fun with my brother, Becky. Let me know if you two need a condom." - He said and I blushed to a shade people usually don't get to see on my skin tone.
"Quentin!" - Jude gasped in shock at his statement.
"I apologize for my brother. Please ignore him, that is NOT why I invited you to my home." - He was quick to clarify emphatically and clearly flustered.
"I didn't think it was, Jude. It's fine." - I assured him, still blushing.
We walked downstairs where he offered me a soda, which I politely accepted.
"You have a very nice home. I loved it here." - I said, taking a sip of my soda while we sat on the couch in the living room.
"Thanks. It serves its purpose well. Though I wouldn't mind if it had a pool too." - He said in a humorous tone.
"Imagine that. You'd probably be very popular." - I snickered.
"Maybe. Jalensky has one in his house but his parents rarely let him receive visitors, so it's not exactly guaranteed." - He countered, breathing out a sigh.
"I see. Is that why he comes here so often? Because his parents are strict? Because if I had a friend with a pool, I'd be there at his house instead of visiting here. No offense." - I argued in a light tone.
He laughed at this.
"Oh I see… gold digger." - He joked.
"It's a very hot day for Fall." - I defended myself, fanning my face with my hands.
"Do you want me to turn on the A.C.?" - He offered, worried about me.
"Do you have air conditioning too?" - I was surprised to hear, though I probably shouldn't.
"Yes, we do. It gets hot here in Texas." - He said, playfully.
"I can tell." - I said, noticing as his shirt was loose on his torso, drenched in sweat in some parts where it touched his skin. Jude is wearing denim shorts and sandals.
My wandering eyes curiously land on his lap, in the intersection where his shirt ends loosely covering his bulging crotch.
Once he caught me looking down, I blushed immediately.
"You came right after lunch time at the pack house. Have you eaten?" - I tried to distract him from my thirsty eyes.
"I had a late breakfast today. I'm not hungry, but my mom left us some food in the fridge." - He replied, looking over my shoulders towards the kitchen.
"That's nice of her. Do your parents travel a lot?" - I inquired, curiously.
"Once a month, usually. But this time was for leisure, not for work. They went to visit my grandparents who live in El Paso." - He informed me, nonchalant.
"How nice." - I commented as he looked at me, carefully studying my skin as we stood closer to each other than we ever did.
We talked for a while before he eventually got hungry and went to the kitchen to reheat some lunch. He offered me politely, but I'm still full.
I drank a juice instead and we talked some more while he ate. He told me about his coming out to his parents and the school.
He also told me a little about his friendship with Layla and how the two of them connected because of the prejudice they both suffered, though the reasons are completely different.
We engaged in such a flow of conversation that we completely lost track of time. We seemed to never run out of topics.
Naturally, I told him all about my complicated family history and the reasons for me to have moved here. He empathized with me, especially when I told him about the 'breeding partner'.
He was appalled as soon as he heard it and said no child should ever have to hear that from a parent. You can say that again…
His brother stayed clear of our space for the most part, but suddenly he climbed down the stairs excitedly towards the front door.
He opened the door to welcome his girlfriend Cassie, Owen, Jalensky and two other female friends of theirs.
Everyone greeted Jude and I politely, but Jalensky scowled as he saw me in the living room. I know him to be a homophobic asshole, but I don't know why he's frowning at my presence here.
It's not like we had any interaction so far or I ever did anything to him. Anyway, I can't worry about other people's opinions of me.
"Come, Beck. Let's go to my room now that my house has been infested by straight people." - He said in a joking tone, motioning me to follow him.
As he said that, Quentin hummed in a naughty inflection as if that invitation meant anything untoward. He was looking at us as if his brother had said: ‘let's fuck each other's brains out’.
I blushed instantly and Jalensky was giving me the evil eye. Jude flipped his brother off and we left the living room, but not before he grabbed us a couple of soft drinks for later.
As we climbed up the stairs of the sumptuous house, I could tell that he was bothered by his brother's insinuation.
I know he invited me here with the best intentions and I do appreciate that. I just hate how us queer people are always made to feel dirty, when in reality neither of us are doing what I'm sure his brother is gonna do with his girlfriend. Not even remotely.
It's kinda fucked up that we get the bad rep all the while three straight pairs are let loose inside the house to do whatever they want.
"Again, I'm sorry for my brother. He seems unfamiliar with the concept of friendship between gay boys. Not to assume anything regarding your sexuality." - Jude said, feeling uncomfortable.
"It's fine, Jude. I'm guessing you never brought an out queer boy here before." - I tranquilized him in a playful tone.
"Not out or in, no. Never." - He replied, blushing. - "I hope their presence here hasn't put you off from visiting me in any way." - His tone was nervous as we entered his bedroom. He closed the door behind us and we sat on his bed with some distance between us.
"Not in the slightest, as a matter of fact. I'm used to not being wanted." - I blurted and immediately regretted it once I saw his face pitying me.
He looked at me with empathy and relatability that I'm not used to seeing in other people.
"You are wanted by the people who matter and that is more than enough. No one should ever feel unwanted." - He stated with firm conviction.
I was impressed to see the glimpse of Alpha in him. It usually doesn't come out unless he's angry, but his voice was so confident I had to resist the urge to bow and reply 'yes, Alpha'.
"Thanks, Jude. I really appreciate it. I just thought it odd to see Jalensky glaring at me like I did something wrong. I've never even spoken to him." - I commented, feeling a bit uneasy. Though in the grand scheme of things, he's the least bit intimidating to me.
Jude frowned in annoyance at the fact.
"That was about him, not you. Trust me, he doesn't like seeing me with anyone." - He admitted, making me curious. He looked really annoyed by this.
"Why doesn't he like seeing you with anyone? What's it to him?" - I couldn't hold my tongue and suddenly he flashed a panicked expression and regret of claiming that.
Jude got flustered by my question and he got so tongue tied it took him a minute or two to reply.
"He's so homophobic that even the idea of me being with someone irritates him." - He explained, trying to sound convincing.
I didn't necessarily buy that argument, but I don't want to waste time talking about him.
"I see. I hate these types of people. Changing the subject, can I ask what made you invite me here today and please don't say it's because you pitied me." - I inquired, curiously.
"It's not." - He was quick to clarify.
"I do relate to you in many aspects, but I don't pity you. I actually find you to be a formidable boy. I'm in awe of you." - He continued and I blushed the reddest so far.
A|N: I struggled to name the chapter as I could go in so many directions. But the overall theme of being wanted spoke louder.
Love,
Léo.
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