Eventually, I turned away from the door, unable to handle the prospect of what was to await me on the other side. And, curling into myself so tightly that my knees nearly touched my nose, I buried my face into the pillow that I still held, and prayed. 

I will never ask for anything else ever again. Just... Please, God/dess, if you can hear me, let him live.

"Knock, knock," a delicate voice sounded from my door, and as I dared a peek out of my little cocoon of despair and over my shoulder, the sight of Dad's typical, unruly pile of black curls and bright green eyes stared back at me, peeking through a small crack in my door. "May I please come in, sweetheart?"

My initial reaction was to say no, to shun any and everyone until I could breathe without feeling like there was fire licking away at my lungs. But the longer I stared, the more my resolve lowered, and before I knew it, I was nodding my head at him before settling back down to where I'd gotten comfortable – with my back toward and staring out of the window.

As Dad settled on the edge of my bed, the mattress gently sank under his weight. He carefully placed a steaming mug of what I instantly scented as chamomile tea on a knitted coaster resting on my bedside table. Then, I felt his long fingers brushing tenderly against my scalp as they gently sifted through the tangled mess that was my hair.

"I brought you tea," Dad started, his voice was tranquil and soft, as if he were speaking to a skittish animal. "And..." He paused, taking a moment to set something... heavenly in front of my nose. "This."

Without even thinking, a loud cry escaped my throat as I pushed my pillow away, instead using both hands to press my face into the wondrous fabric, sobs steadily ripping their way forth as I inhaled lungful after lungful of the most delicious scent to ever exist in any and all universes. Nearly instantly, the endless, scorching heat in my lungs dissipated, falling away as if it were never even there in the first place. 

I probably looked pretty insane, laying there as I frantically sucked air through the fabric, curling my body around this one, simple item that had suddenly become the center of my universe. But even so, all that Dad did was massage my hair, using his nimble fingers to work out the knots that had formed over the last twenty-four hours. 

"I asked Benji to take it into the operating room and rub it against as many of your mate's scent glands that were accessible right now." He began explaining after a few beats of allowing me to indulge in my newfound addiction, "Being half Omega myself, I know how much your Papa's scent soothes me when I'm feeling down. So I figured... maybe you'd feel the same about your mate."

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, taking another pull from the shirt. Dad had definitely figured right. And now that his scent was no longer tainted by all of that blood and dirt and my mind was easing its way out of the immediate shock phase, I could clearly make out all of the olfactory notes that I'd missed before, each one teasing my senses, popping like fireworks behind my eyelids and spreading a warm blanket across my tongue.

The first note I picked up on was smoke, like the dancing embers of a campfire when they fizzle out in the wind and get caught in your nose. And closely behind it lay the scent of raw earth, one that reminded me of my favorite scent since childhood – that distinctly gorgeous smell that emanates from the plants, the topsoil, and the trees only moments after it rains, soaking the world with a newfound vibrance and a profound hope of new life.

I could only imagine what it would be like to take in my mate's scent directly from the source. But right now, I was grateful for anything that would help ease the rib-crushing ache in my chest.

"The surgeries are going well so far. Your Papa is downstairs keeping an eye on things," Dad said softly. Relief washed over me at the news, but the weight of uncertainty still loomed heavily.

As the silence lingered and my breaths grew deeper, Dad sighed and continued with a comforting tone, "I know your Papa's initial reaction to this whole situation was less than ideal, and I can't promise that he will fully embrace it until he knows more about your mate's background and how he ended up in this condition. But deep down, I know that your Papa truly does want you to be with your mate. He's been through the pain of mate separation before, and he understands how agonizing that it can be."

Pausing thoughtfully, Dad carefully chose his words, "But right now, he's just scared. Sometimes fear makes people react in ways they don't truly mean." Dad's hand continued to move gently, sifting through my hair, soothing me with his warm touch.

"But regardless, I want you to know that feeling every ounce of your emotions is okay. In fact, it's sometimes vital to experience fear, grief, or any and all of those difficult feelings, because shows that we're alive, that we love, and that we're growing as people in this complicated, fucked up world," Dad's voice was full of empathy and understanding, and his words resonated deep. "So always remember, no matter what it is about, you can talk to me, sweetheart. I'm here for you, no matter the time or circumstance. You don't have to carry this alone."

Dad's vulnerable words resonated somewhere in my heart, bouncing around and latching onto the flesh there. And then, I was flipping around, latching my arms around my Dad's middle so hard that for a second there, I thought I might just cut him in half.

The dam broke for real this time. And as I sobbed endlessly into his stomach, soaking his shirt through, Dad did nothing but rub my back slowly, holding the back of my head as he pressed kisses to the top of it.

"I'm really sorry for shoving you," The whispered words came out muffled as the need to make things right with him overwhelmed me. "It's just... I couldn't control it. It's like the love just goes right through me, from my head to your toes. It's terrifying and painful and overwhelming and I'm so scared, Dad. I don't know how to cope with the possibility of losing him. It's like I'll never be myself again."

"Oh, Koko," He trailed off, a single tear overflowing from the corner of his eye as he tilted his head at a slight angle to look down at me. "You love fiercely, and that's a beautiful thing. Don't feel bad, alright, sweetie? I'm just fine. If it were your Papa they were wheeling into that infirmary room, I would have done the exact same thing." He kissed the top of my head once more, "You wanna know a secret? Parents don't have all the answers either. Hell, I was scared out of my mindwhen I first found out your Papa and I were gonna have a kid, but I still like to think that I did a halfway decent job raising you crazy ass rascals," He poked my side, and I had to resist the urge to crack another one of my grimace-smiles. 

"Unfortunately, life doesn't come with an instruction manual." He continued, "Sometimes, we just have to ride the waves as they come and try to make the best of all of the fucked up situations we are challenged with. Because honestly, sometimes, that's truly what life is – completely and utterly fucked up," he admitted with a slight choked-up quiver to his words, "But through it all, just know that I love you so much more than you could ever even imagine. And no matter what, I am always, always, on your team."

I glanced up at him then, and his tender eyes met mine, glistening with emotion and distinct wetness. My words came out soggy and cracked, but true nonetheless.

"I love you so much, too, Dad" I rasped, my arms somehow tightening even more around his middle as I tried to put all of my emotion into that one embrace. "I love you forever."

"And I love you always." Cupping my cheeks between his warm hands, Dad hunched his shoulders down a little, pressing a kiss to my forehead before smiling down at me. "Now, would you like for me to give you a heads-up when the dinner I ordered gets here, or would you rather just get some rest right now?"

"I'm just gonna rest I think," Finally releasing him from my grip in favor of pressing the fabric impregnated with my mate's scent back into my face, I added, "But... will you please let me know if you hear anything about him?"

"Of course, no problem, honey. And try to have some tea if you can, alright?" Dad's smile brightened as he stood up. But despite the fact that I'd just poured my entire heart out, I could only manage a nod in response.

"Should I leave your door open, closed, or locked?" Dad asked as he reached the doorway.

"Closed," I whispered back.

With a blown kiss, Dad fulfilled my request and left me to myself. And as I clutched that soothing, smoke-and-earth-scented fabric back against my nose, an overwhelming sense of serenity engulfed me. And through all of the pain, a sliver of tranquility beckoned, my mind turning quiet until I finally – finally – drifted off into a peaceful, undisturbed sleep.

The siblings are so funnyyyy 😭 And Jax is such a good dad, UGH

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