K O A

I quietly hurry myself up the stairs, I push open my door, Princeton is laying on my bed staring at his phone and Knox is chatting with someone on his, once he sees me he hangs up the phone, rushing over to me. "Have you seen Opal since schools been out?"

"Yes."

"Do you know where she is now?" He questions.

I shrug my shoulders, "Well it's late, so I think she would be home."

"Her parents called, they said they can't find her, she won't answer her phone, it goes straight to voicemail. The police have reported her as missing."

"Wait what!?"

"When did you see her last?"

"Um, seven or eight hours ago... I'm so stupid!"

"Huh?" Princeton sits up, "Why?"

"I.. left her alone in downtown Maplesgrove." I rub my forehead, my stomach feels queasy.

"Oh man, you are stupid." Princeton blurts out. "Why the hell did you leave her alone? At night, in downtown?"

"Because I'm an ass. A stupid, no good, fucking asshole." I pull on my hair, pacing around my room. "They haven't heard from her at all?"

Knox shakes his head, "Afraid not."

"What happened that made you leave her alone?"

"I... she.. we-"

"Spit it out!" Knox demands.

"She told me she loved me."

Their mouths drop. "And that made you get angry and leave?"

"Yes." I lie. "I panicked I didn't know what to say." I left her alone, with creepos and perverts lurking around every corner. The only reason I said all those harsh things was because I panicked, and I realized that one of these days I will end up dead, it's best if she gets over me now. "I said terrible things to her." I sit on the edge of my bed, holding my head in my palms, tugging on the end of my hair. "Oh god."

Knox sits in between Princeton and I, "What kind of hurtful things?"

"Like..." I cringe, "drop dead."

Knox smacks me on the back of the head. "Holy shit."

"If she ends up dead it's my fault."

"She won't." Princeton assures me.

"How do you know that?"

"Because Opal is Opal. She's stronger than you think. She's withstood many hard times, some you don't even know about, Koa." Princeton pats my back.

Knox sighs, rubbing his face, "That was... really shitty Koa. I hope she's okay, wherever she is. Opal is a good person and she definitely didn't deserve someone she cares about saying that to her face, especially someone she loves. You out of all people know what it feels like."

"You don't think I know that? I feel terrible, worse than terrible... whatever that is. I didn't mean it."

"We should go look for her. Maybe she's just sitting somewhere, scared." Princeton suggests.

"Yeah it's the least we could do, after you said those horrible things to her, Koa." Knox glares.

F L A S H   B A C K

Opals mossy colored eyes stare back at me, waiting for a reply, begging me for one. But I can't bring myself to it, how could I tell her I love her? I'm a dead guy, I can't put her through it. One day the overdose will work, there's no point in letting myself love her back.

We stare at each other in silence, "Koa?" She presses her lip firmly together, forming a thin line, trying to read my thoughts, she wouldn't be happy if she could. Her life would be in shatters, she wouldn't be the bubbly, cheerful person I know.

I bring my hands to my face, trying to think of something to say. She sits down beside me, placing the palm of her tiny hand on my knee. "Say something." Her voice comes out shaky, like she's giving it her all to hold off those tears that threaten to escape. "Please." She mutters softly, almost unable to hear her.

I gaze at her small figure, tugging on the ends of my hair. What do I say to that? She told me she loves me. This silence must be eating her alive. Why doesn't she understand that all I want is to die? My life is not worth living. I may have some good people in my life, but I can't bring myself to stay. I only bring the ones around me down, I make their lives a living hell. Who wants to care for a person that wants to forget? Who wants that weight on their shoulders? Why do they keep trying to stop me?

She twirls her pale freckled fingers around the dying grass that creeps through the cracks. She rubs her arms together, still searching for some warmth in this cold frigid air that desires to turn to frost. I wish she could see the way I see the world, just for a second, then she would stop trying to save me. I'm not worth saving.

I shake my head, letting words out, unknowing what I'm about to say. "Wow... I can't believe you." I curl my hands, digging my nails in my palms to the point they bleed.

"You are selfish."

"Wha-" her eyes widen in shock.

"I can't believe you, Opal!" I sigh silently to myself, trying to stop myself from saying anything worse. But if I have to say awful things to get her to stop, then so be it. She doesn't need my burdens on her back. "Go home."

"But-"

"Fuck off Opal, I don't want you here. You're a selfish bitch. I don't want you around me. Leave me alone. Don't bother talking to me, you are wasting both our time."

Tears form in her damp eyes, "Koa-"

"Save it. I don't give a flying fuck about you Opal, it's best if you leave me alone. Take your prissy zippy ass away from me." I sink my nails into my skin harder than before, I deserve the pain for saying this. She doesn't deserve this, she doesn't deserve me. She needs someone who can be there for her, someone who can love her better than I can.

Tears flood her flushed cheeks, I rip the dandelion from my hair, crushing the flower in between my palms. I toss it on the ground like it's nothing, like she's nothing. "Koa I thought-"

"Drop dead." I cringe at my own words, this is why she doesn't need me. I'm able to tell the girl I love to drop dead. My heart crumbles, how could a person be so ruthless? Because I'm just a dead boy walking.

She looks at me like I've turned into something wicked. I hurt Opal, but I had too. She can't love me, she doesn't need the pain. "You... you don't mean that."

"Get bent Opal."

She sobs into her hands, hiding her face from me. I didn't realize how bad this would hurt. I want to turn around and tell her that I love her, that I don't mean any of this, that she's deserves better. "I guess I should."

Did my words crush her vibrant spirit? I want to throw up, if I didn't deserve to die, then I sure as hell deserve to die now. "Then leave already."

"I... I can't."

It takes all the strength I have to push myself up and walk away from her. "Then I will."

P R E S E N T

My heart sinks in my chest, this is all my fault. I'm the worst person to ever exist. I'm as good as dirt. I said such crummy things to one of the greatest people. She's got to be here, she can't leave, not like this. Maybe I should have told her how I really feel. I can't take this.

My hands tremble, I pull on my collar, it feels like I'm suffocating. "Over here!" Princeton shouts bending down.

Knox and I jog over to him, "What is it Princeton?"

He brushes the dirt off of something shiny laying in the dirt. "It looks like Opals necklace, do you think?"

I yank it from his hands, running my fingers over it. I can't believe she still has this, I bought this for her so long ago. "Yes," I nod, "it's hers."

"Let's split up, but don't go too far, as long as we can still hear each other in shouting distance." Knox advises us. "If you see anything, just yell, and wave your flashlight."

"Got it." Princeton nods, giving Knox a thumbs up before walking into the distance.

I clutch her necklace tightly, putting it securely in my jean pocket. I wander towards a patch of dead trees and hear something. I push past the trees and see someone lying in grungy ditch. "Opal?" I run towards the figure laying lifeless.

"I... I killed him." I turn around and spot Opal sitting under a tree, her head laying on her knees.

"Oh my God. Opal!" I rush to her side, dried dirt and blood smeared on her face. Blood staining her dress, her dress is covered in numerous holes, dark bruises cover her pale skin. "What happened?! Are you okay!?"

"I.." her eyes stare at the body laying a few feet away from us, her eyes are dark, something doesn't seem right. "I killed him." She seems almost lifeless herself, no sign of any emotion, nothing.

"What happened Opal?"

"He wa-was raping me."

My eyes widen, I stop myself from letting my mouth drop. This is my fault, what have I done?