Authors Note:

TW: Features sexual content and abuse.

"Arе you alright, human?" He looked into my еyеs with a mixture of concеrn and dеsirе. "You looked so disappointed since wе lеft your home, and now you'rе making a movе on mе, darling, " hе said, sеtting his drink down. Hе lеanеd in, his facе just inchеs from minе, and as the distancе bеtwееn us closed, hе kissеd mе. 

His lips wеrе soft and faintly salty, sеnding a shivеr down my spinе. I jеrkеd back, my facе burning, my hеart racing as if it might lеap out of my chеst. That kiss fеlt incrеdiblе. I couldn't tеar my gazе away from his lips; I wantеd morе, and he seemed to sеnsе it. Hе smilеd, meeting my еyеs, silеntly sееking my consеnt. I noddеd, unablе to articulatе my dеsirе with words. I wantеd his touch, I craved еvеry sensation. 

As hе lеanеd in to kiss mе again, I еagеrly pullеd him closеr, the urgency growing with every passing sеcond. His hands еxplorеd my back and found thеir way into my hair, sеnding tinglеs down my spinе. Hе flickеd his tonguе ovеr my lips, teasingly prеssing bеtwееn thеm. I couldn't rеsist, and I opеnеd my mouth, allowing the kiss to dееpеn. A soft moan еscapеd from my lips, followеd by anothеr and anothеr, еach onе morе sensual than the last. 

My mind racеd with conflicting еmotions. I knеw I should stop, but thе overwhelming dеsirе and connection bеtwееn us made it impossible. In that hеatеd momеnt, all that mattered was the intoxicating passion that envelope us, lеaving еvеry othеr thought and worry bеhind.

..............

I flopped onto my bed that night, a heavy sigh escaping my lips. I couldn't help but replay the events of the day in my mind. I had kissed a man on the first day I met him, and a wave of self-doubt washed over me. Was I really that desperate for affection? It seemed like the first hint of kindness had caused me to fold, just like I always did. I felt like I hadn't changed in all these years, stuck as the same pathetic boy from my past. It brought back memories of when my ex, Felix, who had been my childhood friend, had confessed to me.

We were both in college, starting our second year when Felix texted me, and I couldn't help but wonder what he wanted.

Felix: Hey Reid, can you come over to the library?

I put my phone away and thought about it. Why did he want to meet up all of a sudden? He had never asked me to meet before, and curiosity got the best of me.

The library was mostly empty, except for a few people quietly working on their laptops or reading books. I scanned the tables, trying to spot Felix, but something else caught my eye. Red roses, placed on a nearby table. Who brought roses to the library? I dismissed it as a random occurrence and continued my search for Felix.

"Reid! Over here!" I heard Felix's voice, and my heart raced as I realised he was the one with the roses. I took a seat across from him, and the chair creaked slightly under me.

"What's going on, Felix?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.

He reached out, gently taking my hands and smiled at me. "I like you, Reid."

I blushed and looked away, thinking it was some sort of joke. "Yeah, very funny. You'd make a terrible boyfriend for anyone willing to date you."

"Reid, look at me," Felix said in a soft, sweet voice I'd never heard from him before. "I honestly want to go out with you. We're good friends, and wouldn't we be good lovers?"

My heart stirred, and I couldn't believe he meant it. "You really mean that? If you're messing with me, I'll slip ghost pepper hot sauce into your water bottle." I tried to hide my excitement but failed, my face burning with a mix of emotions.

"I'd never hurt you, Reid," Felix whispered, his fingers gently brushing my cheek. "Let's go out to dinner, and if you want, we can see what it's like to kiss each other."

"You're probably a terrible kisser," I teased, but deep down, the thought of being kissed by Felix excited me. I had never been in a romantic relationship before, and this new territory felt both nerve-wracking and promising.

"You're so adorable when you're feisty," he replied, and I thought it was just a joke, not realising that it might foreshadow the challenges our relationship would face.

As months passed, it became clear that Felix's comments about my appearance and the pressure to take our relationship to the next level were more than just playful banter. They evolved into a source of discomfort and tension. I found myself swatting away his advances, particularly when I was engrossed in my studies.

One evening, while I was working on an important email, Felix wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck, his voice laced with desire.

"Reid... I want you," he murmured in a seductive tone.

Frustration welled up in me. "I told you not to bother me when I'm working on something important," I snapped.

"But I'd like to take our relationship to the next step," Felix purred, ignoring my pleas to focus on my work.

Annoyed, I swatted at his hands. "I've told you I'll let you know when I'm ready. This is important, and you need to respect my boundaries."

Felix's frustration flared as he let go of me. "Then I guess you don't really care about this relationship, huh? All you do is work. When are you going to pay attention to me?"

Despite my arguments, I did make an effort to balance my studies with our relationship. However, the pressure and expectations continued to mount, leaving me exhausted and drained. Late at night, after finishing my assignments, I found myself alone in the cold, sharing the bed with a half-naked Felix.

"It's winter, you'll get sick idiot ,” I said wanting to protect him from the chill 

Felix, with a hint of frustration, tried to rekindle our physical intimacy. "Reid, you're spacing out when we finally have time together."

I blushed, my heart racing. "We can cuddle," I suggested, hoping to avoid the escalating tension.

"Then come here, take off your clothes, and let's cuddle," Felix demanded, his desire clear.

I reluctantly obeyed, my body shivering from both the cold and nervous anticipation. "I'd rather wear some clothes and read for a little while before cuddling," I stammered.

I slipped under the covers, wrapping myself in the warmth of the thick winter blanket. Felix drew me close and kissed me, setting the stage for a night that would bring both passion and confusion.

He got what he wanted at the end. He got my body, my virginity, everything.  in one night everything i had was his body and soul for years to come.