The Fifth Day

We open up the shop late. Very late. I worry that maybe this would frustrate the shopkeeper, but each time our eyes meet, she seems to positively glow. I think maybe this morning was worth it, then. She still didn’t remove her shirt, but it’s alright. I know she doesn’t want to, and I would never want her to do something that makes her uncomfortable. When there’s a lull in customers, I clear my throat, wanting to make something clear. My face feels hot as I tap my fingers along the edge of the apothecary’s desk.

“This morning was…just what it seemed,” I avoid meeting her eyes, sure that my face is aflame. “It doesn’t count towards the contract, I mean. It was just…because I wanted to,” I finish, finally catching her gaze. The apothecary looks surprised, but she smiles brightly as she reaches for my hand, pulling me closer to her so that I’m almost sitting in her lap.

“Is that so? Well, what a lovely gift it was - I can’t stop thinking about it,” she grins, stroking the back of my hand. “About you,” she murmurs, her eyes full of an emotion that I wouldn’t dare to name. Covering my face with my free hand, I wait for the heat in my cheeks to die down. A part of me wishes that I could treat each ‘night’ as a gift, just so that I never get my poison, so that I never have to leave, without having to actually make that decision to stay here with her forever.

It’s an odd feeling, to know that I want to be here, and yet too guilty to make that decision myself. 

The day speeds by, but something between the shopkeeper and I has undeniably changed. The secret kisses we share behind the aisles of potions feel so much sweeter now, so much more passionate. Almost like…like we’re a real couple, really in love.

I spend the whole day feeling like I’m drifting along on a cloud, in a happy little bubble of affectionate looks, touches and kisses gifted by the apothecary, right until someone else draws her attention. A man I recognise as her friend from the market, steps into the shop and heads directly for her desk, placing something there. 

“Five root bind for you, just like we agreed,” he smiles, and the smile the apothecary sends back at him leaves a sour feeling in my throat.

This is the only other person my shopkeeper has ever slept with. They were together, a real couple, and even now are close friends. He knows her so much more than I do. Than I will ever know her. But I don’t get to feel jealous. I am a contracted whore, that’s what I’m doing here. Just because we shared something special this morning, just because she treats me like she loves me doesn’t mean she wouldn’t treat any other whore like this. Like she didn’t treat Rius like this, considering she really was in love with him. I’m not special, I just let myself get wrapped up in a fantasy, in my own greed. 

This was a good reminder. I’m not meant for this; this happy, peaceful life. I’m here to murder my father, and then kill myself too. That’s the future that lies ahead of me, not anything here with the handsome apothecary and her loyal dogs.

As the apothecary laughs at something Rius says, my heart squeezes. As she puts her arm around his shoulders, a large smile on her lips, my heart drops even further. She’s happy, this is a good thing. Whatever it is we have - it doesn’t matter. It isn’t important. I have a job to do.

The man stays until the shopkeeper has to close up for the evening, and only then does she pay attention to me again. It’s like she’d completely forgotten that I existed in that time, and all I could do was watch and want. 

“Hungry, Temi? Let’s get dinner on,” she smiles, completely unaware to my internal battle. And unaware she will remain. This is my problem, not hers. I should’ve known where I stand - I’m not a part of her life, not really. I’m here for less than a week - two more nights, whenever those two nights will be. I am insignificant.

She pulls me into her side as she stirs the pot on the stove, her hand resting on my waist comfortably, that happy smile still resting on her lips. I love the sight, regardless of how I feel about everything right now.

“What’s wrong, Temi?” She whispers, turning me around in her arms. She’s able to read me so well, after so little time together. Then again, she still hasn’t told me when we met before, so…maybe she knows me better than I realise.

“Nothing,” I lie, bringing her hand up to my lips and kissing her palm. She frowns, but doesn’t remove her hand from mine.

“Are you…regretting this morning?” She asks tentatively, her eyebrows furrowed worriedly. Shaking my head quickly, I squeeze her hand gently. 

“It’s really nothing, I promise. I’ve just been…thinking, about what I have to do, once our contract is up.” It isn’t technically a lie, although it is far from the whole truth. Her expression falls further, and she opens her mouth to respond before stopping herself abruptly. 

“You’re- you’re still going on your hunt then?” She stammers, blinking quickly. Obviously I’m going. Why would she think that would have changed?

“I have a job to do,” I nod, despite knowing that if she begged me not to go, I’d remain here forever.

“Oh,” she murmurs, turning back to the pot on the stove. She looks disappointed, but I can’t understand why. I see the way she treats me to gently, and the affection in her eyes, but- it’s not like she could have fallen madly in love with me in just these few short days. There’s no way. 

We eat dinner in silence, and it’s only as I’m getting dressed for bed that I realise it’s that time again. The poison must nearly be done by now, so I need to get these last two nights over and done with, before my heart keeps trying to make me change my mind on my mission. And since the shopkeeper still hasn’t said anything to me since earlier, I highly doubt she will make any move on me tonight. Especially since we slept together this morning. Would she even want to have sex now? After we spent so long in each others arms this morning? 

Only one way to find out, I suppose.

She climbs into bed as always, eagerly wrapping herself around me as I lie next to her. Her hand finds its usual place on my abdomen, just below my breasts, and her knees tuck behind mine. We lie in silence for a few minutes, before she lets out a small huff of air into the back of my neck.

“I don’t want you to go, Artemisia. Is that terrible of me?” She murmurs, her grip on me tightening. Then ask me to stay, I almost beg. But instead, I turn around in her arms, pressing my lips to hers and draping my arm over her waist. 

“Let’s just enjoy the time we have left together,” I whisper, unable to voice all my thoughts and feelings for this woman.