After my classes were over, I dragged Rixton to my favorite cafe in the city. Being kidnapped nearby wasn’t exactly the best memory, but I was not going to let the likes of Roy and his mercenaries dilute my experience and preferences. It did, however, set Rixton on edge.

In fact, that wasn’t the only reason he was on edge. He fidgeted across from me, his broad shoulders hunched as if to try to make himself look smaller. His dusty guard uniform did not match the elegant interior of the cafe, or the tiny chair adorned with white metal curlicues he was trying to squeeze himself into.

Usually when I ate in the academy’s cafeteria, Rixton would wait against the back wall, standing silent and watchful. Even when I forced him to sit with me, he never ate or drank anything (hence his tendency to carry foods like the bun, which he probably ate while waiting outside my classes).

Exasperated, I pushed his teacup on its little saucer closer to him. 

“Rixton, relax. You’re not going into an interrogation.”

Truthfully, he was. But he didn’t need to know that.

 Besides, he was looking at the door like a man with a whip was going to walk through any second and start flailing him.

Since it was at my urging, he picked up the cup and cradled it in his large hands.

I leaned forward on my elbows, piercing him with my gaze. “Rixton, you talk to a lot of people.”

He gulped. His eyes were wide. Was there any reason for him to be so scared of my suspicion? “My lady, if you’ve heard something…”

Maybe I had taken Rixton off the list of suspects too soon.

What was he talking about? “Are you hiding something from me?”

He swallowed again, and took a nervous sip of tea. “I may have been asking around… about the training program some of the knights went through.”

I relaxed. “Are you talking about wanting to achieve knighthood?”

He gripped the thin handle of the cup harder. “I wouldn’t enter the program until after you graduate, Lady Raine.”

I smiled at him. “Are you that eager to leave me?”

His hands whitened, and I could almost hear the snap of a cup handle. His face was strangely desperate, and his next words were muttered so quietly I almost missed them. “I’m doing this because I don’t want to leave you.”

Some kind of weird atmosphere had settled over our table. I might have accidentally stumbled into an "event” without realizing.

I tried to steer the conversation away from any confessions of loyalty or something else. “I am not here to talk to you about your personal exploits. I want to know if you heard anything from other guards about ill regard towards the monarchy.”

“Are you…” he peered up from under his eyelashes, “asking on behalf of Prince Vel?”

Not this again. “Prince Vel is certainly interested in the answer to the question.” It felt weird to talk about myself in third person. “But I am not doing this to improve his opinion of me, I just want to gauge the situation.” This clarification seemed important to Rixton, whose shoulders relaxed minutely.

It really seemed to bother Rixton and Marion that Asa and I were close. It was irritating to have to pander to their sensibilities, but getting information about the rebellion was more important.

“Most of us are taught not to discuss the dealings of our masters, but…” Rixton hesitated. “There have been the usual grumblings of issues with King Galath's rule, and nobles allying themselves with different factions within the aristocracy. They sometimes speak about who is fit to rule if something were to happen to the House of Amsonia.”

“Talking about the end of a dynasty is no small matter.”

Rixton shrugged. “It’s not like they would actually do something- they are too afraid of the monarchy.” 

Rixton seemed to think all of this is just theoretical. But perhaps the nobles themselves were not as unmotivated as he thought.

"You haven't heard about any…unusual incidents?"

Rixton hesitated. "I'm only telling you this because it's you, Lady Raine- one of my close friends told me this in confidence- but one of the guards did see something unusual."

"What was it?"

"Usually when he delivered letters to his master's office, the lord would read them and then store them in his desk. But one day a letter arrived with a mysterious seal…my friend said he didn't recognize it as belonging to any of the nobility he knew."

"What did it look like?"

Rixton shook his head. "I didn't ask. But he said that after the noble read the letter he looked very pale, and disposed of it in the fireplace."

I lapsed into silence. Perhaps this was one of the invitations Marion had heard about at Luce's party.

"I see. Do you think you could ask him to describe it in more detail and then report back to me? It could be important."

Rixton nodded, looking sheepish. "I'll try,  my lady. I had the impression he didn't mean to tell me about it in the first place."

Secrets and fire to burn away the evidence…it was definitely a clue.

I decided to reward Rixton with some attention. "It's nice to hear you're planning on entering the knighthood. You're very dependable."

His eyes darkened. "Not dependable enough to keep you from getting kidnapped."

I sighed. Not that again. "Rixton, how many times must I tell you that there was nothing you could have done."

His shoulders had scrunched up again, making me feel a bit dissatisfied. I had just gotten him to unwind.

"If I can't even protect you…" He hung his head. "I don't even deserve to be acknowledged."

He straightened up a little, as if in anticipation. "But that training program, and the status of a knight…they could amend many of my failings."

“My lady, what would it take for you to acknowledge me?”

I felt my gaze soften. His eyes were at their most baleful, puppy-esque. “I have already acknowledged you, Rixton. It seems you just need to acknowledge yourself and your own value.”

“If you become a knight, it should not be to win my favor or even to protect me. You spent your whole life living for my sake. You should think about yourself for once. I want you to live for yourself.”

I might have just encouraged him to become involved in the rebellion, but for some reason that wasn't important at the moment.

I am getting much too sentimental nowadays.