I take a bar stool as Valerie leads her male friend to a table.
“Grumpy?” Sylvia mocks, putting a coke and whiskey in front of me.
“Shut up” I reply, taking a sip. “Who’s the pretty boy?”
“How do you not know?!” Fiona cries next to me, MJ and Sylvia jumping at her sudden outburst as they stand behind the bar.
“How do you know?” MJ retorts.
“We had a bonding session” Fiona says proudly, puffing up her chest. “And she confessed some secrets.”
“About him?” Sylvia asks, taking a swig from her own drink.
“You’re not meant to drink when you’re working” I mutter.
“Don’t be a bore. Tell me the goss Fiona” Sylvia insists, leaning in.
“Owen is the guy Valerie was in love with all through high school” Fiona begins, swirling her martini. “Apparently Valerie perked up the courage to confess at Graduation.”
“But they’re not together?” MJ interrupts.
“Let me finish. So she confessed and he admitted he had the same feelings as her. But what he hadn’t told her was he was moving overseas with his family after graduation. So they spent apparently a very romantic and passionate two weeks together before he left. They thought it’d be best to not do long distance since he didn’t know when he’d be back. They stayed in contact but never talked about getting back together, though he stayed with her whenever he came into town for a little bit.”
“That sounds so tragic and romantic” Sylvia exclaims, wringing the dish towel.
I grind my teeth together. So this guy doesn’t want to be in a relationship with her but is all too happy to use her whenever he drops in? This guy isn’t romantic, he’s an asshole.
“Sounds like a cruel bastard to me” I say, sculling the rest of my drink down, hoping to release the tension in my chest.
“But they’re long distance lovers,” Sylvia argues.
“Please, they’re occasional fuck buddies” MJ says, leaning against the back wall, eerily watching the two like a hawk.
“Shh, don't let them hear you” Fiona chastises.
“Looks like they’re too preoccupied to notice” MJ smirks, hitching her head towards the table.
I grimace as I look over, Owen and Valerie leaning in close, holding hands and whispering.
I clench my fists, “Another” I order, pushing my glass towards Sylvia.
“Could our boss be…” Sylvia begins.
“Do not finish that sentence unless you want night duty for the rest of the month” I state.
“I get it,” Sylvia shrugs her shoulders but she struggles to hide the slight smirk trying to come through her pursed lips.  

“Leah” Valerie’s cheerful voice grates on my nerves, but I swivel around to face her.
“Yes?”
“I was thinking, wouldn't it be safer if Owen stayed with us?”
“Pardon?” I grind out.
“I mean, because he’s connected to me, wouldn’t he be in danger now that he’s back?”
Valerie tilts her head, waiting for a response.
“No way. I don’t know nor trust the guy,” I reply.
“But he could be in danger.”
“Not my problem.”
“Why are you being like this?” Valerie sulks, creasing her brow.
“I’m not putting my guys at risk so you can get knock boots with your fuck buddy.”
“Excuse me?” Valerie asks. I notice her hands start to clench by her sides.
Well, that did it. She’s not denying it.
“I’m saying no to you bringing your boy toy back.”
“What the hell is your problem?! He could be in danger!”
“I don’t care!” I shout back. “He’s not my problem!”
“He’s my friend.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s more than just a ‘friend’” I say back sarcastically. Damn Leah, way to be mature.
“Fuck off, that’s none of your business. This isn’t even about that. We’re getting off base," Valerie waves her hands in front of her, as if attempting to get rid of the straying thoughts. "He could die," she reiterates.
“Not my problem” I emphasise.
Valerie is shaking with rage at this point, her face red. “How can you be so soulless?! This is another human being we’re talking about? How can you be so barbaric? Are you even capable of caring for another person?”
“Enough” I seethe.
“No! This is wrong and you know it. How can you leave someone to suffer? How can you leave someone to die?!”
“Shut up!” I screech, aggressively jumping off the stool.
Valerie loses her footing at the sudden movement and falls on her ass.
I loom over her vehemently. “I do not answer to you! I am not your whipped dog! I am the boss of this gang and i do not take orders from a whiny bitch with sex withdrawal!”
Shit. Fuck. Bad.
I want to take it back. I want to take it all back but I can't. If I take it back now I will look weak in front of everyone gathered. A leader cannot be weak otherwise their followers suffer. 

I can’t let them suffer anymore, not after asking them to follow me blindly into the night all those years ago. 

I guess I'm playing the bad guy again. Or maybe I am the bad guy, it’s been getting harder and harder to find that line of distinction lately, blurring out of view the more I try to grasp it.