In a mixture of shock and awe, my lips part ever so slightly against Cai’s. They’re as soft as I imagined they’d be the other day in my car, when I was so angry with him about the costume. I guess the only time we get close enough to kiss is when I’m upset with him. The same stinging electricity that his hands have caused countless times coming into contact with my skin is reproduced and amplified tenfold. I wonder if my lips will be numb forever after this. I still have my eyes open. Because I don’t think I can tell my brain to do anything right now. Also I’m pretty sure that if I close them, it would turn out that none of this is real. His large hand wraps around the back of my neck, squeezing lightly, holding me to him. I never thought much of kisses before, but this was something else entirely. I never wanted him to stop kissing me.

All too soon, and maybe not soon enough, students' voices begin to echo from the hallway, and Cai pulls away quickly, maybe even frantically. Has Cai Xian ever done something frantically in his entire life?

When he steps back, all I can do is stare at him, and him at me it seems. I realize I’m gasping for breath; I try to rein it in, embarrassed. Crystal walks in the door, her heels clicking through our silence.

“What’s going on?” she asks. “Did you guys start without me?” She shoots me a glare, what seems to be her new standard operating procedure, and I divert my gaze quickly. My lips are still throbbing from the intensity of Cai’s kiss. It feels like everyone should know what just happened, like they should be able to sense it. But everyone takes their places like it’s just an ordinary meeting. Crystal begins complaining about us starting early when she’s the one who always takes the notes, how it isn’t fair, but I’m blocking her out.

Did I just imagine what happened? I take a hunk of skin between my fingers, pinch my arm as hard as I can, and wince in pain. No, definitely not dreaming. If it were a dream, the she-demon certainly wouldn’t have made an appearance—that makes it a nightmare. I realize then that I’m upset Crystal walked in and ruined it—whatever it was. I look up at Cai. He smiles awkwardly at me. I still can’t really feel my face, let alone make an effort to match the faulty expression.

“We were just talking about Spirit Week stuff,” he says. The lie is smooth and unwavering, and I begin to question again if the kiss really had been all in my head.

I feel flushed and suddenly become very aware of all of the other students filing into the room. They have to know, right? One look at him and they’ll know. But the good thing about not being the popular guy, and maybe the only good thing about not being president, is that no one is ever looking at me.

My mind is floating in outer space when the meeting begins, and I’m unable to concentrate on all of the things I planned on bringing up. There will be no mention of a themed charity dance, longer cafeteria hours, or a unity float for Homecoming. All there is, is the fluttering in my stomach and the memory of Cai’s lips on mine. It should come as no surprise that just like the rest of him—and I can say this with total confidence—they were perfect. And I can’t seem to be mad about that fact. Throughout the meeting, his eyes keep flicking my way awkwardly, as if he’s also trying to determine the reality of what just occurred between us—probably hoping that it didn’t, wishing it hadn’t. When he asks if I have anything to add, I mumble that I have nothing and we’re dismissed.

***

I wait outside the gym for wrestling practice to end. A few minutes ago, I hung up with my manager whom I’d told I was too sick to come into my shift. I’ve never missed a day of work, but this can’t wait. Some of the wrestlers shuffle out the big double doors leading out of the gym onto the field, and I suck in a shaky breath. They’re playfully shoving one another, joking around. When my eyes involuntarily travel to their bodies, I feel a twinge of jealousy. They look so strong. I tried wrestling once, but I couldn’t stand the smell of the mats. Especially since, more often than not, my face was pressed into them. Eventually Cai comes out with a couple of his friends, and it doesn’t take a fraction of a second for him to see me. He looks surprised. And for a horrifying moment, I imagine what always plays out in movies to happen: the big hot jock, who secretly crushes on the nerd, mocks the nerdy guy in front of his friends to mask his feelings. But instead, Cai waves goodbye to his friends and jogs over to me.

“We need to talk,” I say in a hushed tone. As if it’s at all strange that someone might see Cai and his Spirit Week partner talking.

“I know,” Cai says. He nods toward the parking lot, and I follow him to his car.

***

A few minutes later, we’re sitting in Cai’s car. At least a minute goes by without a word spoken. Neither of us wants to be the first to talk, it seems.

“I—” Cai starts.

“Why—” I say simultaneously. We both stop and I just close my mouth, waiting for him to say his piece. God, this is so awkward. I contemplate sinking into the leather seats and melting into nothing. Maybe the earth will swallow the car and I wont’ have to have this conversation after all. Or lightning could strike! Honestly, I’d take anything at this point.

“It shouldn’t have happened,” Cai finally gets out.

Something twinges in my stomach when he says it, but I’m not totally sure what that twinge means. Is it relief? Disappointment? “You’re right,” I agree, despite not being sure if it’s actually true. “But...why did it happen?”

Cai shakes his head. “I guess I got carried away,” he says, his tone unsure. “It was a mistake. I have a girlfriend. And, and I’m sorry.”

We both got carried away. After all, I didn’t try to stop him. Didn’t push him away, or slap him like in a soap opera. I just let it happen. But why did I let it happen? I don’t even like Cai, I think. But you did like the kiss, a little voice in my head says. No, it’s wrong. On so many levels. And Cai has a girlfriend. And I’m not gay. I thought? But that thought opens a whole new pit I’m not even remotely ready to dive into.

“We still have the rest of Spirit Week,” I say.

Cai smiles, and it makes me feel the slightest bit of relief. “Yeah, I guess we do.”

I can definitely figure everything out by the end of the week, can’t I?

***

My night is filled with dreams of fast cars, kisses, and a near-naked Cai Xian. Dad drives me to school. The car ride is silent, but Dad doesn’t seem to mind, probably assuming I’m wrapped up in some assignment or test I have coming up. The last thing he’d guess is that I’m wrapped up in some guy, let alone the guy I declared to be my archrival just a few weeks ago following my brutal election loss. I’m about to jump out of the car as we pull up to the school when he speaks.

“Hey, my buddy is takin’ a look at your car. Thinks he’ll have it up and running soon.”

I smile. “Thanks, Dad, and thanks for the ride.”

“No problem, kid. Have a good day. Kick ass and take names, but don’t tell your mom I said that.”

I roll my eyes with a smile as I shut the door and head for the school, my mind continuing to spiral down the Cai rabbit hole. How are things going to be between us now? Should I have just given him the out about this whole Spirit Week partners thing? The show must go on, though, right? Spirit Week isn’t over, no matter how we feel. And the president and VP certainly can’t drop out in the middle of it all. With that exact thing in mind, I spent part of last night—when I wasn’t staring at my ceiling thinking about Cai’s lips—drawing up designs for the Spirit Week Parade Unity Float I’d never gotten the chance to pitch at the student council meeting.

When I turn into the main hallway, I spot a group of students gathered at the announcements bulletin board. My brows furrow as I approach. What’s going on over there? The winter musical won’t be posting the cast list for another month at least. As I approach several people glance my way and whisper to one another, seemingly causing a domino effect of similar reactions from the whole group. As I get closer, the group parts like the Red Sea and my sense of ever-growing dread inflates. I look at the bulletin board and find it’s covered from top to bottom with copies of the same picture. A picture of me, and Cai, in my car, seemingly about to kiss.